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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that if you enjoy a drink, you're enjoying a drug?(alcohol)

110 replies

curlygiraffe · 18/06/2014 06:52

Please tell me if iabu and settle a debate with a friend.

I rarely drink, I have had health issues and regular drink is not recommended. I know lots of people who 'like a glass of wine' in the evening to relax. Whilst I'm not suggesting that they necessarily have a drinking problem, I have said that the reason that people enjoy alcoholic drinks is due to the physical reaction from the alcohol (brain and body relaxes etc) and they like the taste due to past experience telling them that the relaxed feeling is coming.

If the alcohol wasn't the main 'benefit' of the drink, then why wouldn't people save money and drink grape juice or water? My friends and I are divided on this.

Surely the reason people drink alcohol is due to the physical reaction from the erugi

OP posts:

HercShipwright · 18/06/2014 10:36

I have never once in my life asked someone why they are drinking beer or gin or whatever. Not once. I've always assumed it's because it's what they like or it's the least worst available alternative. I am frequently asked why I'm not drinking, or why I don't drink (I never volunteer the info that I don't drink anymore but sometimes 'helpful' colleagues furnish this info all by themselves. Actually sometimes they are being helpful genuinely, because some people - never Brits - really do try and force alcohol on you (I've had this happen in Russia, Kiev, Riga ...lots of other places too. Mainly Eastern Europe rather than western though)). It's clear the disapproving people are the ones who drink. I just want to live my life without being got at. Hence - I'm giving tonight's event a body swerve and watching the footy instead. Even though it will raise an eyebrow or two.

Hairylegs47 · 18/06/2014 10:38

I've found Herc experience very common. Some people get downright aggressive, it's not pleasant. My family are the worst.

HercShipwright · 18/06/2014 10:38

bogey re the halo comment - how nice. The people who deserve halos aren't the people who don't drink - there's nothing laudable in not drinking, it's just a choice - but the people who do drink and aren't vile to the people who chose not to. Sadly, that doesn't include you.

Bogeyface · 18/06/2014 10:39

I think that people who go on the attack about others not drinking (and I have seen it happen) generally are defensive about their own drinking. The ones who would try to persuade the designated driver to "just have one" would always be the ones that drank too much too often. I drink and am happy with my decision to, but I also have a 0 drinks if I am driving policy, I just dont think you can be sure what is a safe limit. That has caused me to me to be called sanctimonious before now, by someone who clearly drank far too much to drive on a regular basis.

pointythings · 18/06/2014 10:39

Herc I've drunk tap water in rural Egypt... I just find that water that isn't hard tastes better. I'm in Suffolk and ours is so hard and chlorinated you just can't drink it as it comes.

I think a lot of people are very defensive about drinking.

Although I like alcohol, my drug of choice is probably caffeine (though I only have one mug a day), closely followed by pasta with grated cheese. Oh, and curry. And licorice (which has been shown to be addictive and can raise blood pressure...)

Bogeyface · 18/06/2014 10:40

Actually Herc there are quite a lot of posts that are subtly sneery about not needing or wanting to drink that imply that they are somehow better than those that do. If you think I was referring to you then that say more about you than me.

noneofyours · 18/06/2014 10:40

I think in regards to saving money, tat doesn't work. I know people who drink non-alcoholic wine, J20 and non-alcoholic cocktails. These don't cost as much as alcoholic drinks but are closer to soem of them in price then they are water or juice. J20 costs £3 in our local pu, while a bottle of wine is £12, you get 4 glasses from a wine which are just slightly smaller so you're paying close to the same price.

With the alcohol part, I like the taste of wine and often drink non-alcoholic especially after work since i have to drive after. When you're getting drunk, you're definitely after the drug; sometimes when having a couple to relax I think it's also the taste and the habit as well. Having a glass of wine in the bath I love, but I'm not bothered if it's alcoholic or not.

All drinks give you something, look at fizzy drinks- so much sugar, when my friend had to cut down for cost he was knackered due to the lack of caffeine and jittery because of low sugar. The same goes for energy drinks, though more jittery.

pointythings · 18/06/2014 10:42

The people who deserve halos aren't the people who don't drink - there's nothing laudable in not drinking, it's just a choice - but the people who do drink and aren't vile to the people who chose not to.

Why thank you, Herc!
I try not to be vile to anyone. Although those people who call wanting me to sue over the car accident I didn't have three years ago bring me close to failure in that endeavour.

HercShipwright · 18/06/2014 10:43

Pointy - I grew up in a hard water area so I guess that might be one reason why I think the water in Devon tastes funny. My drug of choice is probably marmite. And caffeine.

whatever5 · 18/06/2014 10:46

But actually - your post is another example. You assume that I disapprove because I don't drink. I haven't said anything about drinking other than that I don't and some people are vile about that.

No I assume you disapprove because of some of the comments you have made on this thread. You haven't just said that you don't drink at all. You have also made comments such as "Alcohol has a complete stranglehold on society", "When I questioned my MP's stance in the minimum alcohol pricing thing."

squoosh · 18/06/2014 10:48

Alcohol is a drug
I enjoy alcohol although I do not enjoy all alcoholic drinks
Some drinkers sneer at non drinkers
Some non drinkers sneer at drinkers

Bowlersarm · 18/06/2014 10:52

Herc we must move in really different circles if you are mocked or pressurised for not drinking. Or maybe it's an age thing (late 40's here).

