To take down the trampoline?

[dripty]

My DB kindly gave me a fantastic 12ft trampoline which my 3 DCs love.
However they all seem to have no respect whatsoever for all the back breaking work I am doing trying to make the garden less of an eyesore.
They have managed to trash the garden gate by not shutting it properly and just slamming it to. The plants in the beds have been crushed by their footballs, bikes scooters etc.
I put some grass seed down this morning. This afternoon DS2 has tipped a tin of paint over the lawn and the new seed.
I am so angry about their lack of respect towards my efforts that I have told them I will remove the trampoline so they have no reason to go in the garden anymore.
AIBU?

And don't forget to have family fun nights too. Maybe pizza ( ( cheap made or brought) and a DVD. Cuddle up under duvets and chill. Or family games night? Just to touch base and have fun.

'accidently' break it like they did your plants

sam disagree. Adults shouldn't act like spiteful children.

The ops children have been through a parental
Split. The family needs to come together not blast further apart.

"My dh had both of our dss at various times up against the wall by their t shirts for disrespecting me, and nothing as bad as that.

I shudder to think what he would have done if he had heard them calling me that. Good grief."

Er- and you're saying this is a good male role model for growing boys? Jesus wept.

Hi Hakluyt yes my dh have brought up 4 kids age ranging from now 24,23,15 and 14.

I have no idea if you have children or how old they are but anyway let me tell you that the best of kids actually do push the boundaries and do need sometime to understand who is in charge.

Up against the wall was not a slap or punch but a controlled ' what the hell do you think you are doing' moment.

I suggest that you stop criticising me and start helping the op. As I have tried to do.

And btw my lads now both have degrees and are sharing a beer with their dad watching the footi.

My teen dds are doing great too despite the older one being badly injured in a crash.

So respectfully please take your jesus wept and fuck off dear.

Okay I didn't intend to cause an argument here.
The atmosphere before the split was a lot worse than it is now as DH is not around all the time.
I think his attitude towards me had a big influence on how the DCs view me so I need to completely change how they see me ( cook, maid service, doormat).

Well, let's hope their experience ensures that they never have their sons "up against the wall by their t shirts" and we do something about breaking the cycle of male violence that sadly we live with in this country. And their partners neve have to "shudder to think" what they might do if the "up against the wall by the t shirt" technique doesn't work.

Op have you tried family therapy? Councelling? We had help after dds accident and it was wonderful for her and us too. Dreadful time.

Your dcs and you have also had hard times. It's out there if you can access it.

PM me if you need any info as on here it's open to a great source of wonderful mumsnetters, they helped us when we needed it, but unfortunately there are others online who love to wound and hurt. Best ignored.

Yes stop being a doormat, and a good technique is when you feel shouts, to be completely silent.

As you have the influence of the father bearing down on you, have you thought of parenting classes, to learn some new techniques?

OP if you carry out your threats, and try to be consistent, then you are doing the right things. Know I shout too much, and can see it in my DC's behaviour.

Given the recent split, some family therapy may help. Consider it.