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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU about Ginger Ninja?

59 replies

Hakky · 16/06/2014 18:18

My DS has beautiful, striking, ginger hair, I've consistently been very positive about his hair colour as I know it is a potential target for name calling. At school the male teachers have nicknames for the children, 'smithy' for a child called Smith, that kind of thing; except tonight my DS tells me one teacher calls him 'ginger ninja'...my son doesn't mind, but I'm just not happy, am I over-reacting? Should I say something?

OP posts:
redexpat · 16/06/2014 19:49

ginger ninja is the name of a danish band. i quite like them. Smile anyhow its better than ginger pubes, fire crotch, duracell head, tampon ...

cardibach · 16/06/2014 19:50

My dad was a primary head. One of his staff had nicknames for all the children in his classs. One year there was a child who was very shy and easily embarrassed, so he didn't give her a nickname. About 3 or 4 weeks into term, the kid was sobbing at home because 'Mr.X doesn't like me, he doesn't call me a silly name'. Nicknames can be inclusive as well as unkind - I think your DS's is one of the inclusive sort. Leave it be.

Rowgtfc72 · 16/06/2014 19:58

Dd is seven and we've always called her ginger ninja. She's recently started calling me ninja mummy. She's a redhead, has a good sense of humour and as a result doesn't bat an eyelid when someone calls her ginger because she's always been called ginger!

MammaTJ · 16/06/2014 20:00

I had ginger hair as a child sadly grey now and I got called all sorts but it was just part of being at school. Because I didn't get upset by it, it was just done in fun. I'm sure had I made a fuss though, it would have been used against me.

My two younger DC are ginger and as they are red belts in karate, have earnt 'Ginger Ninja'. They see it as a possitive thing.

Hakky · 16/06/2014 20:07

Hmmm...interesting feedback, thank you everybody, I think I'll watch and wait, leave it if DS is happy but raise it if there's any issue.
I have consistently used ginger names as terms of endearment in order to reinforce a positive self image, I don't think I was clear about that in my original post, but equally I am uneasy with the teacher referencing his hair colour.

OP posts:
dietcokeandcadburys · 16/06/2014 20:11

I think ginger ninja is probably one of the more mild ginger nicknames. My brother used to get called fanta pubes Grin

LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 16/06/2014 20:14

I refer to myself as a ginger ninja, I think its a cool name.

If he isn't the only one who has a nickname and is happy with it, then I think that's ok.

lifehasafunnywayofhelpinguout · 16/06/2014 21:26

iYes you should say something and no you're not over reacting. I can appriciate that the teacher means no upset and your d.s isn't upset. However get very very offended and peeved when people think it's fine to make jokes about a persons hair colour. I.M.O to make jokes should be as seen as bad as teasing/joking about skin colour. X

TheHorseHasBolted · 16/06/2014 21:49

Sorry but I feel quite strongly about this. I have ginger hair myself and my impression is that nobody makes fun of you because you have ginger hair, they make fun of you if you react entertainingly when they refer to your ginger hair. Your son is a good example of that: he likes his nickname, which is being used in a friendly way, and everyone can see it doesn't upset him when someone calls him that, so nobody would call him that in order to upset him. If someone didn't like him and wanted to tease him, they'd probably tease him about something else, because he's sending out signals that he won't react to that nickname.

On the other hand, I have known children with ginger hair who seemed to have been almost brought up to believe that they would be teased for it, so they interpreted any reference to the colour as teasing, got wound up or cried or told tales about it, so of course everybody did it more because their reaction was funny. I even met a boy once who started at a new school and actually went around telling everybody that he left his old school because everybody made fun of his hair. He might as well have worn a sign saying "If you want to push my buttons, talk about my hair." I've also met children who have been brought up to tell everyone their hair is not ginger, it's strawberry blonde - they are the ones who make me despair the most, because there's now a generation of children growing up to think ginger is a rude word, and I've had people tell me I'm not ginger, in a "don't put yourself down" sort of way, when it's a matter of empirical fact that I am, and it doesn't bother me in the slightest as long as people use the proper name for it and not some silly euphemism. (My mum, who was ginger herself, always used the word in a completely neutral way - hair was either dark, fair or ginger, and all three words were equally inoffensive to her.)

I have never had anything but positive comments about my hair, but when I was little people used to make fun of my surname and the fact that my first name was the same as a popular toy of the time (yes, my real name is Clackers Poopypants - or at least it might as well have been) and boy, did I respond in the wrong way. I made a huge fuss so of course the names stuck until I moved when I was 8. I did at least have the sense not to tell my new schoolmates what to tease me about!

