To believe we've forgotten how to eat healthily

[Yoruba]

I'm so completely fed up of the school serving up so much rubbish, with seemingly no understanding that its unhealthy. It is really really hard to find good evidenced advice about healthy eating for children. There seem to be contradictory reports coming out all the time, and I say that as someone who is really interested in this subject so it must be harder if you don't.

The school meals are utter rubbish. They have a sugary rubbishy pudding every day, sweets at every possible occasion and now they have seen fit to start selling ice creams after school to raise money.
Im not even THAT strict I don't think, I'm happy for her to have these foods but evidence shows that eating them regularly alters your taste buds and makes you crave them more. I think they should be occasional foods we eat as PART of a healthy diet, not every day.

But at the moment I'm feeling like a lone voice and I hate dd feeling like she's missing out in not having what her friends are. I don't want these things to be "forbidden" objects of desire.

It just seems as though there is very little knowledge now of what is actually healthy for children.

When we lived in Europe and dd1 was in preschool and Dd2 was at nursery they had the most amazing lunches! Fish or meat course, pasta and seasonal veg and fruit.

I was so jealous!

Sadly In France it's not as good as it used to be pomme (we live between there and England).

That was Italy actually, we went to France for a few days last week on holiday and I was surprised to see 'children's menus' in restaurants there. I've never seen that before in Europe.

The nursery DS attended (in England) provided a fantastic range of foods and a varied diet for the children. Amazing what they could get children to eat which according to parents they would hate!

Yes pomme it's quite bad here they LOVE Macdiabetic (sorry) (they spend more money there than any other country apart from USA!

I agree with others on here. It's the constant offer of alternatives that seems to have changed most since I was growing up. That just didn't happen when I was a child. My mother knew I didn't like yogurt and my brother didn't like cream and my sister didn't like tomatoes and so on, and those foodstuffs were left off our plates. But there was never a totally different dinner on offer or several different meals cooked to account for different tastes.

There were certain dinners I liked less than others, but I ate them because there was nothing else on offer. Nowadays, a lot of parents would let me turn my nose up at them and offer me chicken nuggets or somesuch. I think that gets children into bad habits. I have a friend who turns up everywhere with dishes of pasta for one child, and noodles for another and a certain brand of pizza because they won't eat any other brand of pizza whatsoever. I think that's ridiculous and she's created incredibly fussy and limited eaters.

I just don't eat out with dcs, far too expensive.

That is weird daisy. We got marmite sandwiches if we didn't like the dinner being served (and that was always a long standing thing - e.g if it was chilli con carne I would never eat that etc).

I offer my ddd bread and butter if they don't like the food being offered, or I just leave it and then they eat masses of the next meal!!

I have actually stopped accepting invitations to dinner in a particular friend's house because of the constant whinging, crying and tantrum throwing of her children at meal times because they don't want what's on offer. Her DH starts off by insisting that there'll be no alternative and they've to just eat it or go without. Then my friend starts trying to reason with them and persuade them and the tantrums get worse and after about twenty minutes she just gives her DH an apologetic look and goes to the cupboard and takes out the coco pops or crisps or whatever they're whinging for.
It's just such an annoying performance and it's impossible to enjoy a meal with all that going on so I don't put up with it any more.
This friend was also dismayed recently when she and DH both had to go away on business the same week and there was no one available to mind her children, not even their loving grandmother. I wonder why!

I don't quite know why dcs should be 'forced' to eat what they don't like.

Why not cook what they like? If, as I said upthread, there's a variety of what you know they like put in bowls on the table then they can help themselves.

There is a stage that some little dcs go through when they won't eat much at all, i reckon it's to assert their personalities, there's no reason why they can't be given some fruit and help prepare it. Maybe then give what they like and they grow out of it naturally.

If you make it into a battle it may well escalate.

I'm on a few weight loss threads and many of the posters were 'forced' to eat and were made them clear their plates etc. They've been left with lifelong problems.

I agree ppeat, I always try to involve DS with discussions as to what meals we have and will often give him 2 choices, other days I will decide but I would never make him eat something he didn't want.

