Doing ABRSM graded piano exams is killing the joy out of DD's learning of the piano...

[CluelessCrapParent]

She has her Grade 2 next week. She's not one of those who conscientiously practices everyday and complains that she gets fed up of repeating the same pieces (even though they are far from perfect). She gets distracted easily. It was OK at Grade 1, she got through it, but now the Grade 2 pieces are a lot harder for her and more difficult to get "perfect" (which is what the examiners will be looking for). Now she's saying she doesn't want to do it, not feeling ready etc..

After we get through next week's exam. I don't know whether to just drop the whole idea of graded exams altoegther, but am a bit concerned that she would just drift without focus in her lessons. Or, whether to change syballus to Trinity, maybe they are less formal and strict? Or just carry on with the ABRSM and hope that she will grow in maturity with her music practicing and handle the graded exams better.

I'm thinking the level of perfectionism expected in some of these graded exams maybe just doesn't suit her.....is that normal?

Talk to me please. Any advise welcome, we are not a musical family so don't know much about these things. I'm aware that I might just get flamed for this seemingly first world problem though....

Musicroom...just having a look, fantastic...I can download Happy, Jar of Hearts, Bruno Mars....all the songs she sings in the shower to!!

That's great!

If your DD finds the songs difficult to play, tell her to play the right hand first (which is usually the melody) rather than worry about both hands together straight away.

Wowzers Nerdy - Microjazz takes me back!

Clueless I'm so pleased you found musicroom. I have found them to be excellent.

Ah, they are part of my core repertoire, Mrs Lundy!

Do the grade 2, then do some different music and do grade 3 in a year. Our children did/do ABRSM to grade 8 etc. I am sure she will find it all more fun in a few years when she's got more into it. It's a vital lesson in life that we work hard at things, stick at them and then do well which we can apply to school work and all kinds of things.

I felt the same with piano at school! She needs to find a few pieces that she really loves (probably modern pieces) that she can learn to play and be a "good" piano player independent of the graded pieces (which are what probably everyone her age taking piano are playing.)

Hi. Have to say firstly that I am not musical atall myself but DD has just done grade 2 piano (trinity - merit) and grade 4 violin (ABRSM) and has started working for grade 1 singing. I don't see any great difference between the work needed for the two different boards. The aural tests are slightly different but I think that is all.
I think it depends on the child. I tried to discourage exams and to just play for fun as didn't want extra pressure on her (she is now 12) but DD thrives on the exams. She is a very competitive type and the minute she finishes one her eye is on the next. Playing for fun may be the way to go for a while and then see. She is young, DD only started piano at 10, so could do exams any time.

I have a music degree and didn't get do many gradrs my teacher didn't like them. He wanted me to learn different styles. I loved my lessons with him and learnt so much. Sometimes grades just narrow the experience. Maybe leave it for a bit she doesn't need to do every grade.

Don't do exams if they're making her miserable, there are hundreds of piano pieces out there that she can play for fun. 9 is quite young and there will be plenty of time to do them at a later date. It's more important that she enjoys playing - music is such a brilliant hobby!

I have taught the piano for over forty years and I can say with all truthfulness that exams don't suit everyone. Grade one is always worth a go , it gives a child something to aim at, but don't fall for the year on year routine unless your child expresses a positive interest. Far better to learn popular little pieces and set a strict time limit, say three to four weeks for each piece, give them a mark out of ten and then move on to the next piece. This adds variety and most importantly exposes the pupil to fresh music on a regular basis, thus improving sight reading, which in turn makes playing the piano more fun.I have known too many children slog away at an ABRSM exam, manage a pass or even a distinction after hours of study, then give up, unable to face the same level of boredom for another year. Not every child wants to make an academic study out of what started out as a fun activity.

As one pupil put it to me 'I'd rather try different pieces than labour away on any more grades. Unless you're headed for the concert hall, one or two exams will be quite sufficient for most children and you will retain their interest longer.

