to expect people to reply by the requested RSVP date?

[momb]

It isn't the people who can't come who haven't RSVP'd. It's all the extra people who hardly know us, whom my mother asked us to invite. All the same generation: one which I thought was particularly hot on etiquette.
So here we are at the cut off and I'm chasing what I know will be negative responses, knowing that there were people I could have invited whom I actually know and like.
I thought planning a party woudl be fun: it always looks fun in films!
AIBU?

No, YANBU!

Are you sure they haven't done something like send it to your mom and she hasn't passed it on to you?

If not then it's a no and invite others in their place if you can!

YANBU. It baffled me that so many people failed to RSVP for our wedding - and when chased, acted as if we were being utterly bizarre by questioning it - "well of course we're coming, we thought you knew that?".

Well NO, because I'm not fucking psychic and if I was, the wedding budget would have been almost* $1m bigger because of the prize from the Randi Foundation, you know?

*minus the Special Bridal Champagne allowance, of course ie a year's worth

Unfortunately I think everyone experiences this, and it is always surprising to discover the rude people who do it.
I would never ignore an invite to something, even if I didn't want to go I'd make up an excuse to at least reply.
At my wedding last year, it was several of the older people who never replied, in particular people MIL insisted absolutely needed to come. FIL even left them a few voicemails at home and they never replied (his relatives).
I've also found this when organising hen parties as a bridesmaid or birthday parties for other people. Generally this has been conducted by FB message that has clearly been read but they don't bother.

The surprising thing is the people who are often most excited about their invite are the ones you thought wouldn't be bothered.

Please don't take it personally though, it is their issue not yours!

YANBU but YAB unrealistic

what annoys me most for pay per kid parties is when they don't reply at all but then DO show up