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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To LET my girls dress the same?

17 replies

HalloweenDuck · 15/06/2014 15:07

I have 3 children, dd1 has just turned 9, ds is 6.5 and dd2 is 5.5.
They are all very close and good kids most of the time.
dd1 was always very big for her age and dd2 was always tiny. So they never really crossed into the same age brackets in clothes shops. We went to Florida 3 years ago and before we went I got about 5 items of clothing for the girls that matched. They adored wearing them the same on holiday and after during that summer.
Since then they always asked for matching clothes for holiday, I was happy to go with this and for the last 2 years they had matching tops/ dresses.
They always had the choice to wear them at the same time and often had different shoes/ hair styles/ hats etc.

So last 2 weeks in this gorgeous weather we have dug last years summer clothes out. ( neither really grown so a lot of last years still fit)

They have asked to match a lot recently, including hair styles.
Now I have been happy to go with this and not thought anything of it.
But we have had 3 comments from people,
1 stranger asked how dd1 how much I had paid her to match her little sister,
1 friend asked whose idea it was.
and my MIL was shocked at their ages they still wanted to. ( love MIL so no bashing please)

Now each time my girls have replied that they chose etc.

On Friday the children performed at a local event and after all the children put on their uniform tops to go around the fete etc. My girls included loved the fact they were all walking around with their friends matching and so did most of the other kids.

Made me realise that sometimes, kids just like to match etc.
However they are asking to get matching party dresses now ( both need new ones any way) and part of me wants to allow it, knowing it will not last for much longer, but part of me wants to encourage separate dresses just so they don't get commented on behind their backs!

So aibu to allow the girls to match??

OP posts:
kinkyfuckery · 15/06/2014 15:10

Just leave them to it if that's what they want, and it's fitting with the situation. After all, they're encouraged to wear a similar uniform at school so it's probably natural for them to dress similarly outside of school.

HayDayQueen · 15/06/2014 15:14

YANBU, but you're right, it's tough.

I've gone shopping sometimes and I only find 1 of something I like, and I wonder whether I should only buy 1 of my DSs the item or buy it for both of them.

They also like matching each other sometimes, and I just think 'fuck it - let 'em'. No one has ever made a comment about it. Maybe because it's polo tops its different? And boys all tend to look the same when dressed up in suits anyway, so maybe its not as noticeable for men/boys.

You can, sometimes, get matching but just a bit different? Same sort of dress in different colours, or different dresses in the same colour.

But...I was the youngest of several sisters, and my DM would get the same outfit for all of us for special occasions, and as we made the most of hand me downs, I had to wear the same dress for years on end, was a bit boring I had to say!

HayDayQueen · 15/06/2014 15:15

Oh and my cousin and I LOVED matching clothes when we were growing up....

Hmmm, had forgotten all about that, actually. Must have driven our mothers batty.

BikeRunSki · 15/06/2014 15:16

My mum used to make my younger sister and I match. I don't think it was control freakery, just lack of imagination. I hated it, as there is not a single colour or style in the world that suits fair and dumpy (me) and dark and lanky (sister).

But if your girls enjoy it, why not?

Only1scoop · 15/06/2014 15:18

Yanbu....they seem to enjoy it.

OutragedFromLeeds · 15/06/2014 15:20

YANBU let them wear what they want.

I'm with MIL on the surprise front though. Nothing whatsoever wrong with it, it's just not my experience. DC1 would rather chew off her own arm than dress the same as a 5 year old.

fatlazymummy · 15/06/2014 15:21

Of course you can let them, if that's what they want. I wouldn't even see this as an issue.

PigeonPie · 15/06/2014 15:26

It doesn't just happen with girls. My DSs who are two years apart (8 and 6) often choose to wear the same t-shirts and jumpers.

They get given matching clothes by elderly aunts etc, but I don't mind. I don't decide what they wear - they do - and it doesn't bother me what they wear really.

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 15/06/2014 15:27

YANBU there's nothing wrong an people should MTOB

PrincessBabyCat · 15/06/2014 15:51

They'll grow out of it. In the mean time, let them use this as their time to bond. I had a cousin I admired that I copied everything for, and eventually grew into my own person. I had a baby cousin that copied me and she too grew into her own person.

It's really only the adults that are making comments. Other kids aren't the ones that think these things are strange.

ILovedYouYesterday · 15/06/2014 16:52

My sister and I used to love dressing the same, although there is only 22 months between us and she was almost the same size as me by the time we were about 8 and 6, we used to love it if people asked if we were twins Grin

At some point I started to dislike it and wanted to be the eldest and do things first and it would really annoy me if she had similar things to me! I expect your eldest will just naturally start to do her own thing, probably fairly soon and, as long as you give them the choice, there is no problem.

(My Granny once bought me, sis and small cousin the same outfits for Christmas - sadly there was 8 years between me and cousin and, while she looked very sweet, I looked ridiculous in all the photos that year!)

JoeyMaynardsghost · 15/06/2014 17:28

Not a problem while the girls enjoy dressing the same. As a child I hated my younger sister wearing the same clothes as me but that was just me. She loved it.

Ignore any comments - it's what your children want to do that matters.
I bet it will change once your older daughter gets closer to going to secondary school!

ILoveCoreyHaim · 15/06/2014 17:34

My mil always dressed my dds the same and still tried to now. Loved it when they were younger but now they are older they go out of their way not to match or match DD3. 1&2 have very different styles now anyway so there's no way they would to choose the same clothes. MIL seems to have stopped after they refused the same dresses for a wedding

YoureAllABunchOfBastards · 15/06/2014 17:38

There's two years between my boys. Every so often they are matching - Christmas jumpers, pyjamas - or dressed to a theme, like both in band t-shirts. They love it and I think they look ace. Today they are in matching football themed shirts. They are 7 and 5 and dead pleased.

PigeonPie · 15/06/2014 20:45

My two were thrilled the other day when the realised that not only were they wearing matching t-shirts, but matching pants (all completely random)!

popmimiboo · 15/06/2014 20:46

YANBU at all. My girls sometimes wore matching dresses when they were smaller and still love to have matching hairstyles (at 12 and 8.) Last year, in Florida, I bought them and DS, t-shirts in the converse shop, different colours but same logo and they all insisted on wearing them the next day. They also still all like to have the same tribord rash vests on the beach. (I always let them choose and have never encouraged nor discouraged this.) Oh, matching flip flops too!
I think they like to see themselves as a team sometimes. Especially on holiday. No problem in my opinion.

GreenPetal94 · 15/06/2014 20:55

If they enjoy it why not. My second son loves pass-ons from his brother for a similar reason.

I do fondly remember my mum making me and my sister summer dresses from the same material.

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