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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

If I buy a present? Or is it worse not to buy one?

7 replies

vandalay · 11/06/2014 20:24

It is my bf's birthday in a couple of weeks time. We are in a newish relationship (coming up for 3 months) but it is quite serious, we spend a lot of time together, met each others friends and so on.

My birthday was literally a week after we got together, he bought me a card but no present because he didn't really feel he knew me well enough then. Which was fine with me, I'd have done the same.

Anyway, the other night we were chatting about some new book he really wanted to read, and how he might treat himself for his birthday - and I said 'well I'd be happy to buy it for you as part of your present' and he said honestly he didn't want me to, because he never got me a present for my birthday and so didn't feel it was 'right' that I bought him anything.

I do want to buy him something, but then I'm not sure - given he said not to - whether it's the right thing to do or not, I don't want to force him to accept a present or to cause any awkwardness, especially given our relationship is a really happy one.

So what do I do?

OP posts:
lilibet · 11/06/2014 20:27

What about tickets for both of you to see something you fancy?

vandalay · 11/06/2014 20:42

thats possible - guess then it would be for both of us not just him

Although I'm not sure whether getting something when he's said he didn't want anything is a good idea?

OP posts:
Eebahgum · 11/06/2014 20:45

Get him a card & give him a blow job. He'll be happy.

VanitasVanitatum · 11/06/2014 20:47

Surely he's just being polite? Would be odd to be offended/awkward about a present. If he feels that strongly he can get you something as a late birthday present!

You could just get the book if you're worried, then it's not a huge present.

Chocotrekkie · 11/06/2014 20:50

What about beer/wine/champagne and chocolates type thing ??

WeddedBliss · 11/06/2014 20:55

I think the best thing would be to buy something for both of you. Tickets to theatre/comedy/gig/alton towers, whatever takes your fancy. Or a night away together in a hotel.

Something you can share so he doesn't feel awkward about it being just for him.

vandalay · 11/06/2014 21:01

he doesn't really like bj's (probably the only man who doesn't!) so definitely not that.

OP posts:
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