to hate it when men think they know it all about babies/pregnancy/breastfeeding

[janesxx]

so a few of DHs friends have come out with some really annoying things, I was discussing my birthing plan and one of them said 'have a water birth cause then it wont hurt at all, its exactly the same as popping a spot underwater' ...so thats just stupid..

I seen another on facebook today posting "cant believe some woman has just wacked her titts out in the library to breastfeed her baby, I don't want to see them what dyou think breast pumps are for!?" SO IMMATURE I commented "she might not want to bottle feed.." and the reply was "no that's what breast pumps are for so you give them milk in a bottle when their out its still the same stuff!" i tried explaining bottle feeding breastfed babies can confuse them so its harder for them to latch on but I got nowhere.. it drives me nuts when men think that childbirth and babies are all so easy! how about they try!

you must know some classy men

You need better male friends.

No one I know would say anything like that.

I don't know how to say this but errrr...it's not really 'men' - more your male friends it would seem

I've never heard such shit uttered by anyone, no matter what their gender.

I remember attending one of those birthing classes in hospital where a man explained that he hadn't needed a local anaesthetic for his broken leg, so there was no need for his wife to have an epidural....

He was flatly refusing to allow her to have any pain relief that was suggested, and came up with some scenario where he'd been in worse pain and just bared it without drugs.

She had a hollow WTF have I done look on her face for most of it.....

most men would never come out with crap like that.
op......get some new male freinds

Wally I hope the poor women spent the whole of her labour gripping that arseholes testicles

I never saw her again, but always wondered if she drowned him in the birthing pool....

I had someone like that at my antenatal class. 'We' want a drug-free birth. There is no 'we'. She had, poor woman, a highly medical, very difficult time in hospital. I felt so sorry for her with all the pressure she was getting. Very ill little girl as well They are all doing well now with their elimination communication.

You have crap friends

Sorry, I might have missed it but where did the OP say "all men"?

I think she said she doesn't like being given advice by men (as you know they can't really give advice on breastfeeding and pregnancy)

OP YANBU.

In all of my labours when we discussed pain relief I said I didn't want any, and if I suddenly changed my mind they should check with my husband..as he would know if I meant it or if I was just shouting rubbish..

One nurse politely asked me if Dh had "concerns" about pain relief and if that is why I was refusing it. :( some women really are told they can't have pain relief by their partners.

It's lovely really that someone who has literally no clue or idea of what it feels like to have a vagina can decide how much pain another person feels in theirs.

The OP didn't say 'all men'

But she said 'men' instead of idiots

Ok so they happen to own a penis but primarily the people she described are utter fools.

I don't think their gender is particularly relevant.

The important thing here is:
Does your dh agree with them or is he halfway sensible?

I don't think their gender is particularly relevant

I think it is, in that they can't possibly have any idea. Even if a woman hasn't had a baby, she's had periods so she has some indication of what it is to have ladyplumbing at least.

I disagree

The words spoken were spoken first and foremost by ignorant small minded idiots. The fact they happen to be in possession of a penis is totally secondary to that imo.

Gender was relevant in this case because it was men telling OP how to give birth painlessly ("just like popping a spot underwater") and on bf/whacking tits outs in public/expressing for their babies - when it is women that go through all these things.

I call this mansplaining. YANBU OP.

I had a work acquaintance chime in during a conversation with a pregnant friend after I had lightheartedly said 'Take all the drugs, it's the only time you'll be well enough to get them but enjoy them!' as we were discussing her looking forward to gas and air & sampling some diamorphine.
It was clearly a joke but we got a monologue on how it was disgraceful the NHS encouraged it, we were made to have babies & she had terrible periods so knew how to cope with the pain and women should learn how if they cared about the health of their babies. She was a multi disciplinary tool. I'm still miffed the best I could muster was 'why do you take pain relief then? We were made to have periods'...So lame.

Some people really just don't engage their brains. It's both genders, parents or not.
It ranges from the pfb sneeze birth women becoming birth gurus & telling high risk women hypnobirthing would have prevented their dystocia to the mansplained advice from the Clapham omnibus.
I really do think pregnancy is the invitation to an equal opportunity clueless twat party.

Yanbu about your male friends though, they sound like IQ vacuums.

OP yanbu.

People who are picking apart OP's post, stop being pedantic. You know what she means!

OP - I am preggers and what I am getting really annoyed at is this:

Me: ugh I feel so sick
DH: me too. Have been for days, think we ate something.
Me: I'm just going to have a lie down my lower back is killing me
DH: so's mine - can you give me a quick massage before you lie down?
Me: I'm exhausted. Just off to bed.
DH: this early? You really have to stop tiring yourself out
Me: can you pass the Pringles, I have a craving for them
DH: absolutely not, I'm now having you feeding our baby junk

That would be very annoying but to be fair I have heard many women say the same and worse about the breast feeding

Yanbu

YANBU. I think it is very difficult for men to talk about an experience they will never have without coming across as total knobs, so most of them avoid giving an opinion - it's only the ones with a lack of social skills and/or a massively inflated view of their own wisdom that would pass comment.

(On babies I think they can say what they like, specially if they do full time or indeed any solo parenting.

At one point, DH was a member of a local board that was set up to promote breastfeeding education and awareness. I bottle fed all of our children (for medical reasons).

Also, he has a postgraduate diploma in family planning. I had six pregnancies in six years.

Although to be fair, he is (obviously) well informed about pregnancy, babies and breastfeeding, and has never come out with some of the total bollocks myths I've heard from women.

I don't think having a vagina or period pain is anything like the same as pregnancy and birth so I agree that some women are just as capable of coming out with bollocks (including those whose birth experiences lead them to think that all births should / could be like theirs). Nothing wrong with the wording of the OP though - men will never have to do so can be smug in their assumptions and assertions int he full knowledge they'll never be put to the test