Sometimes I drink a little, sometimes I drink a lot, sometimes I go for longish periods of time without drinking at all. I can honestly say no one ever comments, either way. If I ask for a lime and soda, I get a lime and soda, no questions asked and no raised eyebrows.

I really think people who say they are pressurised into drinking, or feeling like they should be, should get a new friendship group quite honestly. It is not something I have ever experienced.

rinabean · 18/06/2014 10:53

Some alcohol tastes nice - you don't put wine in food because you want to get drunk?

I can't drink for a while and it's annoying. Sometimes I just want a cold beer of an evening. A cold coke is okay but not the same. Sometimes there's an offer of a glass of wine but I have black coffee instead. Now according to "it's all drugs and you want the drugs" I shouldn't really care, should I? The caffeine should be appealing too. But the taste matters. Grape juice tastes like wine like bread tastes like beer. Sort of, but no, not really.

HercShipwright · 18/06/2014 10:57

But big alcohol does have a stranglehold on society. The amount of money devoted by Big alcohol to lobbying is gigantic. The BMA wanted to introduce minimum alcohol pricing and Bog Alcohol - together with lots of willing dupes - fought it tooth and nail. I think we should have minimum pricing, that doesn't mean that I disapprove of drinking per se. Trying to spin it as if I do is just another example of the defensiveness another poster referred to upthread. I have a friend who has his own wine cellar, and he supports minimum pricing. Most sensible people do.

Whocares156 · 18/06/2014 11:01

You are right OP, alcohol is a drug

It is shocking how this drug is so accepted and trotted out so many times on mumsnet as the solution to a bad day

I am mixed race and generally don't get racist comments but if on a night out will get several racist drunken abuse comments directed at me all because of this crappy drug that so many people enjoy

HaroldsBishop · 18/06/2014 11:01

Yes it is a recreational drug. It's also far more harmful to both the user and society as a whole than Cannabis, Ecstasy, and many other illicit drugs.

Like most things, enjoyed in moderation there is no problem.

stinkingbishop · 18/06/2014 11:02

What lookingthroughthefog said. Tea, coffee, chocolate, exercise, breastfeeding, cuddles, sex, in fact any food or drink that contains vitamins and minerals (that will be most of them then) and any activity, even no activity at all.

They all produce an effect, small or large, on the brain and our moods.

Personally, I am addicted to cuddles .

HercShipwright · 18/06/2014 11:05

Bowlers yes I expect we move in different circles. And you aren't a non drinker so you wouldn't have the same experience as me even if you did move in my circles. But I don't think I've said that most people are horrible about this, and if you have inferred that from my posts then I certainly didn't mean to imply it. Most people are nice. Some people are not.

This thread is a very good example, really - look at the number of people implying I'm talking out of my arse (all that 'different circles' stuff - obviously we all move in different circles) or trying to make out I'm disapproving. Attack attack attack. And yet more posters have said they have seen this too, either for themselves or for others, and note how defensive some drinkers can be. But a lot of those people actually are drinkers themselves.

I think that maybe it's nothing to do with drink (because vegetarians and vegans get this too, and people with faith or without faith, and Green Party members (I'm not one of those but I have a friend who is and he finds some comments very trying)). I think some people just are really defensive and fighty and their actual problem is people not doing what they want them to (which is living their lives in the exact same way they themselves do) rather than alcohol or meat or what team you support or your belief system etc.

HercShipwright · 18/06/2014 11:07

Obviously militant non drinkers fall into this fighty category too.

NigellasDealer · 18/06/2014 11:08

gosh really OP?

whatever5 · 18/06/2014 11:11

HercShipwright - I said that your comments make you sound disapproving about alcohol because they do to me and probably to other people. You are the one trying to "spin" things when you say that I only think that because I am defensive about drinking. I don't even drink so that is not the case.

RufusTheReindeer · 18/06/2014 11:12

I don't drink to get tipsy or drunk, in fact I hate that bit don't like feeling that I don't have control

I do like the taste of it though

notaflamingclue · 18/06/2014 11:14

I agree that there are many people who object to others' choice of beverage, both drinkers and non-drinkers. Both are as bad as one another, IMO.

I drink once, maybe twice a week. Usually, to relax, I have a glass of squash and read a book. It works!

I love a drink, and I love getting pissed (occasionally). But I don't like drinking alone, whether just one or lots - and this is obviously due to the physical effects that alcohol has on me. I'm quite happy drinking a coke alone. I wonder if those people who sneer at non-drinkers in a social setting might be feeling (unfairly) a bit like this?

RufusTheReindeer · 18/06/2014 11:15

While on the subject of drugs if someone told me I couldn't have alcohol again I wouldn't care

Take away my chocolate and then we may have a problem

LookingThroughTheFog · 18/06/2014 11:19

On the pressurised to drink thing - I can't think of a single mate who would push me to have a drink when I've said no.

At a family party last year, I had to really push to the point of rudeness when an Aunt kept on about how a half glass wouldn't cause me any harm.

That's not her assessment to make; it's mine. Anyone who doesn't get that really pisses me off. If someone says 'no thanks', that's the answer!

I'm perfectly happy (slightly envious) when I'm among people who are drinking. I find people who have drunk to the point their insensible intimidating, but people sharing a bottle or two of wine or opening a couple of cans with their take outs; it wouldn't occur to me to ask why they're doing that. I don't get the odd culture where social occasions must include a drink or you're somehow strange.

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