Long story short, my advice would be to be pleased that your son sees his hair and his nickname as positive things, and not talk to him too much about his gingerness - it sounds as if he's taking it in his stride at the moment, and the less you give him reason to worry that people might be rude about it, the less likely he is to become sensitive about it. As long as he has that attitude, he's unlikely to be teased - and I definitely don't think the giving of the nickname is teasing in itself, though it would be if he'd made it clear he didn't like it and it was still being used.

ComposHat · 16/06/2014 22:03

I am surprised if they're playing football he's not been christened Scholesy.

I live in Scotland and when I go to England I am shocked at how few gingers there are knocking around. A friend from Orkney assured me that at school the non-ginger kids got bullied so think on the ground were the gingers.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 16/06/2014 22:05

I got called Fanta pants

whojamaflip · 16/06/2014 22:10

The school I went to had a dark navy uniform so in the first week of secondary school some wit christened me Duracell and do I remained until I left for Uni.

Didn't bother me - at least everyone knew who I was! Grin

PrincessBabyCat · 16/06/2014 22:19

My DB is a ginger and his nickname used to be Big Red. It never made him feel insecure about his hair color. Even now when we tease him about having no soul, he's still cool about it and joins in saying he earns a freckle for each soul he's stolen.

muttonjeffmum · 16/06/2014 22:25

My daughter is ginger, as is my god-daughter with whom she spends a lot of time. Me and my god-daughter's mum refer to them collectively as the Gingers. When my DD started High School her friend was in year 9 and everyone asked if they were sisters because they walk together. Some boys have tried to tease my DD calling her Ginger but she doesn't rise to it and just says yes I am - what do you want? I think they have got fed up now because she doesn't react.
We have always told both of them how lucky and beautiful they are.

lljkk · 16/06/2014 22:30

It rhymes & it celebrates his hair colour (because Ninjas are wicked).

NoodleOodle · 16/06/2014 22:31

Where we used to live there where a pair of ginger haired children who chose the nickname ginger ninjas for themselves. I wouldn't worry about it unless you DS seems to get worried.

YourDaughterHasaTattoo · 16/06/2014 22:37

I call my son blonde bombshell and my daughter ginger nut. They are meant affectionately because I love their hair colours. So long as the feeling behind it is positive it's fine with me!

MyLatest · 16/06/2014 22:39

Ginger ninja is a lovely nickname. As long as he is happy let it be.

andsmile · 16/06/2014 22:41

If your DS is happy then where is the problem? if he is unhappy then it is a problem - this is more about your perception of other people perception.

kslatts · 16/06/2014 23:26

I think if he is happy with the nickname, there isn't a problem. My dds wouldn't mind being given a nickname by the teacher, but would be mortified if I went in to the school over it.

DramaAlpaca · 16/06/2014 23:49

If your DS isn't bothered by it, I wouldn't say anything. You say it's just in sports classes, and I gather (from my sons) that nicknames are a normal way of addressing team mates & that it's part of male camaraderie/bonding. Sports teachers use them as well as students. If it's hurtful, that's a different matter of course.

I was very impressed by the approach to nicknames at the all boys secondary school my nephew goes to. On their first day, the first years were all asked to introduce themselves to each other and tell the other students the nicknames they didn't mind being known by. It was made clear that the nicknames they liked were the only ones that were acceptable to use. I thought it was great that the school recognises that boys will refer to each other by nicknames, but insists that no boy should be called by a nickname they don't like.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 17/06/2014 07:52

I wouldn't like it as it gives kids licence to say it as well and maybe not in the way the teacher intended.

KittyandTeal · 17/06/2014 08:04

I'd say that's a pretty cool nickname. Sounds like he's trying to help your son be confident about his hair colour by teaming it with something ultimately cool to 7 yo boys.

I'm desperately trying to boost a girl in my class' confidence about her ginger (or strawberry blonde as we now call it) hair. I cool nickname incorporating her hair colour would be great, we can't think of anything for a 10yo girl though!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 17/06/2014 08:12

There is strawberry blonde and my niece has it. Very much lighter than the paprika colour of my side of the family.

I didn't realise that freckles indicated the number of souls we'd devoured though.

Lagoonablue · 17/06/2014 08:17

I think it's a ok as long as your son doesn't mind. It's quite a cool name. Paul scholars had that nickname was a top class footballer so am sure your son quote likes it.

It is a positive NN.

Wouldn't worry. More likely to cause upset for all if you complain.