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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

1st birthday party

6 replies

Cernabbas · 18/06/2014 12:57

Aibu? - probably, but am in a grump with DH and need someone neutral to tell me I am.

When I had DD1 we had a party for her first birthday, inviting our NCT friends, those that I had met through baby groups and our friends who also had children, along wish out family. Because there were so many we hired a hall and some soft ply equipment and it was a lovey day.

DD2 came along, and with staying in touch with DD1s friends I didn't do baby groups etc with DD2 and we didn't do NCT. As a result we don't really have any friends with children her age. I did feel guilty at first, but she loves her sister's friends and has lots of fun with them and gets doted on by them.

Months back DH and I were talking about if we should do a 1st birthday party for her (this was still at the point when I felt guilty she had no friends). DH insisted we should as it wouldn't be right not having one for her when we did for DD1. Every time I tried to discuss when, and if we would hire somewhere or go to soft play, he was very non-committal. So in the end I let our parents and our siblings know we would do something for family at out house and set a date.

After we had done that DH starts inviting people. Not just DD1's friends who DD2 sees (which I am OK about) but his friends who have children, a couple of whom haven't even met DD2. Thankfully he hadn't said a time, so we I sent a message out to all who had been invited saying they were welcome to "pop in for an hour or so" between certain times. When I counted up there could be almost 50 people (including kids) descending on our house in less than a week of him inviting them all. And I BET they all turn up at once. I am hoping for dry weather so we can at least use the garden.

I am really pissed off, as if I had known he was going to do this, I would have hired somewhere. I am more pissed off that people are coming who haven't been bothered enough to meet DD2 since she has been born. Because of all this I have got myself into a real tiz about the birthday cake, food and drink, to the point where I have been snapping at my DH (who is actually such a lovely man) and being really grumpy with him.

So what do you think? AIBU to be pissed off with him? Please someone tell me I need to get over myself or something.

(Sorry for it being so long)

OP posts:
Mouthfulofquiz · 18/06/2014 13:48

Well. I would be pissed off too! Sounds like he has got a lot of work to do before this party. For what it's worth, a one year old wouldn't know if they are at their own party or someone else's... So it wouldn't have mattered a jot if you had one for one kid and not for another. The parties at that age are just for the parents aren't they?

Cernabbas · 18/06/2014 14:18

Thanks mouthful!
I think that was really my reason for DD1's party - nice excuse to get together with all the lovely mummies (and daddies) who had helped me survive the first year.
If we were going to have a party on that scale I would want to book somewhere and have time to plan. I work every day except today and the party is Saturday.
Both my DDs will have a nice time with their cousins, aunties, uncles and grandparents, and I can get photos to show DD2 that she also had a 1st birthday for if she questions it when she is older!

OP posts:
MrsWinnibago · 18/06/2014 14:44

Hire somewhere and let people know.

StanleyLambchop · 18/06/2014 14:47

Get him to sort it all then, he has invited all these people, what does he intend to do to entertain/cater for them?

charleybarley · 18/06/2014 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cernabbas · 18/06/2014 15:28

Thanks everyone. He has just agreed to sorting everything bar the birthday cake (which I want to do) and have got MIL bringing a few things. (He has just told me IABU as I don't want to share one of her yummy quiches with any of the guests.)
Part of me is hoping that he falls flat on his face with this so he realises why I have got so pissed off about it all. I might hide myself away (stuffing face with quiche) and let him entertain.

OP posts:
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