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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not keep offering my ex-husband contact with our daughter?

1 reply

NeeNawNora · 16/06/2014 13:22

Our daughter is 7 and we've been separated since she was a baby. Ex-husband had very little to do with her when we were married but has always been concerned with his rights to her. He's seen her minimal amounts (2 nights per month) since then though I've offered midweek and school holiday contact too. He's taken her out for tea very rarely.

His gf has chicken pox, dd hasn't had it and neither have I. I'm 26 weeks pregnant so obviously it isn't great for me to catch it so I cancelled his scheduled nights contact as he wasn't prepared to do so or swap. Rather than respond by giving alternative dates or rearranging he's had a go at me then gone quiet. I could keep contacting him offering alternatives but he is pretty poor with dd and she looked visibly relieved when I cancelled contact.

I'm guessing his next step will be taking me to court as his parents will fund it but feel like I shouldn't have to keep offering dd out, that if he'd like contact then he should contact me. If he was great with dd or she asked to see him I might think differently, but that isn't the case. Aibu to leave him to contact me?

OP posts:
Forbes12 · 16/06/2014 13:51

Congrats on the pregnancy :)
I joined this morning and had a similar rant and I feel like you 6 years ago! You are looking out for the interests of the health of your family and had every right to cancel him seeing her on that occasion.
Let him go to court, you shouldn't have to chase him to want to see his daughter.
Ive been making records of the contact my one year olds father and what he has (or hasn't as the case is) contributed financially.
It's sad that there are men out there who want to see their children and the ex partner stops them but it is your responsibility to do what is best for your daughter

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