So. I broke up with exP nearly three years ago now. I maintained a civil relationship with both him and his family for DS's sake. However... We broke up because he went to hurt me, having assaulted me before. In September he assaulted me again. This time I went to the police, and he was cautioned. In the months following I have started to see how abusive every angle of the relationship was and have taken steps to take a more 'healthy' attitude to relationships.
Because DS was in the house when he assaulted me in September (having me by the throat tight enough for me to begin to black out) exP has only been having supervised contact, which I have in writing from social services. This has been going ahead as and when he decides to turn up. I don't tell DS in advance, as he cancels so often; as far as DS is concerned, he gets the day at his grandparents (my parents) and sometimes his dad visits for a bit.
ExP is now taking me to court as he doesn't think supervised contact is fair. We're at court next month.
I feel a bit conflicted as to what to do about Fathers Day. I have always got presents (birthdays, Christmas and Fathers Day) for him - and his stepdad - from DS in the past, however all of this was before his decision to go to court.
I'm now debating whether to just get DS to write him a card. He's made a coaster from hama beads (he made exP a mug at Christmas), and I'm thinking about just putting that in the envelope, rather than getting him an actual present.
Is that unreasonable? My mum says that I'm being unfair to DS if I stop getting him presents, but I feel if he's still got him something, it's okay... Maybe?
Opinions please.