Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask as school summer fair and fete season starts

104 replies

NynaevesSister · 14/06/2014 08:35

You volunteer to help, if you can of course, with the fair/fete at your school? I would say, put your name forward, be clear about what you can do/time you can do, and finish when you said you were going to.

But please so pitch in, even if to run a stall for an hour. Maybe the fair looks chaotic, maybe a few stressed people don't necessarily seem friendly on the day! But please don't let it put you off. Children love getting to do something in their school that isn't actual school, and the money raised does help. Especially these days.

OP posts:
Nerf · 14/06/2014 11:48

Yes and when your official Facebook page says people should feel ashamed for not helping out it's not exactly encouraging.

Canthisonebeused · 14/06/2014 11:50

Can I just put it out there, if the PTA of most schools made helping out a little more assess able and inclusive to all, I for one would be more inclined to help out.

As it stands now and for many schools out their the type of people involved are often not the gracious people I would chose to become involved with.

I can't abide the holier that's now attitude to PTA activities.

5madthings · 14/06/2014 11:52

Yes I made dp come along and watch the madthings, tbh school fetes are his idea of hell! But the kids enjoyed it and he did it because he is their parent as well and sometimes as a parent you do stuff you don't like and you suck it up.

These things are fun for the kids and raise money for the school and are good for the community, our fete was attended by parents if current pupils, old pupils now at high school, parents whose kids start in Sept, lots of local residents and pcsos and even local councillors came along and helped out. We get sponsors from local businesses etc and it's a real community event.

Whilst I was setting up the children could see the rides arriving and stalls etc, each class had their own stall and they were so excited and the children helped as well. It's fun for them and a God experience, imo seeing the kids have so much fun is what makes it worthwhile.

I can't always help due to my partners shifts and having my own children but when I can I do whether it's baking or donating or giving up my time, every little bit helps and the more people pitch in the easier it is.

Oh and our fete has a bar, that pimms was very nice when helping!

5madthings · 14/06/2014 11:57

Our pta tries to be inclusive, fb page and meetings in the day or the being (a mix so we can cater to all). It can be hard to join in I agree but our school tries really hard to be inclusive, coffee mornings for New parents,meetings at the pub. Event for kids and some for parents and some for families, siblings welcome etc.

You will never please everybody, but they try hard!

Vinomum · 14/06/2014 11:59

I'm not a member of my DCs PTA because I don't have the time to commit to doing it properly, but I happily help out when I can at summer and Christmas fairs, quiz nights, etc and I genuinely enjoy it. It's a lovely atmosphere and a great opportunity to meet kids, parents and teachers in a nice relaxed setting. Not a shred of martyrdom about it for me Smile

lljkk · 14/06/2014 12:07

I once posted a long list of all the things that had upset me in trying to help our PTA & I was told I was an idiot to keep trying. I've got 4 kids in 3 schools & work 30 hours/week, I need downtime too.

I'm helping out with a fundraiser for DS's ATC group this month & next.
I helped run forest school one session 8 days ago.
So it's not like I never do anything.

Problem with the PTA is one of the women who has been at the heart of the group is a cow, I'm far from only person who thinks so. I can't stomach having to interact with her. She bitches a lot About people who don't help, which is part of what makes people pin her down as a cow. Arrgh.

I might venture to join in again in 15 months when I know her youngest has finished.

Nocomet · 14/06/2014 12:12

For me the PTA was the only way of breaking into the village 'clique'. It was my way of finding out 'What the Fuck was going on'. When DD1 started school the notes were awful. Vital details missing, you were expected to know.

I'm not local, DD1 was my PFB and I don't live in the village.

Thus,I joined the PTA purely out of self interest. However, over the years amongst it's costs and irritations, I had fun, even DH had fun, doing logistical stuff he's very good at and we made some money for the DDs to have fun.

I don't think that's a bad thing. Or something that people should look down their noses at.

Nocomet · 14/06/2014 12:14

Lljkk, there I feel your pain, if a certain woman had ever had a major PTA role, not helping at the edges I would have left instantly.

Frontier · 14/06/2014 12:22

I do loads of volunteering for several different organisations. I happen to think that they are all better causes than the school fayre .

And IME well run schools are not short of money and a lot of PTA money is spent on "status" items that the school neither need or want. Yes, I really do know the in and outs if the finances at several schools having worked as a auditor for the LA.

JohnCusacksWife · 14/06/2014 12:22

I really don't recognise the "queen bee" descriptions of PTA/PC helpers. The people (mums and dads) on our PC are all friendly, helpful people trying to do their bit to help their kids school including me. Unfortunately we do really struggle to get people to help with events - it's always the same old faces every time.

