To be tired of competing

[Blossum123]

I have a younger sister who I love very much .she has just graduated as a solicitor .
Out parents always encouraged competion .i had quite a successful job in their eye for a while but it didn't make me happy .
Me and my husband although liking nice things are happy with I guess a slower pace of living .
They tend to treat me like I'm a bit stupid at times explaining the obvious - it's very irritating. There is a job I fancy applying for but it's a very low level job I'm worried what my family will say and others will think as it appears to be a massive step back .
Little things upset such as when talking about her will my parents said my sister is the executor of will ( despite her living 200 miles away and been younger)
I'm happy with my life but can't help feeling I fall short

I left a very stressful job quite a few months ago - it made me v ill . I have interviews for other jobs but this appeals as it isn't stressful .

I would say there are a lot of people who don't use their degree in every job they have, and even if they do, their job won't necessarily be related to the subject they did it in.

It's never a waste to do a degree because it's about so much more than just the subject.

The fact that you've chosen to work in a shop now doesn't mean you're always going to do that, or that you won't find something else you fancy doing in 5/10/15 years time.

Don't give anyone the opening to be negative about it by the way you talk about the job. If you're positive and looking forward to it they might be less likely to say something than if you're almost apologetic or seem a bit unsure and looking to them to reassure you everything will be OK.

If they do spout crap just brush it off as unimportant, because it is nothing to do with anyone else.

Is your friend genuinely worried about you do you think?

I'm struggling to put it into words, but almost along the lines of "oh well if everyone thinks I'm rubbish and could never be as great as sister then there's no point even trying".

And really, I am not saying working in a shop is a bad thing - millions of people do it. And your health is the main thing. It's just the timing strikes me as significant, with your sister having just qualified in a profession. I might be talking complete arse of course!

I can see what you're saying Blindly, but could the reason for it be not because she sees no point trying but because she wants to avoid the inevitable confrontation/pressure WWIII when she tells them to fuck off and mind their own

I'm struggling to understand anyone thinking they have the right to challenge the OP on what she's decided to do. Fair enough if they're concerned about her, but purely from a 'is she where she should be in her career' just oversteps the line.

Yes agree agent - no-one's business but Op's. I'm just conscious of the weird dynamics families can have and how siblings can slip into defined roles.

Iv been away from my old job a good few months but am choosing not to go back

I think Blossum that the alternative, living your life according to other people's expectations, rather than being true to your own needs and desires, would be a real tragedy, as opposed to 'wasting' your degree or intelligence on a job perceived (by others) as below you for your own mental and emotional health.

Why do u think it's self sabotage to take this I'm not currently working - yes iv been offered other higher

Add message | Report | Message poster Blindlyshining Sat 14-Jun-14 22:50:04
Yes agree agent - no-one's business but Op's. I'm just conscious of the weird dynamics families can have and how siblings can slip into defined roles.
U at right I'm often thinking I can't cope but I don't know if I could manage the other x