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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this Card Fraud?

15 replies

FreeSpirit89 · 12/06/2014 19:37

My DP and I are engaged, we live together with my DS (4) and his DSD (6) who stays weekends.

Last night I went food shopping with my mum, I didn't have the money for the shop in my bank account, and I asked him to transfer some over, he said he didn't have time to do it, so I could take his card instead, gave me the pin and the card.

My mum dropped me home from shopping, and we had a row about the fact he doesn't like me speaking to my mum so much, and I shouldn't be telling her about our arguments.

It got bad, and eventually I asked him to go out and calm down. He refused, he started barging me to get into our bedroom and threatened to take my sons bed away because we bought on his card. I called his parents and asked them to come and collect him because he was being aggressive and refusing to leave. I didn't want to call the police because I felt like it was a waste of there time, and didn't want him to receive a caution because it could effect his contact with DSD.

Before his parents got here, he went mad that id called them, calling me a cunt and telling me he was going to report me for card fraud, when he gave me the card and pin, it was for food for the home and he lives here too.

My friend said its financial abuse, and I need to leave asap. My heads in a mess and I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Morethanalittlebitconfused · 12/06/2014 19:39

I'm with your friend (although technically fraud he consented for you to use his card and hasn't a leg I stand on)

Get out while you can

CatThiefKeith · 12/06/2014 19:39

It's not fraud no, but your friends are bang on about him being abusive - please don't let him back.

cardibach · 12/06/2014 19:40

The card thing is irrelevant. He is being abusive. You need to leave him.

RingleaderOfTheTormentors · 12/06/2014 19:40

Listen to your friend.
LTB.
And mean it!

Hoppinggreen · 12/06/2014 19:41

Card fraud is the least of your problems - your oh is an abusive bully

catgirl1976 · 12/06/2014 19:41

No it's not fraud. But he sounds abusive and horrible. :(

ilovesooty · 12/06/2014 19:42

You're engaged to this abusive prick? Get rid.

ThePinkOcelot · 12/06/2014 19:42

The card thing is the least of your worries! He is abusive. Get rid!!

AuntieStella · 12/06/2014 19:43

Never mind the ins and outs of the card (which I think is actually his problem, as you're not meant to divulge your PIN to any third party)?

Does this man actually make you happy?

ShakeYourTailFeathers · 12/06/2014 19:45

For god's sake don't marry this idiot OP Sad

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/06/2014 19:46

It's not fraud because he gave you his pin. But it is abuse. Pick up your child and leave.

FreeSpirit89 · 12/06/2014 19:47

Thank you all.

Im going to have to make steps to end it. No i'm not happy, just scared of getting him to leave.

He has already said everything that was brought on his card is going with him, and he refused to leave last night or give me back my keys.

I feel trapped with no way out.

OP posts:
Morethanalittlebitconfused · 12/06/2014 19:48

Women's refuge will be a great first step if for nothing else they will give you some good advice.

Good luck

Littleroobe · 12/06/2014 19:54

I'm with your friend on this it sounds like financial abuse. Anyone that threatened to take something away from my DD just because they paid on their card would be shown the door!

Just to clarify (as I used to investigate card fraud tho a few years ago now so some of it may have changed.) Technically yes it is card fraud as the card was not in your name. However it is unlikely the police would do anything about it due to the circumstances involved and the amount! Can't imagine it's more than a few quid if it's shopping. Usually the card company won't investigate further as 1. You had the pin and it was his responsibility to keep the card safe from abuse. (Not saying u abused the card but that's the banks line on it) 2. You are a relation. At the most the card company would ask u to pay the money back but that's unlikely to be enforced as there would have to be a prosecution. Can't see the police wasting time for a weekly shop!

FreeSpirit89 · 12/06/2014 19:59

Morethanalittlebitconfused - Thank you, I have googled them and will call them tomorrow when he is out of the house.

Loubelles - Thank you, you have put my mind at rest the amount was 47pounds, and I still have the receipt in my bag for it.

Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
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