Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Am I being mean or un neighbourly?

82 replies

InspirationFailed · 18/06/2014 13:58

I have far to much stuff, I've got 4 DC and they just seem to have so much stuff! Doesn't help that I've moved house several times and still have stuff in black bags that haven't been opened over 3 house moves!

So I've saved up and hired a skip. I don't drive so couldn't get to the tip and when though skips are expensive it seemed like the best option.

It arrived an hour ago. I am pathetically excited about filling it up and clearing some space in the house.

My neighbour knocked my door, I think he lives about 5 doors down as I only vaguely recognise him. He said he was clearing his spare room and asked if he could put his stuff in my skip!

I said no, because I don't know how much if it I will fill myself, and if his stuff is in it there might not be enough room for mine, I've paid £200 to hire it for the week so want to get maximum use out of it. I've got lots to put in it including a table and chairs, a bed etc so big stuff. I can't afford to pay for another skip.

I explained that to him and he was pretty annoyed and said it was un neighbourly and selfish.

I asked him if he wanted the number of the skip hire place I used but he said he couldn't afford his own skip. I was going to suggested that he waited until I had finished to see what space was left but didn't when he called me selfish.

AIBU?

OP posts:

vitaminz · 18/06/2014 18:05

Lol. Only on Mumsnet would you get responses that actually agree with the rude, entitled fucker.

expatinscotland · 18/06/2014 18:06

Cover it! You are responsible for all rubbish in it.

LividofLondon · 18/06/2014 18:10

YANBU. Skips are expensive and unless he was going to help with the hire costs he shouldn't expect to be able to put stuff in there. If there's room in it when you've finished then it would be OK for other people to put stuff in, but not before.

However, was Freecycling the items not an option? Were any of them of any use?

Councils usually have bulk refuse collections (for a much smaller fee than hiring a skip) so could they have taken your stuff instead?

Some charity shops collect useable bulky items too. My local one is collecting a desk, chair, and armchair from me on Friday. Win win situation.

Rainbunny · 18/06/2014 18:14

I bet he thinks he was doing you a favor by bothering to ask you at all before dumping his stuff. If you only have the skip for one night I agree that you and your family should try taking turns watching it, and have a camera ready!

Footle · 18/06/2014 18:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnackeredMuchly · 18/06/2014 18:30

Let's say he paid £100 to use it, and fills half.

The OP discovers she has so much stuff she needs more than half...

Now she has to pay £200 for a new skip and £100 for her old one, just to be unselfish and neighbourly...

No way, YANBU.

Viviennemary · 18/06/2014 18:33

YANBU. Skips are very expensive to hire. You did say if there was any room he could put some stuff in it.

Tabby1963 · 18/06/2014 18:38

YADNBU! What a rude git, even if you do have room, I would not let him use your skip.

I filled three skips a couple of years ago when emptying my loft, shed (including the actual rotten shed lol) and garage. Each skip was delivered in the morning and picked up/replaced at the end of the day. No neighbours asked to put their stuff in or actually put anything in, but then they're a lovely lot .

There are rules and regs about what and how you place your rubbish, and limits to what pokes up. The rubbish has to be secure within the skip and your skip driver should use ropes etc to make sure it is safe.

If you let a neighbour (not the rude one, obviously ) put rubbish in after you have finished filling it, make sure it is properly placed or it might have to come off again.

It is such a satisfying feeling getting rid of years of rubbish sighs in fond remembrance.

HappyAgainOneDay · 18/06/2014 18:50

I can't understand why people don't use Freecycle to let someone else have their unwanted table, chairs, hamster cage, packet of icing, book, lampshade etc. Some people really are in need of all sorts of things. OK some might take them to car boot sales but at least you've got rid of them.

We had a skip once when our front garden was being landscaped. The broken up paving slabs (from a path) had been put in the skip and, after a bit of thought, we sneaked out and took some of the now crazy paving out of the skip and used it in the back garden.

UncleT · 18/06/2014 18:51

So obviously not unreasonable on any level. If that jerk wants to torpedo the prospect of waiting and seeing if there's space by embarking on a rant about selfishness before the offer has been made, well that's his own stupid fault.

