To hope this woman learnt from such a near miss?

[listsandbudgets]

On the bus this morning was a lady holding a wriggly 2 year old. The bus was crowded and she was standing. I immediately stood up and offered her a seat as did another passenger at the same time. She said "no its alright we like standing". Other passenger said "Please dont stand the drivers often have to brake suddenly along this high street". She still refused to sit down and wouldn't accept our offer to hold her toddler on our laps either.

About a minute later the bus suddenly braked very sharply, everyone standing lurched forward and she lost control of her little boy who FLEW forward strait into the chest of the man standing a little down the bus. He caught him but was clearly winded and shocked. He kept saying it was lucky he was fat as it meant baby had soft landing. Luckily little one was alright. His mums response was to grab him and hold him close and thankfully she then took a seat she was offered.

AIBU to

a) hope that this means she's not too proud to take a seat next time?
b) that by posting this anyone who reads and and might otherwise refuse a seat while holding a small child will now think twice and take it

Probably yet another feminist who took offence rather than seeing it as common sense

Or alternatively, her child just did like standing.

Is your name ironic joy as every comment you seem to make is sneary and anti-women?

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Mother posts on here, "AIBU to expect someone to offer me and toddler a seat on a bus with sudden stops, even after she fell into someone today?" and you'd get a full thread of people yelling at her for being entitled and that everyone else could have had greater need for the seats and 'I had 19 children and would never accept a seat for any of us on the bus and they have always been fine, others need it more, you greedy cow.'

So sick of bus/train seat threads.

It's hardly surprising she refused to take a seat when so many people are aggressive about parents with young children taking up seating (rather than disabled/elderly people who they might not even know are present). If she had taken the seat, you would probably be moaning about how 'entitled' it is for 'people who choose to have children' to take up seating, so she can't win either way.

Oh ffs - child lurched down bus and then was retrieved by mum. And....?

What? Not another feminist?!? They're bloody everywhere these days.

OP yabu. It's safer to sit down but you can't go round judging people for every slightly risky thing they do.

yanbu

Yes that's a good point, why is the driver braking so hard?

Did he not observe stopping distances like he's supposed to?

Did a feminist jump out in front of the bus, forcing him to slam the brakes on?

she probably didn't want to be a hassle by making someone stand up, bless her, bet she got a bit of a fright :(

I tried to get a bloke and his toddler to take my seat on a crowded bus recently but he wasn't having any of it.

Maybe the driver WAS a feminist AskBasil. They are everywhere you know

Did a feminist jump out in front of the bus, forcing him to slam the brakes on

Yeah, probably had her nose burried in the SCUM manifesto and was simultaneously sparking up a woodbine and didn't notice the bus hurtling towards her.

Nah, she probably got the uncontrollable urge to suddenly whip her bra off and burn it in the middle of the street - I hear that just happens to feminists.

I went on the underground last week with 2.5 yr old DD. I was always offered a seat but never said yes. I'm able bodied and DD likes to stand. It seems unfair to just take a seat someone else already has.

That being said, I too would offer a seat if the situation was reversed

If no one had offered her a seat, the toddler would still have gone flying with the hard braking. How did the driver know it was her choice to decline rather than no one offering?

"Probably yet another feminist who took offence rather than seeing it as common sense."

Oh, joy.

ComposHat
Is your name ironic joy as every comment you seem to make is sneary and anti-women?

I don't stand on the bus for exactly this reason, I'm 7 months pregnant with a toddler, I never know what is the safest thing to do, I can't usually sit near the pushchair and ds would be inconsolable if I left him and sat elsewhere, I tend to take ds out of the pushchair and sit down with him on my knee. When it's my stop I don't stand up until the bus is stopped I grab the pushchair with one hand and have ds on my hip I often have to shout wait! As the driver starts shutting the door and driving off before I have gotten off.

Yes that's a good point, why is the driver braking so hard?
Did he not observe stopping distances like he's supposed to?
However slowly you drive, if someone steps out in front you still have to stop in a hurry.
That's why the driving test includes an emergency stop.

Drivers have to brake hard sometimes! I was waiting to get off a bus once (I wasn't pregnant, or breast feeding, or have a pushchair with me, sorry) when he braked hard. I went flying forward, ended up sitting on the bottom step of the entrance with my legs pointing up towards the driver. Very dignified, especially as it took two men to unwedge me and pull me back up.

Sorry, completely irrelevant to the thread, just thought I'd share.

Maybe she had read one too many threads on MN about how parents are so entitled these days as they expect to sit down with their children.

She might have thought that if she let her child take the place of an adult she would be classed as one of those modern parent who are raising entitled children.

Or perhaps she was trying to be polite?

This is ridiculous. Children have to stand on transport all the time because there are not enough seats. So if there is an accident on one of these journeys it is no-one's fault but if there is an accident on a rare occasion when a seat is available its the parent's fault?

If this was 'AIBU to be angry that my child was hurt because no one offered us a seat' I would bet that half the responses would be YABU! Don't be so entitled. Your child is not a snowflake.

Yy devere and others who make the point about parents not being able to get it right.
OP, I'm sorry but your post is smug and sanctimonious.
Is it not exhausting and boring for ppl constantly criticising other mothers?
It certainly is to be reading it.

Maybe she thought someone else needed the seat more.

It was an accident!

Yabu for judging and she wnbu for sanding. People stand on buses all the time. She probably figured she'd hae to get up again for someone else and her toddler was safer being held onto than on a seat on his own or on a strangers lap

People who stand on buses when there are seats available get right on my wick. You have to push past them to get to the available seats.

But even more annoying is when more passengers get on, see the standing passengers, assume there are no seats, and form a crowded bottleneck at the door.

Pain in the arse.

While bus drivers can be very annoying as a car driver, as a bus passenger I've noticed how shit a lot of car drivers are to the bus so emergency and hard breaking wouldn't surprise me at all. After all you can only know your driving, not predict an arseholes.

Unreasonable or not it's her choice, she obviously did decide it was the wrong one since she took the seat straight away afterwards in this case. She may have thought she was setting a good example for her DC by not expecting or demanding or accepting a seat when she felt she was capable of standing, she may have only been going a few stops and though hassle wasn't worth it, she may have had haemorrhoids, she may be like me and get butt cramp after 2 minutes of sitting down, you never know.

I feel for the poor dude who got winded and the kid who had an unexpected trip, I hope the mother did thank the man for inadvertently catching.

I've said no thank you to a seat on the bus whilst holding a wriggling two year old, and with a big baby bump - because the only person to offer was an elderly man who I felt was much more in need of the seat than I was.