To make a complaint to nursery about this......

[AmazingMorning]

My DD (4yrs) started acting a bit odd on a night time recently. She couldn't go to sleep without her lamp on and the passage light on (she's normally fine with her lamp) and got very upset when it come to going to sleep because everything was too dark and she slowly became terrified (now we have monster away mist and half a dozen teddies on the bed to guard her as she sleeps too).
At first me and DH thought she might of seen something on tv that was playing on her mind or maybe someone had said something that has troubled her. It slowly got worse so we asked her key worker at nursery to have a talk with her (as we had already tried to talk to her about it all but she wouldn't tell us anything and would burst into tears).
While picking our DD up I spoke to a different member of staff and explained what was going on with DD and if the key worker had spoken to her.
The other member of staff casually said "oh that might be linked to the shed incident" - I had to ask for her to explain further as she wasn't willing too. She then explained to me how a group of the kids in DDs group were taking turns locking each other in the shed and they didn't let my DD out.
The member of staff had to and my DD was crying. When I pushed for answers e.g Why didn't you stop them? etc she brushed it off like I was making a big deal out of nothing. This has obviously affected her more than they thought as I mentioned it to DD when we got home and she told us she was really scared and she didn't want to go back to nursery. According to DD a girl locked her in on purpose. It wasn't a game.

I'm not really sure what I should do. It's not a school led nursery and she goes 3 afternoons a week 1pm-6pm. We are considering taking her out all together as this hasn't been the first time we have had an issue. AIBU to make a complaint? No one told me about this incident and DD has obviously took it all to heart. There is also the issue of them not allowing DD to have a drink of water during the day (which we have already complained about previously). Any advice would be great. Sorry this is sooo long.

Yes pull her out, enjoy these last few months out of the system.

Write a letter of complaint with the resignation telling them why & copy it in to the manager, school head that it's attached to and OFSTED.

Appalling behaviour.

Ah poor mite. It is so commen at this age to be scared if the dark anyway without the incident she went through. Stupid people.

I would just keep cuddling, reassuring, night lights or twinkly lights and as most posters have already said take her out.

My dd is 15 and is literally petrified of the dark after a trauma. So we just go with it and her room has twinkly lights in all night. What else can you do.

You mustn't play into her fears though, you're doing more harm than good. She didn't invent monster mist did she? That came from you. Why would mummy and daddy give you monster mist if there were no monsters?! They wouldn't! Therefore there must be monsters...

Agree with outraged
Don't mention the incident. Move on and she will forget it.
It seems raw now but she will get over it very quickly.
Tpu probably feel understandably guilty but you shouldn't
But do make sure you male a complaint to Ofsted
You can do it online

Call OFSTED. I certainly would. They should have stepped in and informed you after. I would not leave my DD there after that!

It had play equipment in it and the kids are encouraged to get the stuff out and put it all back. There is supposed to be two adults outside with the kids.

Regards the shed. Usually these places have piles if bykes/ scooters etc which are heavy and stacked. Suprised the children are allowed in there as that's do dangerous.

The lack of water is disgraceful.

Sorry to be the voice of doom, but my DD had a similar incident, aged seven. We were still seeing strong repercussions when she was 13. Even now, at 16 she still talks about it.
Please report them.

Mmm children that are shouldn't be putting things like bykes back into a aged without adult help. One should be in there helping them while the other outside.

Anyway normal proceedure is all toys out that are coming out and then tidy up time at the end of the session not going in and out like that. Badly organised.

We have a shed. It has play equipment in which the children can access themselves
The doors cannot be closed by the children as we hook them open and they can't be closed by anyone unless they are unhooked by an adult

Outraged I understand what your saying. Same with Insancerre. We won't talk about it infront of her and my dad will be watching her when we go in on Monday. She's had the spray from being about two as a psychological thing - We don't call it monster away spray/monster mist (I used that term as some Mumsnetters may have heard of it). We call it moon spray and she normally sleeps better if she can smell it. (less nightmares and getting up during the night etc)

Migrant agree unfortunately some incidents are so terrifying they will never be forgotten, just managed.

We had a shed for all our bikes etc. Adults got them out for the children and then the shed was locked. The children helped to put them away by bringing them to the shed but not inside.

Good luck with the meeting on Monday. Don't let them fob you off. Try to put it on writing. By law they have to keep all written complaints and show them to ofsted if they ask
Also can you talk to the new school teacher about jet anxieties, its the sort of thing they need to know.

I wouldn't send her back there and I would put in a complaint to the nursery manager, Ofsted and the council if its a funded place.

I agree with the other posters, the water thing is unacceptable and the locking in a shed downright dangerous.

insancerre yes do presumably you can see the inside of the shed at all times and can see what's going on. That's safe and a good compromise.

She'll recover quicker if you minimise her fear. The temptation can be to 'over sympathise', but really all you're doing is telling them there is something to be scared of. Obviously you need to comfort her and sympathise with her, but take a 'it must have been very scary, but you know you wouldn't have been left in their too long because Mrs X would have been looking for you' type approach.

Thanks Outraged I do think I can over sympathize sometimes. I'm just so angry about what has happened and how much it has affected our DD.

Seriously both incidents totally unacceptable and would see the manager and contact Ostead about them, especially the water, very bad and dangerous especially in this hot weather. meanwhile withdraw your dd and look somewhere else!

If you are in the situation where you can take her out, I would. I'd also be making it clear in a written complaint as to why you are.

I would definitely take her out! Dd's nursery has a water machine and the older ones get their own! As for the shed incident, that should not be happening. It sounds bad and I would be making formal complaints to ofsted.

If as you say you are a sahm and DD is due to start school in September, then I would withdraw her and phone Ofstead in the morning. That is an appalling standard of care. I wouldn't leave an animal anywhere there wasn't access to water and the shed incident is horrifying - and the fact you weren't told points to a culture of not telling parents about issues. Not OK.

As others have already said there is absolutely no way that in a properly run nursery would small children be locking others in a shed, completely in comprehensible, standards must be very poor and as for the water again that displays extraordinary poor care, take your child out most definitely and contact Ofsted!