To be depressed by my MIL?

[MillieH30]

MIL likes pronouncing that my DD is "a [insert MIL's surname]" through and through. She does it at least three times every time I see her.

Then there are constant observations (made in a low conspiratorial tone - I don't know why) such as "She's got [random member of her side of the family]'s mouth/feet/nose etc".

Her response to being told that DD has conjunctivitis, was that it must be hay fever, as she and my DH (and long list of random family members on her side) all suffer from it. I pointed out that I don't, and it's only in one eye, but she wouldnt have it.

Today a random stranger observed that DD had my eyes. MIL wrinkled up her nose, looked as though she was about to be sick, and responded sharply: "No, no, I really don't think so. Then came the immortal line: "She's a [MIl's surname] through and through. Stranger realising she was mad hurried off.

Twice since, MIL has informed me my DD has uncle's eyes (even though his are brown, and DD's and mine are blue).

Initially it was amusing. But I don't have any parents to counteract MIL, and she's been going on like this for over a year now. Am I being unreasonable to feel mildly insulted and depressed by this? Any suggestion on how to deal with it without upsetting her?

Oh god my MIL does this too. Apparently my PFB was cloned from dh without any involvement from me whatsoever. He got his curly hair from dh apparently (dh has straight hair, I have corkscrew curls)

Then ds2 is the spitting image of our niece as well they had a passing resemblance as babies but nothing much alike now

Strangely she never ever comments on ds3 at all.

Tbh in the context of all the other nasty shit we've had from the PILs, this is small potatoes so I just grit my teeth.

I would be tempted to just respond, "Well that's lucky..." with a mysterious look.

Booooo's example made me snort. Reminds me of the time DD1 was eating her dinner awkwardly with her fork and MIL said excitedly "Oh look, she's using her fork just like my uncle George did, I can see a family resemblance there!"

She was just eating her dinner, with a fork! DH and I were in (secret) hysterics.

My MIL did this too. My DH has curly hair and mine is straight. Baby has straight hair.

MIL: "Oh that hair will go curly"

I got DH to tell her to shut up in the end. That worked.

It's Nana Genetics (one of the branches of Nana Logic):

Nana Genetics

1. All favourable traits are inherited from the family of the Nana speaking. Less favourable traits are inherited from the other family leading to the stated fact that 'he did/didnt get that from our side of the family'
2. Cousins will always play together no matter the frequency with which they see each other or the age differences.

I'm afraid this is only the start. There will be many, many other examples of the different branches of Nana Logic to come.

My MIL is like this too! Every ounce of DD's being is attributed to some random member of DH's family.

DD has brown curly hair, as do I. She doesn't get it from me though, don't be silly! It's a very specific shade only found on DH's side of the family

It is very annoying.

I know how you feel. When DD was born my mil even brought her (large) album of baby photos of DH to the hospital to compare their likeness.

It's easier said than done but just try to ignore her and if you can, get in a remark like a pp mentioned such as 'oh yes, her terrible tantrums, she's a .... through and through'. May make mil think twice.

Feeling very relieved reading this as we get this all the time from MIL. It is normally actually DH who points out that my family may have some influence too. The most hilarious ones are things that every child does and saying how much like DH it is. Mind you, she often tells this story about how strange it is that her DN,who grew up in Australia, eats ice cream in the same way as her. How many different ways are there to eat ice cream!

Op my MIL used to do this especially when DD1 was first born. It is in fact one of only 2 times I have bitten her off. (my Mil as a rule is lovely)

In retrospect I think it is because I didnt have the other side of the family (mine) near to counter act with the likeness they saw. So it felt very onesided even when I could see similarities.

What made me snap after having put up with a year worth of eyes like x nose like b toes like C etc etc was..

"Oh look she has blonde hair BIL (who 1 I cant stand and 2 is dark haired) was blonde as a child that must be where she gets it from..."

Me " EXCUSE ME but do you THINK just THINK that the blonde hair might just MIGHT come from ME?? Pointing at my own blonde hair OR her grandfather (my dad also blonde) and that there MIGHT just be a bit of Danish in her???"

MIL said nothing DH felt i had been a bit ott but knew I had struggled with this so didnt really say much.

MIL cut down on all of the comments and now when she mentions anything I can see it myself as it is genuine (dd1 is now 16)

Glad I'm not alone. Love the responses, thanks everyone.

my MIL is the same. She will often say how DD is so like DH's brother / her ..... I have no clue where she gets that from as she is the spitting image of DH who is the spitting image of his Dad (note DH looks nothing like his mum or brother). But DBIL is golden boy, so obviously she would look like him instead of my DH who apparently isn't good enough.

Oh, and anything bad is definitely from my side! Even though DD is not even 2 yet and is still a little angel really. But any bad behaviour is put down to my genes (not tiredness etc), as is any health problems. (apparently there are absolutely no bad genes from her side - they are all as healthy as an ox!!)

I think you just need to learn to tune it out I'm afraid. I do tend to avoid MIL situations as much as possible. If she is at our house and starts along these lines I will go and fold washing or something. I try to avoid being at her house as I have fewer escape routes!!

My MIL is convinced that DD is the spit of her as a child and is always making comments to this effect. I just let it wash over me, but I did have a giggle at a recent family bbq when DH's uncle (MIL's bro) told her (loudly, in front of pretty much her entire family) to stop talking out of her bum and go to specsavers because DD looks nothing like MIL "and thank god too, because you're an ugly old bint!"

I've always liked him.

Mil was like this (not so much anymore). I think the novelty wears off eventually, I guess random folk can only hear it so many times.

Dp and I are complete opposites in terms of looks: me - Indian, black hair, dark brown eyes, DP - Irish, fair, grey/blue eyes. DS1 and DS2 have both inherited my hair and eye colour.

When he was first born MIL maintained that DS1 had Dps eyes and 'wasn't DS1 just like him, especially around the eyes'. People were giving her looks and a few pointed out that Dp had grey eyes. She sounded ridiculous.

Apart from the eyes and hair, DS1 looks like a dark clone of Dp as a child and DS2 looks like me, so we've got one each. Maybe that's an option, OP? A second child you can stake your claim on.