Yrrb, most people on the stages of concert halls don't do grades, in fact I don't think I know any professional musicians who did grades.

I think they are usually a false goal and a crutch.

We have just bought a piano (DH used to play seriously) and are letting the Dc have a go when they want. So no formal lessons. I bought a couple of these books here and they've been a big success.
First I downloaded some free v. easy music (twinkle twinkle etc) and now the Dc have each chosen one to play from the Disney books. I decided it would be easier and more motivating for them to learn their favourite songs rather than from a great desire to listen to Disney!

I never did piano exams. When my first teacher mentioned it i said no wanted to do it for fun. They moved me to another teacher who just taught me to play. Yanbu. Dont understand why you do exams piano playing is for fun.

I did grades 1 to 4 on the piano. It really did take the joy out of playing. I am quite musical, but to this day, I don't play the piano anymore. I taught myself to play the guitar, and frequently play that.

I wish I wasn't forced to do grades on the piano, and learnt more varied music - might have a chance of enjoying it now. Also not having anywhere private to practice didn't help.

I was the same sahknowme. I did grade 4 and then I refused to do any more exams. My teacher kept me on for 6 months but when I still refused to do the exams I was told she wouldn't teach me any more. I can now pick out some basic tunes to teach the DC a bit but beyond that I've done no music since.

Learning the piano is such a wonderful thing to do, but I totally understand how your daughter feels. I hated the pressure of the exams, and it led to me giving up piano, and later on the violin too. It wasn't until I picked up a flute I learned to really love music. I taught myself and decided (with my parents support) never to take a grade exam. I managed to get past grade 8 standard and taught the flute. Obviously there are some situations where having the grade is useful e.g. If you need the grade for a course or career choice, but in general saying I play to grade 8 standard has been enough for most things on my cv... I opted for enjoying music and it was definitely the right choice for me but everyone's different.

I did grades 6 and 8 on one instrument and grades 4, 6 and 7 on another. I went on to have a career in music.

I stopped after grade 3 (but in singing) still went on to music school and now have a successful career in singing. In my whole career nobody has ever asked about my ABRSM grades!

I hated taking the exams. I felt exactly like your daughter, it just sucked any joy out of it for me. I remember my mum just pushing and pushing the practice to get ready for the exam.
And then she was pushing me towards grade 5 and that meant taking the theory exam which I knew I was going to fail, so I threw a massive rebellion and gave up.
Some children find having a goal to push towards very helpful, others don't.

My DD was just the same and rather than kill her enjoyment her teacher and I agreed that she wouldn't do exams anymore - her teacher said that exams are only important if you are pursuing a career in that direction and instead she gives her a grade piece every now and then so she can say that she plays to a Grade "X" standard but most of the stuff she plays is more contemporary or pieces she likes. It works but I know not all teachers are so understanding

Presumably you're paying for her lessons - just tell the teacher you don't want her on the exam treadmill. There is loads of other repertoire she might enjoy playing a lot more than the exam pieces. And maybe some easier, fun pieces would make it enjoyable for her, rather than just a slog.

I think a lot of parents do want their children pushed through exams to the exclusion of anything else, and not all teachers agree with it by any means.
You might find the ABRSM forum informative - you will find it at abrsm.org. There's a teachers' thread where I think you'd find a lot of support.

At the risk of offending, I suspect that part of the issue is that the OP is currently in Malaysia where I gather music teachers are much more likely to focus on pushing children as quickly as possible through exams in the same way that I gather they do in other parts of the Far East. I haven't been to any of those countries so I'm sure this is a generalisation, but like most generalisations it will have some truth behind it.

The impression I get is that most teachers in England are much more relaxed about exams and that, where there is pressure to rush through exams, it usually comes from parents - and sometimes children - rather than teachers.

I therefore imagine that it will be relatively easy to find a suitable teacher, though I don't know the area in question.