CorusKate · 18/06/2014 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsVenus · 18/06/2014 19:06

can he not gumtree the stuff if its in good condition? Shame to fill up landfill with table & chairs when some one or a charity could make use of it.

HappyAgainOneDay · 18/06/2014 19:10

CorusKate You have a skip so have to use it. Why the rush to get a skip costing £200 when you could have got rid of the things by free other means?

I'm not criticising. I just don't know why people (not just you) spend money when they don't need to.

CorusKate · 18/06/2014 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yasmin0147 · 18/06/2014 19:15

Omg, what a cheek on him! Dont waste your time on this neighbour, he has a very bad attitude, its your skip, you paid for it, your not being selfish or un neighbourly, hes just a git.

MrsWinnibago · 18/06/2014 19:22

That's not full OP! Not saying you should let him but you've loads of room left for more if you have it.

Original poster

InspirationFailed · 19/06/2014 08:48

He doesn't seem to have sneaked round during the night, the skip is untouched! We have it for a week, it's almost full already and I've still got load to do! The man over the road (who seems nice enough, he trims his lawn with little clippers every day and likes to sit out side so he's been watching me) called me over when I went past to take DS2 to school and said I was filling the skip all wrong and should put the cardboard on the bottom so it squashes down and leaves more room, which makes perfect sense thinking about it. He's offered to re arrange it for me, he just wants a nosy really but I don't mind.

I could've free cycled or gumtree'd the stuff, there is done decent stuff in the skip, high chairs, toys, car seat and base etc but it would mean having to clean it all up, put it on line, answer messages, have it hanging around the house, and waiting for strangers to come and collect it and I couldn't be bothered I have 4DC including 2 toddlers and need the space, it's a case of throwing something into the skip when they turn their backs for a few seconds and let me escape from the room.

I am starting to see bits of floor in the bedrooms now though - it's a great feeling!! It's made me wonder whether I should get rid of the cot though I wouldn't throw it away mind, it's never been used, DS1&2 refused to go in it and both co sleep. I don't think I can bring myself to do it though, it would mean accepting that there's going to be no more snuggly newborns.

OP posts:

Ourma · 19/06/2014 09:02

Ha, from the picture I was thinking the same. You are filling it all wrong, not maximising the space at all. That travel cot could have made much smaller. Let him rearrange it for you. Although he might be thinking fo adding a few items of his own, which would be ironic! YANBU by the way.

Joysmum · 19/06/2014 09:07

When offering a skip, I order the size I need. If there were room when I'd finished then I'd approach the neighbours I'm closest to to tell them they can fill it up, random neighbours I don't know wouldn't get a look in.

ExitPursuedByABear · 19/06/2014 09:10

That seems very expensive for a skip.

misses point

Original poster

InspirationFailed · 19/06/2014 09:22

My first rummager!

I couldn't get the travel cot to fold up properly and chucked it in when I lost my temper with it

It's gone now though, along with a high chair, pushchair, glass table, 2 chairs and the car seat and base. He's picking up the stuff that's fallen out when he's been digging though so I'm not going to complain, more space for me to fill!

OP posts:

Ourma · 19/06/2014 09:54

Completely understand on the travel cot then. I would have done the same. Is the white van the rummagers? Bet he drives round looking for skips.

Original poster

InspirationFailed · 19/06/2014 10:05

The travel cot was never supposed to even be in the skip, I was trying to fold it to move it upstairs and couldn't get it done so tried to drag it, got it caught on the door and ripped the side. I shouted at it and all sorts I decided to punish it by putting it in the skip

It was his van. I watched him trying to fold the travel cot up to put it in the back, he couldn't do it either - he just chucked it in in the end!

I feel guilty about putting toys in now. Toy Story 3 is on.

OP posts:

HayDayQueen · 19/06/2014 10:08

You should put a sign up - 'feel free to take things from the skip, but please don't make a mess'.

Then they won't feel they have to sneak in to grab stuff.

chipshop · 19/06/2014 10:19

Yes when we had a skip last year for our garden redesign, rag and bone men and one of our neighbours had a field day emptying it. There was some random stuff chucked in like an old manky dressing gown tho. Why wouldn't you just bin that rather than sneak it into a skip in the middle of the night?

Flip

1 2 3 4