Need some advice! My DP is a bit older than me and at a very different stage in his life. He has two teenage children and has been through a rather nasty divorce. He attributes many of the problems him and his XW experienced to when they had children. He felt they both changed, his EW became depressed and so did he, he felt isolated from the children and also any social life etc. overall, although he adores his children now and doesn't blame them per se, he feels like having them forced him and EW apart and exposed their differences. It was a negative experience and he's extremely scarred by it.
Problem is I want children. Tbh it's a make or break for me. I just can't imagine a future without them and never had done. And I'm starting to feel ready for them. But, Whenever I broach the subject he rattles off all the negatives I listed above and more. when I push the subject and say that I have to have them, he says that he will have them for me and that he would never want to deny me the chance of having them. But this just isn't enough for me. I want him to want them, and not just because we may not stay together if we don't have them.
He doesn't understand that I worry that if he's not remotely positive about having more kids then perhaps it won't work. Aren't we just setting ourselves up for a disaster? Won't he just resent me if he's unhappy? Am I being unreasonable to need him to want them rather than just agree to have them so I don't break up the relationship?