Of course there should be no compulsion to help but if you don't help then please don't moan about how things are done. If you could do it better then roll up your sleeves and get stuck in. Put up or shut up!

JohnCusacksWife · 14/06/2014 12:24

Frontier, that's interesting. Because after salaries the budget our HT is left with is pitiful. There is not a hope in hell we could afford the "extras" that so enhance our kids educational experience...smart boards, theatre groups or sports equipment etc...without the funds raised by the PC. It just wouldn't be possible.

Frontier · 14/06/2014 12:58

Make so John but it's the HT's job to manage salaries as p art of his budget too. That said most HTs are very practised at leading their staff to believe there's less money than there actually is.

The school I'm currently working qt has max class size 28, a full complement of playground equipment, smartboards in every clasroom, specialist drama group in 4 afternoons pw and specialist sports coaches runningclubs after school which are free to parents and no PTA at all

SapphireMoon · 14/06/2014 13:19

Some people just love bitching about the PTA, those that volunteer, governors etc.
I hope hard working few at our primary not seeing nasty threads on Mumsnet at the moment.
Playground bullies out in force it seems.

Original poster
NynaevesSister · 14/06/2014 14:24

So what if you can't stand the other parents on the PTA. You don't have to talk to them to spend a couple if hours running Hook a Duck or selling cakes. It's for the kids not the adults. I just don't get that attitude.

Am hugely surprised that some people's idea of martyrdom is my OP.

Loving how many people are posting about what a lot of fun they have helping out.

OP posts:
I8toys · 14/06/2014 14:30

Isn't there another epic thread re this topic that has been running for days now - seriously move on.

Original poster
NynaevesSister · 14/06/2014 14:32

There is? I haven't seen it. Do you have a link?

OP posts:
lljkk · 14/06/2014 14:35

Not nice, Nyna. Poor advert for joining.

I8toys · 14/06/2014 14:35

Cant do the link thing- but its entitled to not want to get involved school life. The classic bun fight between those who volunteer and those that hate the PTA.

Clutterbugsmum · 14/06/2014 14:58

YABU.

After helping organise and on the day for the last 2 christmas and summer faryes and not had a word of thank you from the school then sorry this year they can take a running jump.

CardiffUniversityNetballTeam · 14/06/2014 15:14

I work full time, but I help out at school events etc when I can. I think it is important as a general rule in life to give something back.

I am trying to teach DS that you get out of life what you put into it. I think that if, as a family we enjoy going to school fetes, discos and such, that occasionally, when time permits, we should help out so others can share in that enjoyment.

Vinomum · 14/06/2014 15:17

Well said Cardiff

Gorja · 14/06/2014 15:28

With four kids in primary school my purse is constantly open for donations to this and that, sponsorship for this and that, donations for discos, fetes etc, contributions to class trips, book week donations etc etc ( they want £290 for a school trip next year..... They can jog on I can have a family holiday for not much more but I can't because if I take them out for a holiday I will get fined..... Go figure )

I attend for school dinners, VIP days, school plays, parents evenings, sports days etc.

I also, and this really grates, pay lots of money each year to buy kids their uniforms only to have to pay at least once a month for them not to wear the uniform.

I also work full time so if they think I am going to the trouble of finding somebody to look after them so I can stand behind a stall and take even more money from parents who have already contributed as detailed above they have another think coming and I am not wasting a precious day off taking the kids to buy/win overpriced second hand rubbish that will go in the bin once we get home.

Schools should concentrate on teaching children, not wasting time with all the fundraising. Let me set up a direct debit for £5 per month for each child and quit with the incessant demands.

DamnBamboo · 14/06/2014 15:45

Wow gorga you sound lovely.

You do realise you don't have to pay for non-uniform day if you don't want to.

The LA are the ones that fine parents for taking kids out.

Has it occured to you that your kids might actually enjoy helping out behind a stall? My three love it.

And if you think it's a big deal to go to school play and sports day (which presumably your children are in) and want recognition for going to parents evening, you've got this parenting lark all wrong I think.

The PTA fundraises, not the school and it doesn't detract from their teaching time as they generally don't do it.

Anything else that you need a bit of clarity?

DamnBamboo · 14/06/2014 15:46

And if you weren't buying them uniform, presumably you would be buying them clothes anyway.
You do realise you need to clothe your children.

Supermarket uniform is cheap as chips!

Bowlersarm · 14/06/2014 15:48

Yanbu.

It's all very tedious. Getting people to actually help out that is.

All the kids I know love their school fairs, and parents need to pitch in to ensure they continue.