To be so annoyed with DH?

[NoMoreMarbles]

ok...im totally prepared to be told i am unreasonably annoyed...i think...

Backstory... DH and i have been together for 10 years and he has always been a money worrier. im the opposite and i manage our bills and keep us afloat as i am happy to pay the bills and DH would love to keep all of the money and pay nothing - He is terrified of us having no money/being destitute etc which i think is unreasonable most of the time. We have 1 DD who is 8 and loves to spend money but she is not spoiled at all as she gets told no for most of her requests - she has to save up her pocket money if she wants something most of the time...

anyway... to the issue (most of what is above is relevant...il get there in the end!)
We were supposed to be going away on holiday this year (DHs idea and he was the driving force to it until recently) we both need new passports and he had received a decent tax rebate which would have paid for a lot of the cost if not all... so i was discussing this with DH a couple of weeks ago and he suggested that we book a more expensive holiday for next year and pay it off and we could have a caravan/similar type of holiday this year...Ok i say...thats fine. especially as the local passport office has a huge backlog so we would be unlikely to get our passports in time etc

Fast forward to last night

I have been looking in the last few days for a caravan/holiday cottage for 5 days in august and i found a very reasonably priced holiday apartment in south wales very close to local attractions etc and i told DH i was looking...he was very disinterested in the details and i had already said i am planning on booking something if it was a good price in the area we wanted to go to etc so when i found this one i called DH straight away and told him about it.

He started going off on one about how "expensive" it will all be and we "might as well have booked a f**king overseas holiday it will cost us that much" (the rental is £149.50 for a mon-fri self catering style apartment and obviously there would be petrol costs and food costs and any trips out we might want to do etc i think a realistic budget of £500-600 is more than enough and we have that saved from the rebate already...plus we have 2 paydays between now and the dates we have booked the holiday we were looking at was £1250 for 3 of us for 7 nights full board in spain so more than twice our budget for this trip!)

anyway we discussed it and he said ok just book it its fine...so i did and he spent all evening yesterday moaning and complaining about how i am costing us a fortune and we need to save the money "just in case"

it is now booked and non refundable...

AIBU to feel like the reasonable person in this situation?!

sorry...that was a long rant!

Do you have any debt or job security issues that he might be concerned about? Any big expenses coming up? Any other reasons why holidays might not be financially responsible (e.g. a total lack of savings)?

If the answer to all of those questions is no, then YANBU. Could you work around this by agreeing to start a "fun fund" which you both pay into (a set amount each month, plus a top-up for your main holiday which varies according to finances), and which you are 100% responsible for? You could work it so that an equal portion of your disposable income goes into savings, every time you pay into the "fun fund" (on top of anything else you are already saving). That way, his enjoyment won't be tainted by knowledge of the cost, and he might feel a little more "in control" of spending.

ha ha ha ha.

So that's where OH goes when he tells me he's running.

£600 in this country for 3 of you including accommodation, travel and all the rest in August, you've got a bargain.

OH like yours thinks that we should be able to fly to another country to a well known tourist city, stay in a 'nice' hotel (his words, this means at least 4-5 star) for a weekend including spending money should only cost about £200-250 in total for a week.

Thought it right until I made him do the work/searching etc.

In his defense he travels with work a lot which is all booked paid for by them so has/had no real idea what things cost.

We have the same conversations about food shopping. He's constantly shocked at the price of milk/ bread.

So what I'm saying is it that he really has no idea how much stuff actually costs anymore, or is he a whiny git?

If a, make him fine the same cheaper, if b, tell him to grow up what the point in hoarding all your money, cause by some of the threads on here recently all that means is your DD will be plotting your death to get her hands on her inheritance

If he's never been involved in booking school holiday holidays, then it probably is a genuine case of he has no idea how much they cost.

My childless friends always fall over in shock when they realise how big the price differential is!

Ignore it and rise above. My DH can sometimes be a bit tight 'in case of things going wrong in the future' and it can be quite irritating. But eventually he backs down and admits we're not as badly off as he makes out. You've found an absolute bargain and I hope you have a fantastic holiday. YANBU.

I sort and pay for everything from joint money so DH has no idea what things actually cost, could this be the case here too?

Hi, thanks for the replies

Hopping- exactly right... Except DH scrutinises the bank statements and picks at the spending...

I agree that I have found a brilliant bargain he just doesn't think we should step out of the door and gets a horrible grump on with the mere mention of paying for a day out let alone a 5 day holiday! It is so frustrating! I could have happily moved out with his behaviour yesterday and this evening he is being all nicey nice with the you ok babe? And I love yous nothing has been said about the trip away but I'm planning on taking the bull by the horns and speaking about it once DD goes to bed later...