to hate the way dh uses

[oxfordcomma75]

We when I did something and I when he does.eg we had to resue escaped guinea pig when I did it and I mowed lawn which fair enough he does.
This is especially true when talking to inlaws on phone.
I really think mil in particular thinks I am lazy and this kind of crap doesn't help.

I say 'we drove to.... [insert name of town hundreds of miles away]'. Which given that I can't drive is not entirely accurate.

:o at I abhor a vacuum.

Dh does the "we should probably look at options for insurance renewal" and "we should get someone to look at the drainpipes" which is crap code for "would you mind sorting it" . Why the fuck he can't just ask me is beyond me.

When my husband does stuff like that, I ask him "which one of us is 'we'?"

It's interesting that when it's you it's we and when it's him it's him.

That says that he wants to be seen as the person doing everything.

tbh, I'd correct him.

What do you mean WE? I did it, you bugger! You were sitting watching time team

When I do stuff, DH says 'he' did it. If he's feeling generous, he'll say 'we'.

OP, start a rearguard action where the inlaws are concerned.

Example 1: guinea pig escape. Next time you see them: 'Oooh MIL, did DH tell you about the guinea pig escaping? It was exhausting!! I spent an HOUR chasing it all over the lawn. DH was laughing and I said, it's fine for you, you spent that hour enjoying XX on TV/ on the X-box/in the bath! I tell you, if there's ever a difficult job, I know where I'll find him - hiding!!'

Example 2: cleaning. 'Yes, I'm good thanks, well, lots of trouble with my back at the moment, but I think it's just all the house stuff recently - I seem to be spending every spare minute either racing up and down the stairs or bending to put stuff in the washing machine. I heard DH the other day on the phone to you using his 'Royal We' again when talking about sorting the attic out - haha next time I'm going to tell him to watch out or I'll take him up on the boast and actually make him pull his finger out and help!'

All said perfectly pleasantly, with a friendly laugh in your voice...

Love it bruno

He will never learn
Just told mil on the phone that we were out Friday night.
Err no you were out and I stayed home looking after dc, doing beddtime etc etc.
He is quick enoughto say that oxford was out last night so I looked after dc.

That's a bit off. Mind you I am fond of using, "Shall we..." when jollying my DH along to do something irksome it must be from when our DCs were small and biddable.

DH uses "I've washed up for you" or "I've hoovered for you".

Urggh, I get that, as if it's really my job and he gets no benefit from it at all. I usually point it out but he still does it - seems to be a habit, probably ingrained from years of watching his mother do all those things.

Btw next time you speak to MIL following another such glory grab, say indulgently,
"Awww did FIL always do that, claim involvement when actually he hadn't been involved? Really sees us as a team, it's so him!" Thereby not criticising DH but letting her know you aren't Mrs Idledonothing.

I shout in the background... 'We? Really? We???'

Mine was the same. It was always 'we' when I did something and 'I' when he did something. I picked him up on it and it stopped

Does MIL not wonder who the DC are being left with then?

We do have a friend for sometimes babysits but obviously not sure what she thinks. Well apart from me being lazy.

I do this to my OH sometimes, we need to unblock the drains type thing - when I clearly mean he needs to do it.
He has taken to pointing out that if it is a 'we' job and he did it last time it must be my turn. It is stopping the habit for me as each time i effectively volunteer for a job.

My husband once used the phrase "we gave birth"
Er WTF you sat there and ate bloody cream cakes, played on the I pad and was a general pain in the arse.