Baby Model / MIL / Rant

[LittlePeaPod]

I know there are more interesting AIBU and this is just a frustrated rant more than anything. I know I am very lucky because in comparison to others my MIL is a lovely woman, who adores her grand children. She is very supportive and has had DD one day a week (from 9am, over night) since DD was about 10 weeks old so DH and I can have some time together. If she has no other plans, she will also babysit whenever asked.

But, there are times when she drives me up the wall because she can be judgemental, over bearing, opinionated, interfering and will completely ignore how DH and I wish to raise DD (e.g constantly pressuring me to wean when DD was just over 3 months). Then again my mother is just as bad in this regard.

A few weeks back she announces that I should put DD forward for modeling work because she is the best looking little girl MIL has ever seen. She should be the next Pampers Model apparently. . Clearly MIL is very biased as I am sure all grand parents are. DH and I think our DD is beautiful but again I am sure all parents feel this way about their DC too. I made it perfectly clear that I do not want our DD in the industry. Nothing against those parents whose kids model but I do not want this for our child.

Recieved an email from MIL this morning. She has gone ahead and sent pictures of DD to three agencies and all three would like her on their books. MIL has done this behind my back and against my wishes. I am royally pissed off and this has really irratated me. She however thinks IABU and over reacting. Which part of NO did she not get a few weeks back?? Grrrrrr

AIBU for feeling so pissed off? Why does my mother and MIL just not listen sometimes???

Sorry for a rubbish AIBU and rant over.

If I'm honest I'd be pissed off if I'd specifically said I didn't want to do something and they went ahead and did it anyway, no matter what it was.

Although I probably wouldn't mind a child of mine modelling the way she's gone behind your back is disgusting. I would demand the names of the agencies, then phone them to explain that child was put forward without your consent and as her legal guardian you need to be the one to sign any paperwork and that that will not happen.

She's totally over-excited and thinks her granddaughter is the absolute best. That's super cute and lovely.

You're not unreasonable to be a bit 'wtf?', but I'd just smile and ignore it. You're obviously not going to trawl round getting her into shoots and stuff, and you're not about to spend money on portfolio photos etc. it's all going to stop here, so don't waste anymore time on it. Grandparenting sends previously rational parents a bit potty sometimes - it definitely has mine. I do lots of smiling and carrying on as I like.

Yeah that's out of order, not to mention that there are a lot of hoaky model companies out there who will say "yes you look great" and then charge you a lot of money for it for photoshoots and portfolio building with no guarantee of return.

Be frank with her - it's your child, and your choice.

Find out how much all the agencies charge to have you on their books and ask her if she is paying it!!!

Do you think she'd have the nerve to take your DD modelling in that day she has her?

While it's lovely that she's so involved with your dd, it was definitely disrespectful and not her place to do something like this.

Absolutely bang out of order. People have strong feelings about children modelling (I feel the same as you) and she should have respected your views.

Naughty of her to go behind your back.

Totally out of order. And also what CoolCat said - there are loads of unscrupulous agencies who will ask for money to represent you, or pay you an utter pittance for the pleasure of schlepping around town and having to wait around all day for the work to be done.

Thanks all. I was starting to think I was been irrational. I could not have made more clear I did not want DD in the industry.

Amy I will be contacting the agencies to withdraw DD.

Petra I doubt she even realises the could be costs to join.

Sister it would not surprise me if DD appeared on some campaign poster or whatever. If she did I would hit the roof. Surely that can't happen without parental consent??

Yeah course they want her on their books. And is MIL going to pay for the photoshoot that they'll make her have? Then will she be surprised when she never hears from them again?

She's out of line OP. I'd be really annoyed.

Yes just be careful because these companies will try and scam money from you in the guise of a photoshoot for potensial big bucks and then you will never hear from them again.

Also, your child will need to have the correct mentality interacting with strangers.

Anyway, thats not the issue. YANBU to think MIL should not have gone against your wishes. As she is your MIL Id suggest your DH have a word with her.

Zippey I just don't want DD doing it. I don't care what they offer.

The three companies are Scalleywags, Bizzykidz and BMUK. I have asked MIL for the emails she received so I can contact them all to say thanks but no thanks.

Also DH thinks I should pick my battles but he says he will have a word about boundaries etc. I think he thinks I am over reacting but he won't say anything because he knows I am irritated and I will bite his head off..

Time for your husband to step in and fight off your MIL

Parent agree, his mother, his problem and his conversation to have..

Scallywags & Bizzykids are legit agencies.

But don't worry too much. Agencies have to licence children for modelling or acting & the forms can only be signed by a legal parent/guardian.

Also children can only be chaperoned on a job by a legal parent/guardian or someone with a chaperone licence from the local authority.

I would be absolutely livid though.

I remember having a similar feeling when my MIL (who is generally lovely and I get on with her really well) gave DD some chocolate before I'd even started weaning her at Easter (she was 3 months). I understand one bit of chocolate won't have killed her, it was more the disrespect of my wishes that I was pissed off about.

Eh, just because she's made the initial contact with these agencies does not mean you have to follow it up or be brow-beaten into submission. Or even discuss it with her either. To be honest your husband saying you "need to pick your battles" is a complete cop-out on his part. She's taken an absolute bloody liberty against your explicit wishes here and you're not over-reacting.

My friend was on the books with a child modelling agency (for her son) and it certainly didn't sound like fun to me. Even though the agency put her DS forward for jobs, they still had to go to all the casting sessions to audition with other babies. I think my friend just kind of stopped doing it after a year. Her DS didn't get any campaigns that I know of (trust me friend would have told the world if he did!)

It will fade out. Mil won't want to pay for the photos or trail baby round auditions. Let it go, it will come to nothing

Just a well-intentioned but rather silly GP - there's a lot of them about. DH must tell her to think first in future.

I think it might possibly be well-intentioned but daft if MIL had done this without knowing the OP's views.

To do it when OP has told her explicitly that she doesn't want her child involved in modelling - well, I do think that's a different matter, & is way out of order.

It does sound to me that OP's DH needs to be having a polite but firm word with his mum. She can't just trample over the wishes of the parents because she's proud of her attractive GC!

Apologies I am not been rude by not responding but we are just on our way home. I will read and respond.

Jut wanted to thank you all for helping me realise I wasn't been irrationally pissed off.

I have emailed agencies to pull daughter and explained situation. MIL is in a bit of a strop with me. I suspect she was bragging to her friends about her super model GD the next pampers model

Also DH has had word or he says he has had a word