To think this is an awesome way to deal with bullies?

[D0oinMeCleanin]

Dd2 came home and asked if she could invite round the local bully round to play. Her reasoning being if she is friends with dd2, dd2 can introduce her to everyone and they can all be friends and then there'll be no one left to bully and anyway she might just be spiteful because she is upset that no one is her friend.

She's just left. She was actually very polite. Not at all the bossy little madam I was expecting.

Aww, your DD sounds brilliant DOoin, I hope it works.

matilda I understand and agree with your point but I don't see the 'project' mentality in the OP's DD. I don't think it's calculated like that would be.

(I totally get the church project thing - as an 'unloveable' person in many ways eg mental health issues, I try and curb that in church stuff I'm involved in, though as a high church member we don't do so much evangelistic stuff anyway)

My bully in secondary school told everyone that she was so sorry how she treated me. But she has never ever told me.

But as she told everyone else, that's ok. Apparently. And I am being odd to not accept it. I am the odd one for not making friends with her!

Thirty years after the events.

No, I don't see the "project" mentality now either, especially if the guest-girl is a "nemesis." Nemesis, lol.

Joey, that's creepy.

I dunno. I thought the same last year when my 7 yr old was being bullied by a 9 yr old. Talked to the 9 yr old about why what she was doing was wrong, then said we'd draw a line under it, invited her in for biscuits and juice and she played for a while. Felt all smug and happy that I'd done the right thing, showed my DD what the sensible course of action was, turn the other cheek etc.

A week later she forced my 7 yr old into a toilet cubicle and held the door, refusing to let her out. 7 yr old was traumatised.

That's awful Daisby. I'm not worried about anything like that, thankfully. Dd2 is very tall for her age, so even though this girl is older they're quite evenly matched in size and whilst dd2 does not like fighting she isn't afraid to stand up for herself or her friends. That's why this girl is her nemesis and not her bully.

What normally happens is the girl will start shoving one of the other kids. Dd2 will tell her to stop. The girl shoves the other kid all the more. Dd2 tells her if she doesn't stop she will have to make her stop. The girl shoves dd2's friend again. Dd2 shoves her. They end up in a scuffle. It ends in tears. They are not usually dd2's tears

My child is a menace as lovely as she is. When the shoe incident happened dd2 was all for going down to the park and chucking the girl over the fence after the shoe. I didn't let her, obviously.

Not sure what other posters problems are, can't see it myself. How sweet hope it works out for dd. x

Considering the move and what have you, I think it's lovely. Good for your dd and good for you too.

Sadly I don't think either of them has been adversely affected by the move. Quite the opposite in fact. They seem over joyed if anything. I keep communication open with them and let them know it's okay to be sad or worried but they just ask me why they'd be sad or worried. It's a shame really.

I think it can help. We invited dd's "nemesis" to her party, after much debate. It would have been quite rude to leave her out, given the grouping of the friendships.

She's been much better with dd ever since.

It was quite useful for me to understand what the problem was - dd found it hard to verbalise - but I could see quite clearly when I met her.

Good on your dd!