to feel likes bit of a loser?

[winkywinkola]

I am nearly 43 with 4 dcs aged from 9 to 22 months.

I have not worked since the birth of my first dc.

I worked for a direct marketing agency in London. The hours and the pay just didn't make it workable.

I have a BA, a PGDip in Direct Marketing and an MSc in Marketing. And about 5 years experience agency side.

I am looking to get back into work. Something that I can work around the children.

I hit upon the idea of a mobile beautician. And aromatherapy massage.

My local college runs courses for a couple of years. Each course is about £1k and you can pay in instalments.

I do love cosmetics and all that stuff.

When I told my mother and a couple of friends they almost sneered at me for considering such a thing.

My mother suggested my degrees were a waste of money. My friends clearly felt such work was beneath me.

I felt quite disheartened and a bit of a loser. I thought I could do some of the work from home or as peripatetic beautician.

Am I a loser then?

Not at all.

Be aware though some courses you will have to get a loan out for as they are no longer funded.

Go for it, never mind what any one else thinks. It's your life, not theirs.

Really good mobile hairdressers are also in high demand

Nope.

What I did til last dd. if you call earning enough to pay bills and kids and holidays then heck I'm a loser!

It's fun. Do it.

My best friend's mother growing up was a beautician that ran her own school for a bit. Don't knock it, it's not as easy as it looks.

I am a qualified teacher with ten years experience. I am now working as a waitress. It suits my life, I work bloody hard, it fits around my kids. I don't feel I am a failure. I used my degree for many years and feel I was good at my job. Now I am a good waitress!! My circumstances have changed and I have adapted.

I am not a loser and neither are you. Good luck with your future plans

I don't imagine it will be easy at all. I'm not afraid of hard work though.

I guess I was taken aback by the snooty responses I've had from my mother - a university lecturer - and friends who are chiropractor and successful in publishing.

You're background in marketing would be immensely useful, I'd imagine

Good grief people are judgemental! Do what makes you happy I say :)

I think it sounds great. If you were my friend I'd be very impressed at you retraining and planning your own business.

Because you want to do something that suits your life? Not at all, go for it I say. Wonder how long it will be before they ask for treatments! Good luck :)

Not a loser at all. The loser is the situation many people find themselves in when they have worked hard for qualifications and to get a job and can't carry on because child care is so difficult to access.

I was a teacher, gave up on the birth of my dc and was a sahm for 10 years.
I now work a few hours a week in a shop. No stress, very part time, I earn a few pennies and it suits me now. I am sometimes a bit embarrassed when I see people I know but why should I be? If they judge, that's their problem. My self worth is not based on what job I do. I feel blessed to have the choice.

People are sneery about "working class" jobs like this, whereas, they actually are very family friendly. IME, a mobile hairdresser being able to fit around pre-school and school commitments will be earning more than someone with a professional job paying out for childcare for 2.

Put it this way, a full time place for the pre-school DC would be £1k a year round here (SE, outside M25), childminders for the other 3 (assuming they are all school age) would be around £15 per hour for all three, and most 'professional' jobs would need you dropping off around 7:30am, picking up around 6-6:30pm at the earliest. Around £1.5k a month.

So assuming commuting costs of around £200 a month, you'd need to earn approx £35k just to break even (that would give you just over £2200 a month). The costs would drop when DC4 got their funded 15 hours, but not much.

Many professional degree level jobs don't pay much more than that, that's a lot of work for very little profit and leaving all your DCs in long days at childcare, and you not being able to work late as most jobs like that need.

on the other hand, my mobile hairdresser has virtually no overheads. She comes when her youngest is at pre-school, and charges £25 to cut and blowdry my hair. She normally fits in 2 clients each day, which will increase when she's got her youngest at school and can fit more in. Assuming 2 lots of £50 a day, 5 days a week for only 33 weeks a year (as in the school holidays it's hard to get her!) that's £670 a month. With 4 DCs in childcare, you'd need to earn £48k to make that, for a lot more work.

It's a logical decision that suits your family. Your degrees are wasted in one way, because with 4 DCs, you can't use them to do the work you did before until they are much older and childcare is cheaper. This is a job that would make your family money, using your degree probably wouldn't bring anything in.