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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I'm in LTB mode - aibu?

24 replies

Puringmary · 12/06/2014 21:24

The other night I had an early night while DH was at pub. Our upstairs neighbour woke me up with his radio. I lay there hoping he'd leave the kitchen and turn radio off but he didn't so hoping turned to fuming.
DH came home so, pretty pissed off by now I asked him to text neighbour and ask him to turn radio down.
DH did this but -surprise - neighbour didn't hear it so nothing changed.
So, mightily angry by now I asked, not very reasonably, DH to go upstairs and knock on door to ask neighbour. Neighbour does this a lot btw but is always v polite and turns down when asked.
DH just won't do it. He doesn't say he won't do it, just keeps saying 'I've texted'.
I am furious by now, not just with neighbour but with DH cos I just don't get why he won't do what needs to be done. He's dressed etc. I'm not - I've been in bed remember. So DH and I have a blazing row in which he says the radio is 'not his problem' which infuriates me even more. I call him spineless (it's always me who has to be bad cop and usually that's fine but, really) I accept this was rude.

I think his attitude demonstrates DH holds me in v low regard.

He says he refused to do it cos I was shouting at him and I'd refuse to do anything if shouted at.

I've slept in spare room since row and am still angry and think DH was contemptuous of me.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 12/06/2014 21:28

In recap, DH went out for a drink, came home, was asked to text the neighbour, which he did. Then angrily and not very reasonably, you asked him to go up there. Which he refused to do.

The neighbour isn't scary, dangerous or worrying. Why didn't you go up? Stick some trackies on.

I think DH got your misplaced anger towards the neighbour, sorry YWBU.

CoffeeTea103 · 12/06/2014 21:30

You were the unreasonable one. Why are you ordering your DH around? You sound controlling.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/06/2014 21:31

If CoffeeTea and I care agreeing, you really must be U. Grin

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/06/2014 21:31

Dammit, *are

CoffeeTea103 · 12/06/2014 21:34

GrinMrsTerry

Puringmary · 12/06/2014 21:34

I wasn't angry at DH but at neighbour - again. It was just easier for him to nip upstairs - why not do it so we could both get to sleep.

If I get three YABU I'm going to have to eat shit aren't i?

Blush

Was I really in the wrong? I had been woken up . . .

OP posts:
Heathcliff27 · 12/06/2014 21:34

You called him spineless!!! Yes YABU, why did H have to text the neighbour, do you not text either if you're not properly attired?

Rideronthestorm · 12/06/2014 21:36

YABU, sorry.

Puringmary · 12/06/2014 21:37

Don't I need more instances of unreasonable behaviour qualify for 'controlling'?

'Unreasonable' May be a fair cop. And angry. But also sleep deprived. And noisy neighbours are a head-fuck.

OP posts:
PrincessBabyCat · 12/06/2014 21:38

YANBU for being irrationally cranky from being woken up.

YABU for still being this upset about it.

Apologize to your poor DH, and next time just go upstairs and knock on the door or call in a noise complaint.

Puringmary · 12/06/2014 21:38

Oh god. Now what do I say? I've been on my high horse for three days . . .

OP posts:
Icimoi · 12/06/2014 21:40

I don't get why you didn't do the texting and phoning yourself?

Heathcliff27 · 12/06/2014 21:40

Apology, beer, chocolate and sex usually work on my husband.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/06/2014 21:40

Just tell him MN says you ABU.

PrincessBabyCat · 12/06/2014 21:40

Shock Three days??

I'm going to venture a guess that this is probably a drop in the bucket over what's a rocky marriage with several more pressing issues at the moment.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/06/2014 21:41

Heathcliff I can get away with any two of those.

Heathcliff27 · 12/06/2014 21:42

2.....where am I going wrong

BoffinMum · 12/06/2014 21:44

You sound a bit unreasonable.
PS I am a noise hater too, but wouldn't take it out on DH so much.

Pobblewhohasnotoes · 12/06/2014 21:44

Yabu.

You were pissed off (understandably), and you're taking it out on your DH.

PrincessBabyCat · 12/06/2014 21:53

Heathcliff Depends on how bad you messed up. I can usually get away with fresh baked cookies or a dramatic OTT apology that makes him laugh for DH. :)

Puringmary · 12/06/2014 21:54

Ok, ok, you win Grin

Have apologised and said you all said iau.

In my defence, I ALWAYS do the texting and face to face asking always always always but I wasn't dressed and he'd just come in so I thought just for once . . .

But point taken and apology made.

I prob am under a bit of stress at work at mo. We usually rub along pretty well princessbabycat, generally balanced and happy but lately too much work stress for both of us.

Lessons have been learned!

Thank you MN and goodnight.

OP posts:
wafflyversatile · 12/06/2014 21:54

flump into the room like Kevin the teenager and mumble something about MN telling you YABU and that you have to apologise. sor-ray. tea?

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/06/2014 21:54

I bet he loves MN now. Grin

GiniCooper · 12/06/2014 22:00

Beer and sex I reckon, chocolate he'd have zero interest in and an apology would be lost in the throes of sex!!

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