To think feeling sad isn't a reason in itself to see my GP?

[mytwoblackandwhitecats]

I recently lost my dad.

I happened to be talking to someone today about this and they asked how I was. I said I was okay - sad, but okay, and was asked what my doctor had said.

She was really surprised I hadn't seen my doctor. I've no plans to see my GP - last time I went was April 2012 with a bad throat infection - but her surprise did make me wonder if I was unusual and if most people would have promptly seen their doctor?

No I wouldnt have done, unless I was depressed.

No as grief is normal.

If you find it drags on then maybe consider pills but of course you will always feel the loss.

When my grandad died my mum had a similar reaction from a few people. She comes from a family of prolific pill takers who all wanted her to take some Valium to "get some sleep" but she said she didn't want to medicate her grief unless it escalated and became depression. This was in the weeks directly after he died. She never did need to see her doctor. I'm all for anti depressants etc but some people are too quick to jump to pills.

It sounds like grief as normal, so I wouldn't see the GP.

If you find the feelings never easing, you start seeing no point to each day and you cannot see a way forward then consider going, but not now. See how you go.

Very sorry to hear of your recent loss, and I do hope you are coping.

It really never occurred to me to see a GP when I lost my dad. I was sad, of course, but I could still cope with day-to-day life, still sleep, still eat, still take care of myself and my family.

Medical help is great if someone is struggling with the effects of their grief, either in the short-term or later on. But I don't think it should be seen as 'the norm' to need it.

Initially sleeping and eating were non existent really. I was angry and depressed. This eased after a week to ten days I think and I am all right now, I think.

It doesn't sound like you need to see your doctor. If you've gone back to functioning as normal (ish) but are feeling sad, then that sounds perfectly appropriate and does not require medical attention.

There is no reason to 'medicalise' grief, having said that, as Gps we always go and see newly bereaved spouses.
If grief persists beyond what people feel they can deal with, then we are there to help, but generally there is no 'given' that one visits their GP when one is bereaved, esp if it is not a spouse or not an untoward death
Sorry to hear of your loss. It is, indeed a very harsh time.

I can see that - my mum died in 1998 and my dad was grief stricken. His behaviour was very strange afterwards although it remained so for the rest of his life really.

I think a fair few people end up going to get signed off work by their gp in the initial stages of grief. Compassionate leave is only a few days and self certifying sick can only be done for seven.

There are a lot of people who truely aren't fit for work for a couple of weeks and I think that might be where the expectation of seeing your gp straight after a bereavements has come from.

Grief is a normal thing and doesn't need medicalising. However, lots of people who are depressed do not realise they are actually ill - lots of people wouldn't get help if it was only down to whether or not they felt depressed.

So sorry to hear that mytwo, been there.

Grief is not an illness that can be treated. It's a process you go through. There are lots of stages to the process, not everyone goes through all the stages and some people take a l-o-t longer than others to get through their own stages, which is fine. If it's any consolation, it does hurt, devastatingly so initially, but in your own time you somehow don't feel the hurt so acutely. It's difficult to describe but after some time it does become easier to live with.

some

I disagree, I am in no way a pill popper but diazpam really helped me in the immediate aftermath of death and during funeral and days after. I didnt even take all the tabs and one day years later came across them and wondered what they were....

I think people can be too scared to pop pills at times when they can really really help.

I am thrilled in fact to know that when death knocks again, I know there is something that will help me.

My brother is an opiate addict after becoming hooked on prescription medication, and it is frightening how quickly the decline can be. I am lucky really he hasn't been permanently damaged.