I grew up with cake on offer at weekends, pudding after every evening meal, yoghurt after lunch and unlimited fruit on offer whenever I was hungry. I ate school lunches with the pudding and custard, and sweets at weekends (limited amount!). I was skinny, very active and healthy. I did have to eat a reasonable amount of my main course before I could have anything sweet though, and if I refused my main course, I went hungry.

I'm happy to bring my DC up the same way. I needed the extra calories in the cake/puddings to stay a healthy weight, and with a very active DS who spends an hour walking the dog in the morning, and an hour on his balance bike in the evening, I think I may need to start adding some more calories to his diet soon or he'll get too skinny! Like I was, he's allowed unlimited breakfast/lunch/main course + healthy snacks (fruit/raisins etc), but pudding is small (and usually yoghurt) at the moment. As a family we love to be outside, doing things. That has the side effect that pudding/cake is fine in moderation. If we spent the day doing quiet activities indoors, I doubt I'd be worried about his weight!

It's important not to confuse not making an alternative with forcing them to eat though.

Iike everyone else, I've had hits and misses with the kids. But there's usually an aspect of the meal they will eat such as rice or pasta or vegetables. I have encouraged them to try new things but never forced.

However I don't do alternatives. If they genuinely haven't liked something then they would of course be allowed to have some fruit fir pudding.

If on the other hand they were just pissing about and had previously eaten the meal then I wouldn't force them to eat but that would be it. They could leave it but there was nothing else.

I also realise there may just be days they aren't hungry and that's fine too. I don't make a fuss about refused food or them not being hungry, they can get down and play when we finish.

Exactly Sirzy when DD1 was tiny she went through a very fussy stage I just went with it (made her a vit.shake sometimes) I never made a fuss about it, she got through it and now eats a healthy diet that she worked out for herself.

Sure, no forcing, but if they don't want the cooked meal or the bland alternative then they can just wait. They might be being fussy because they're not that hungry.

I do not think anyone is advocating force feeding children!

Sadly I know quite a few parents who 'force' their dcs to eat. I remonstrated with one and she said "because the food is healthy" . IMO it's EA; the particular dcs have said they can't wait to eat what they want. They'll be secretly down the sweet shop as soon as they can.

I agree, forcing kids to eat is just creating an unhealthy association in their minds with food.

But constantly offering alternatives is also storing up problems. I think a quiet 'well, if you don't like your chicken you can have some bread and butter' is neither making a fuss if the child genuinely doesn't like something or isn't hungry nor setting up a situation where your child will continually refuse food for the simple reason that they know their favourite (often processed and unhealthy) alternative will be offered instead if they dig their heels in for long enough.

What makes me really sad is that dd attends a great nursery which prides itself on offering nutritious, in season food cooked fresh on site. She eats a good variety of healthy food and doesn't have lots of cake, ice cream etc. I try to ensure she has the same at home.

But I'm wondering why I've bothered cause it sounds like she's going to have cake and processed food rammed down her throat when she attends school. Great.

But I'm wondering why I've bothered cause it sounds like she's going to have cake and processed food rammed down her throat when she attends school. Great

Do a packed lunch :)

Horsemeat is not meant to be consumed by humans under this country's food regulations and therefore is not required to be of a human consumption grade. This means it likely contains antibiotics and other drugs that are not safe for humans.

Otherwise it would be perfectly fine to eat.

Ref. packed lunches Gileswith Our GD takes a 'healthy' packed lunch and her carrot and celery sticks come back untouched. She said it was because the others look at her like [sceptical] that if she eats them .

Peer pressure and advertising also bad examples from siblings and parents can sometimes be to blame for their unhealthy diets. IMO

I thought there was a sceptical emoticom!

Giles: I can't see dd eating her healthy packed lunch if all around her are eating chips and puddings.

A neighbours daughter recently arrived at our house eating an ice cream and asking for crisps and sweets. Dd immediately put down her banana and asked for ice cream and 'crips' (she isn't even sure what crisps are). Peer pressure plays a huge role and schools have a responsibility to not make crap food ready available.