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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Entitlement or neighbourliness?

28 replies

Aoifebelle · 14/06/2014 08:06

Couple in flat down stairs are v security conscious.they have an alarm installed, have increased the height of side wall, had security doors put in etc. They are currently away. DP works weekends and last night got woken at about 3am by call from neighbour. Their alarm system alerts them to disturbance remotely, they asked him to go and check it out. AIBU to think that if you have this type of system, you need to pay a security company to do the checking, not rely on waking neighbours up in the middle of the night? DP not that bothered. Am I mean?

OP posts:

SpicyPear · 14/06/2014 08:09

Noooo yanbu. That's ridiculous. May be texting to say could you have a nose but not waking in the middle of the night. Did they ask your DP whether he was happy to do this before they went away?

CrohnicallyExhausted · 14/06/2014 08:11

If it were me, I'd have phoned the police non-emergency number and asked them if they could have a look.

TypicaLibra · 14/06/2014 08:12

If they've had this system for years and years, and it's the very first time it's happened then maybe YAB a little U, but if it's a very recent thing, and it goes off fairly often, day and night, then YANBU. Some burglar alarm thingy systems seem ridiculously over-sensitive.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 14/06/2014 08:13

That is a bloody cheek!

Did DP go and look?

SixImpossible · 14/06/2014 08:14

During normal waking hours, OK, but not at night.

Original poster

Aoifebelle · 14/06/2014 08:18

It is a new system, and there was no discussion before they went. He did check, but the place is like fort knox so the only thing we can check is the front of the house. No acces round the side or back. They could have been robbed blind for all we know.

OP posts:

wowfudge · 14/06/2014 08:41

I would leave things for now. If it happens again soon then that is the time to put a stop to it. When they are back show them that you cannot actually see anything and suggest they call the police on 101 if the same thing happens again.

If your DP was to disturb someone what would happen? His safety is worth more than their property.

PinklePurr · 14/06/2014 08:44

Umm... what if it had been someone with a knife or a gun?

I think I'd need to have a serious discussion with them when they get back.

LaurieFairyCake · 14/06/2014 08:45

I'd be fine with that as burglars often go along the row of houses looking for a weak spot and burbling more than one place.

So I'd look for purely selfish reasons, to scare off the twat who might be thinking about trying my door.

hollycomputer · 14/06/2014 08:49

Depends. If it happened regularly I'd certainly say no but the odd occasion would be ok, though perhaps not in the middle of the night! Our alarm went off one day and ndn went to take a look then called me. Fortunately, it was a false alarm but we and most of our neighbours are super vigilant due to lots of burglaries.

UterusUterusGhali · 14/06/2014 09:00

I think that's beyond cheeky!

If it happens again your Dp should refuse.

gimcrack · 14/06/2014 09:09

I wouldn't mind if it were my neighbour.

eddielizzard · 14/06/2014 09:12

well it depends on the circs really. if they had asked me beforehand, and were grateful that i'd done it then i wouldn't mind. but expecting it is not on.

if this happens regularly i'd be very very cross.

MoonRover · 14/06/2014 09:18

entitled behaviour - really really cheeky

I'd be having a simply phrased word with them. Like 'We will not be your back up security, please don't call us outside of daylight, please make other arrangements.'

Very good point about your dp's safety though.

MimiSunshine · 14/06/2014 09:19

I wouldn't wait for the next 3am phone call. What would happen is that you'd get woken up, then refuse they may well freak out. You'll lie there annoyed but feeling a bit bad, end up going to check anyway because "what if they are being burgled..." Then having to call then back.

Just pop round and say you checked but as you can only see the front of the house you're really not sure what good it did. And that if it happens again could they please call 101 as you didn't appreciate being woken up and wouldn't want to actually confront a burgler in the middle of the night.
But of course you will keep an eye put for anything suspicious during the day.

MidniteScribbler · 14/06/2014 09:21

3am? Get stuffed. If someone is breaking in, then they're risking your DH's safety. If someone is not breaking in, then they are disturbing his sleep. If they are that security conscious, then they should be paying a monitoring company to check it for them.

headlesslambrini · 14/06/2014 09:27

Are they in a different time zone? If no, then are they inconsiderate asking you to do this at that time.

Bouttimeforwine · 14/06/2014 09:29

Time fork a serious boundaries talk.

LookingThroughTheFog · 14/06/2014 09:32

I wouldn't mind daytime. A 3AM call would piss me right off. I need sleep.

DuchessFanny · 14/06/2014 09:38

We have a similar alarm system, it also detects smoke in case of fire. I would only call my neighbours if the smoke alarm had triggered to warn them, as the houses are attached, but if the burglar alarm had detected anyone I'd call the police, and probably text them to let them know that when the police turn up not to worry, that I'd/security system had called them.

I certainly wouldn't ask them to have a look !

SavoyCabbage · 14/06/2014 09:39

To ring someone at 3am and ask them to possibly confront an intruder is way over the top. They should have phoned 101 or whatever it is nowadays.

HSMMaCM · 14/06/2014 09:40

Our alarm went off in the middle of the night once. Staggered downstairs to switch it off, to see my lovely neighbour appear in the drive in his dressing gown.

I agree with others though. You don't want to be woken and don't want to confront a burgler.

BarbarianMum · 14/06/2014 09:44

Once is neighbourliness I think. If it happens again then you need to have a word.

Pleasejustgo · 14/06/2014 09:51

Ridiculous. If they are going to have a burglar alarm it needs to be linked to a security company not you.

shockinglybadteacher · 14/06/2014 09:54

That's fucking ridiculous, because they were asking your DP to put himself in what could possibly be a very dangerous situation. If they are getting a live update on a disturbance, that means there is a disturbance RIGHT NOW and if there are burglars on site who may be scared and overreact - let's just say that's not a place your DP wants to be at that time.

If it's making sure letters aren't hanging out the door, then that's fair enough. Feeding the cat, whatever. Sorting out burglars, less so.

It's not your job to sort out your neighbour's issues. Let them call the coppers if they're worried, not you.

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