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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so effing stressed out

17 replies

catgirl1976 · 10/06/2014 21:39

I know all of these are first world problems and none of them are the end of the world but........

My parents are financially stuffed. They've have the house repossessed and are terrible with money. They are living in a house my sister owns and rents out. She's dropped the rent so it just covers her mortgage. They get some HB but this month have told her they cant pay the rent. I have been giving them money every month to help them and I have just chucked them (tonight) £300 that I really can't afford right now so they can pay the rent. But I can't do that every month. Especially not on top of what I give them already. I just don't understand why they can't pay the bloody rent and I am worried sick about them.

DSis is 7 month pg and self harming. She got kicked out by her partner at 6 months and is devastated. She doesn't think she will love the baby and I think she is suffering from severe depression. God knows what it will be like when the baby is born. I am worried sick about her.

I have got to move out of my home on the 30th of this month. I can't bloody find anywhere to rent. Houses are just in short supply round here atm. We had somewhere sorted and it felll through. There is nothing on the horizon. It's going to cost a bloody fortune to move if and when we do find somewhere and I have less money now I have just chucked a load more at DPs. So I am spending every spare minute trying to find a place, trying to pack and sort everything out and getting desperate.

DM has to have a hysterectomy and is taking that really hard (nothing serious - prolapse or something). She is really upset and tearful.

DF has MH issues which are getting worse.

I work FT and have a 2 year old who I love to bits but my job is super stressful and I am exhausted.

I just feel like I am juggling everything at the moment.

Sorry. Needed a vent. AIBU to be stressed to the point of wanting to sit in a dark room rocking and drinking gin?

OP posts:
jeanmiguelfangio · 10/06/2014 21:58

I have no advice but just wanted to offer a hand to hold. And some rsther unmumsnetty hugs

RhondaJean · 10/06/2014 22:00

Would it be a stupid idea to move in with your parents and half the rent for the time being? You are already paying a whack of it anyway.

RhondaJean · 10/06/2014 22:01

Bloody hell cat, just realised that's you love.

That will teach me to read op names....

Why do you have to move?

It willbe fine, it will, you are strong and in the meantime gin is fine.

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 10/06/2014 22:03

YANBU to be so stressed, you really do have a lot on your plate. Thanks Vent away. I am just sorry I can't think of any solutions for you but didn't want to read and run.

BrokenCircleBreakdown · 10/06/2014 22:04

Sounds very tough.

Do you have a supportive DP/DH?

LineRunner · 10/06/2014 22:07

Hiya, Catgirl. Sounds bloody awful. Where's your sister living? Can you all bunk up together so to speak for a while?

I know that sounds a bit mad, but my OH has himself and, ooooh, five family members from various generations staying in his tiny terraced house with him this month. He is on the sofa.

littledrummergirl · 10/06/2014 22:16

Why not pay the rent straight to your dsis. She gets her bills paid and less stress which will help her recover?

Why are your dp not getting housing benefit, housing them is not your responsibility.

Could your dsis make then homeless so that the council have to house them? She can then rent her house to more reliable tennants-you.

Yes this is a bit harsh but your parents financial wellbeing is not yours or your dsis responsibility.

catgirl1976 · 10/06/2014 23:33

Sorry didnt mean to post and run

Hi rhonda x how are you?

I could mov in my parparents but as much as I love them theu drive me crackers. I have to miv as my landlord has sold his house a d wants to move in here :( I signed an agreement to be out by the 30th but I am going to call him tomorro an i I can get an extension
at all

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 10/06/2014 23:36

Hi linerunner :) just saw you there ...how are the teens?

Dps do get hb but have about 300 a month to find themselves.

I know pension credit etc wont be much but how things are this bad I dont know

Im going to tell them I want to sit down with them and look at whats coming in and whats going out as I cant keep bailing them out

Thank you for the hugs and hand holds :)

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 10/06/2014 23:38

Dsis I could live with (and would like to be around to help with the baby) but her house is tiny

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 10/06/2014 23:38

Sorry for the appalling typing. My phone hates me.

OP posts:
RhondaJean · 10/06/2014 23:38

I couldn't move in with my parents either Sad

It just seems like an obvious solution if you take personalities out of it!

Awful having to move when you don't want to. Is DH pulling his weight a bit more? You have had such a rough couple of years - stress is definitely allowed.

All good here - interviewed for a phd studentship last week should find out results in about a month, got an interview for a promotion next week - been a very stressful month but in a good way?

RhondaJean · 10/06/2014 23:39

Could you and your sis move into the house your parents are currently in and they into hers?

gobbynorthernbird · 10/06/2014 23:40

Jaysus, Cat, never mind can you have a gin? I think you need all the gin. Have my share as well.

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 10/06/2014 23:40

Put your parents in the tiny house, and you and Sis and DCs live in the one your parents are currently in? - Just what sprang to mind reading your posts, I don't know anything more than what's there about all your circumstances.
It will be ok, these things have a habit of weighing like millstones and then all of a sudden something will pop up and it will all be sorted out. Hang in there!

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 10/06/2014 23:41

Grin Rhonda Great Minds and all that... Wink

RhondaJean · 10/06/2014 23:44

Grin pom

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