AIBU to be bugged that I feel like a 'fan' of my friends FACEBOOK page?

[williaminajetfighter]

An old friend of mine is a journalist and writer. Over the last few years she has become more successful and now her Facebook page, which used to detail moments of her personal life, is almost 100% posts about articles she's written, book openings and programs she'll be appearing on. All her friends then post 'well done' and lots of congratulatory comments to her etc.

I am happy for her and theres no jealousy especially as we work in very different fields. But I'm very tired of just seeing posts boasting about her career with no personal posts. If I did the same about my work I think people would get tired too (eg "I got the promotion...I made the sale...)! Equally irritating is that she has no time to comment or even look at my posts about my life and family.

I'm her friend not her 'fan' but I feel like some kind of fan of her page and her. I dont want to unfriend as I want to keep abreast of her life but..... would this bug you? Should I say something? Im sure that I will just come across as sour grapes.

Appreciate that this is a pretty trite concern but its been niggling at me.

No I wouldn't say anything at all.

Of course you shouldn't say anything! I can't even imagine what you could say that wouldn't sound utterly ridiculous.

Just hide her posts and then click onto her page every now and then to see if she's posted anything you're interested in.

hide her from your feed if it's bugging you, and stop being silly.

Errm no, why would you even think about saying anything?

It's her page, she can do what she like with it.

Of course YABU. She obviously realises no one cares when she takes a crap, how well her son did at school this week and what she's had for tea. She is using it for her writing and good luck to her.

Just hide her if you keep having these petty thoughts about it.

Well what's "personal"? Does she actually have children like you do? Obviously writing is a big part of her life, I mean tv appearances and everything, she probably doesn't have much time to do other things, especially not just for the sake of varying her facebook a bit.

I think you are a bit jealous - it's understandable but you can't say anything as she hasn't done anything wrong. You can try and get over it, you can hide her posts, you can unfriend her, but there's nothing you can say to her that would be reasonable, sorry. Do you really want to keep up with her because it doesn't sound like you're very fond of her? You don't have to stay in touch if you don't want to. It doesn't sound like she's making the effort either.

I have this a lot OP...most of my more established friends have separate pages...a public one and a private one for family stuff. Maybe you could suggest the same for her?

She might be using her FB page as part of being a journalist/ writer. I am a journalist and you have to keep promoting yourself and build a following if you are freelance as that is how you get work.

I don't, because I am rubbish, but I ought to. I would probably do it on Twitter though.

Rather than her not wanting to tell her old friends about her personal stuff, it's more likely that as her network grows she has more work-friend-contacts on her fb site and so she is restricting her posts to work-related stuff. Lots of media is quite informal in the sense that you'd have contacts as fb friends, but at the same time might not want them to see how hanging you are after a bottle of red on a Tuesday night.

The only thing you could say is something of the lines of how great her work portfolio is on fb, and did she know she can set up a Page for that? But if she works in multimedia she probably knows that and might be a bit offended...

So you want to tell someone else what you would like them to post on their own facebook wall?

There is a hide button.

Why don't you give her a call and find out how her life is really going? (It seems almost sacrilegious to say it, doesn't it?)

You could say "I'm loving finding out about your amazing career stuff but I realised I didn't know how you all were."

If she is using her facebook account for promotion, she will have all sorts of randoms on there with whom she doesn't want to share her intimate life details.

Ummm YABU. Phone her if you want to keep up with her on a personal level, it's up to her how she uses her Facebook!

You do actually sound jealous. If you don't like it, unfriend her. Done.

Would you be considering sitting her down and complaining to her if she didn't have a Facebook account at all? Because you don't have the 'right' to Facebook updates, likes on your posts or anything else on there. How she chooses to run her page is really not anyone else's business - she may not want to put too much personal information on there now that there could be fans/stalkers/potential employers looking her up, so she keeps her private life off Facebook. if you want personal details, call her and arrange to meet up.

I have two friends who are semi famous journalists - well famous to other journalists and the only thing they talk or care about is their work.

they can both talk for 2 hours without asking anyone else about what they have been up to. I don't think their career is actually good for their mental health. there seems to be a loss of perspective.

How she runs her FB page is entirely for her to decide.

FB has evolved, anyway, from the personal minutiae and chit-chat that it used to contain to what it is today. I see it as quite an impersonal social site that is longer the 'in' thing and many people have given up on it in any case. I think people are less open on it. I know that I am less forthcoming due to privacy updates that I don't agree with.

Just remove it from your timeline so you don't see it.

You can unfollow people onFB now so you don't see their updates but you're still friends with them. I find it very useful, though I think yabu actually.

Do people still use Facebook?

Thanks for all your comments. Appreciate my concerns were very petty - I just felt that I was supposed to write congratulatory messages on every post and it was driving me a bit mad. thanks all.

yanbu

what she should be doing is creating a business page and keeping her personal page personal.

don't know whether i'd say anything though. i would definitely hide her feed.

I had a friend who had a mass of friends and used FB mainly for his political campaining. He defriended me in a huff because I'd commented on an innocuous post of a mutual friend along with his ex. When he sent a friend request a short time later, it was with a political "share". I declined.

Hide button is your friend here.