To complain about these arcade machines being out on view

[eliza1960]

I am at my wit's end with my DS and I feel like I need to do something. He is 21 and has severe autism, meaning he often gets obsessions over things. At the moment, he is obsessed with several arcade 'claw machines' with cost £1 a go. These machines are out in the general shopping area of our local shopping centre and there are about 5 of them scattered around outside all of the main shops.

Most days, he attends a day centre run by people who specialise in ASD. He goes out with a chaperone from the centre (he cannot go out on his own as he has the mental age and awareness of a child) to enable him to do normal activities and I thought this was working well.

However, I found out that they have been taking him to the local shopping centre and without my knowledge, letting him obsessively play on these claw machines. We give him an allowance of about £5-£10 a week and he has been saving this up for the machines. He has wasted over £30 on these machines over a few weeks and is extremely fixated on them, it's like an addiction. He puts it money over and over because he can see prizes such as games, toys, money, etc on view that he wants.

This has been going on for weeks and we have only recently found out. I am upset because we would never have allowed him to spend this much money on an arcade machine or let the fixation get this bad. I have spoken to the staff about it and they just said that as he is legally an adult, they can't control what he does. I think this is ridiculous because mentally, he is not capable of making rational adult decisions - hence the need for round the clock supervision.

It has now affected his behaviour. When he is not at the day centre, all he wants to do is to visit the shopping centre to play on the machines and he gets very upset, angry and self harms when we say no. It is an obsession.

AIBU to write a letter to the council or the shopping centre and explain how out of control this is getting? It's easy for vulnerable adults to become addicted with the thought of winning a prize. I would like the machines removed and preferable put in a more appropriate area, such as an arcade. These machines have become central to his life and he talks about them constantly. I just don't know what to do.

I think you need to call a meeting with his carers. I would be furious.

my hubby is a one to one and I know that his charges have a right to choice but they shouldnt include gambling.

We had a discussion about it and they said they have now banned him from going to that shopping centre with the chaperone. The problem is, the addiction is now there and we are the ones that have to deal with it.

The shopping centre put them on view on purpose, so people would see them and take a chance on playing them.

They are therefore unlikely to move them out of sight. They might be able to advise on a way to 'ban' your son from them.

The carers need to be pulled up here. They shouldn't have allowed it to get so bad, and now they've left you either making an unreasonable request to the shopping centre or having an upset son.

It's his carers that are the issue. To take the line that as he's legally an adult they can't control what he does is extremely alarming; why do they imagine he needs full time care? Can you complain to the centre?

It's so difficult. DH does not want to complain to the day centre because he says we've already raised the issue and they have stopped taking him there.

I suspect he doesn't want to cause a scene as it took us a long time to get him a place at this centre and they will be caring for our DS for years, possibly full-time when we cannot care for him - they also have residential placements.

I totally get where you are and how distressing this is, but honestly complaining is just a waste of your time and nothing is going to happen.

Two things have happened - the centre has acted and made changes and DS now has an addiction that is very difficult to deal with.

Is there any way another pleasurable activity could be introduced into his life to take the place of the machines? Sorry if that sounds a bit simplistic but it might work if he becomes enthusiastic about something new (that doesn't involve spending loads of money for no actual return)

Not sure if this is a silly suggestion, but i have seen it work with SN adults before...
Just a suggestion would you consider a prepaid credit card for him? Then you could load his allowance on to it and he would still have money, just not cash? You could also track his spending and see where they are taking him.

That sounds a good idea, Chippednailvarnish. I will discuss it with DH.

I am concerned because over the years, he's started to become fixated over how much money he has. He doesn't understand the value of money and will try to save huge amounts then sneak this out to the day centre. It's all he looks for now in his birthday/Christmas cards and will openly toss the card aside without reading it! He sometimes asks the carers for money too which isn't on. Trying to get him out of this so a pre paid card may be the answer.

I am so worried as he's now saying he wants to get up early and use his bus pass to get to the shopping centre so he can play on the machines. He has no road or social sense so I am terrified about him going out on his own and getting hurt or attacked. He has a habit of obliviously getting large amounts of money out of his pocket in public which is alarming. He knows which bus to get as he's memorised the number from outings with the carer. Feel like this is a nightmare.

I understand your frustration OP, but I'm with the other posters and lay the blame at the feet of the carers.

The shopping centre has put the machines there to make money and take advantage of impulses, the same as chocolate bars at the checkout, and it's the personal choice of the user to use/buy it. These things are treats, and not everyone who plays one game or buys one chocolate bar will become an addict. Taking them away would be punishing everyone else because others can't resist.

And sadly, in your son's case, he is unable to make that choice as an adult would, but his carers should have stopped him.