to be unsure about whether to send DD on this sleepover?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Dd is 2 1/2, and has only ever slept over at her grandparents (on both sides).

Her aunt has asked to have her overnight next week. The aunt has a son the same age. She wants to take them to the cinema and bring her back mid morning the following day.

Dd has never gone with Aunt alone ever, yet, so I am wary of her staying overnight there. I have the following concerns and want to know if IBU for any of them

(1) dd has never spent alone time with aunt or her boyfriend before
(2) I would need to go an put my car seat in their car. Am a total nutjob about carseats and hate hate dd beig in a car without me (probs irrational, and I dont mean me driving, just dont like her being in a car without me)
(3) what happens if she needs the loo in the cinema - id want Aunt to take her to the loo, not the boyfriend but then if aunt takes her son, dd will be left with the boyfriend (nothing against him, bit shes only met him twice
(4) boyfriend is staying at aunts (see above re how much dds met him
(5) I dont allow dd to have fizzy drinks (I know, what I dont know wont hurt me) but aunt will think nothing of letting her son have a taste of her Relentless or a glass of diet coke or a taste of a beer
(6) There is no bed for dd there. I have a small inflatable, and could supply that if needed, but its not ideal
(7) My gut is just saying no

Sorry, now ive written it down I can see Im probably BU but I dont know.....

If it helps I wouldnt let my dsis have dd overnight as they dont really know one another well (my sis lives abroad so I mean on the times she is home).

Thank you, everyone. Nice to have a unanamous YANBU

Just says she's been unsettled/clingy the last few nights to avoid any confrontation. You are trying to get her into a better routine or something

No, I wouldn't be happy with that.

cars id rather not lie. If I do decide to go with my gut (which thanks to you lot I am swaying towards) then I will say "thanks but no, to staying over, but if you want to do.something with her for a few hours, fine".

I wouldn't even consider it.
She's too young.
She doesn't know the adults.
Why would you say yes?

Just tell them she wakes up all night long and will drive them nuts, but you'd love to join them at the cinema the next day (although not sure I'd bother taking two 2.5 yr olds to cinema!)

I don't get the need some people have for 2 year olds to have sleepovers (babysitting emergency situations understandable but surely adults don't call that sleepovers when talking to other adults)

why can they not go for a play in the park and an ice-cream instead I am sure the kids will enjoy that much more?

short answer no YANBU your child your rules!!

No way would I be sending my 2.5 yo to a sleepover unless it was at his grandmas. They're still babies at this age! Apart from all the rest of your (completely valid) c

Personally I don't see the point of the cinema either for a two and a half year old. Surely that is really young and she wouldn't particularly like it? Especially with people she doesn't know very well.

I would say no to everything. Thanks but no thanks, perhaps when she is older. The end. Good luck dealing with it.

Oops! Concerns, I'd frankly be shitting myself at the idea if his sleep patterns getting disturbed!

YANBU. She gives her 2.5 yo Relentless and beer?!

I'm pretty relaxed about most things, but in whose world is that acceptable?!

Why does she even want your DD to stay over? It's too much, and she is imposing on you to ask. Just say no. If she has a problem with it, it is genuinely her problem, not yours.

I agree not to lie to her though, just storing up trouble for yourself for the future. Just say she's too young to stay with people she doesn't know really well.

^^ If that's the truth, that is!

This is it. Id never ask to have nephew that long and overnight as he is too little for it to be something exciting to do. Id of course have him to stay if she needed, but he, again, wpuld go to grandparents first.

Taking two 2yo's to the cinema...sounds interesting.

Just say no. I think if you really needed childcare for some reason, then yes, but not under these circumstances.

Her primary carer, the one who best understands her needs, gets the final say.

I had to read OP several times to make sure I had it right. She is 2and a half- I wouldn't even take her to the cinema! Go with your gut feeling and don't do it.

I'd just say that you've tried the cinema and she's still too little for it as she stands up / wants to leave / doesn't get (lay on a bit thick if necessary) and you figured you'd give her another year or so before going again as it just wasn't worth it. And that she's too little for overnights away with people she doesn't know very well. So maybe how about meeting up to play one day instead.

If you say that you'd never dream of asking dn to stay overnight - with my cynical hat on I reckon she might be asking you to do this so that she can ask you to have dn back at some point when she wants an overnight's free babysitting. Maybe her boyfriend wants to take her on a weekend away... And she knows that if you wouldn't normally ask dn to stay then she is forcing your hand...

She has plenty of overnight sitters avaliable to her - her mum, sister, nephews dad (who has him.most weekends). I dont think theres abythig behind it other than wanting to be a fun auntie.

Ive explained my misgivings to DH who, aa expected, just went with the opinion that DD wpuld enjoy it as so we should do it. That why should my "no" overrule his "yes"

Once I took it down to the bare bones and said that irrelevant to anything else, I dont feel comfortable with it, and no parent should be made to make a decision they werent comfortable with - that if there was something he wasnt happy about dd doing I would suppprt that.

Its not "no" to a sleepover with her cousin, its a "not yet"

Do 2.5 year olds go to the cinema? I don't think I took DS at that age, I doubt he would have been able to sit still long enough!!