to not want my boyfriend to stare at other girls

[hettiebaby]

Hi,
I'm looking for some advice I'm perfectly able to accept I'm being U if that is the case but I just think my boyfriend staring at other women when we are in the car on the way to our date night is awful. I'm next to him all dressed up, have made an effort to look nice and he's admiring other women without so much as a glance to me. I know I need to lose a few pounds but I think I scrub up okay. Its his birthday today and I don't want to ruin it so I thought I'd vent on here. Hrs so lovely usually so I hope it's a slip up, and hopefully I'm just being a bit precious. Is it okay to be annoyed or AIBU???

YANBU but is it a case you're you're noticing it because it's women. I usually stare at everyone in my car ,women included ,especially when I'm stuck in traffic and bored. When I'm out and about I tend to notice people and not realize I'm looking.

I would be annoyed, very annoyed. I don't see how a man can have the audacity to look at another woman whilst he is with his DP. It hasn't happened to me but if it did I would ask him a ton of questions.

I think the Red Flag here is that he thinks he is perfectly entitled to do it, but you are not allowed to

Is he generally a sexist pig who thinks it's one rule for men and another for women ? Does he do his fair share of housework, for example ?

My ex used to do this a lot when we first got together.

When I pulled him up on it he said he was just people watching.

Uh huh. Never saw him looking at blokes or unattractive women though.

I would dump him if he continues to do this.
I don't even like my own brother ogling other women when he is with me as the women may assume that my brother is my partner.

Ha! My poor fella didn't know where to look the other day - gorgeous young thing in those see through leggings looking like something out of grease. Even I had a gawp.

I think it's natural when someone is a complete knock out to not realise what you're doing (I've been guilty of it and caught) but I wouldn't like the general surveying 'what's on offer'.

Next time you see an attractive man comment to your boyfriend 'phwaarrrr look at tbe cock on that, he's a bit of alright, I wouldn't mind him hanging out of.me' and see how he reacts. Pound to a penny he'll be possessive and arsey. But somehow it is alright for him.

DH and I politely pretend not to notice attractive people when we are out together.

I'm sure we have been caught out by each other occasionally though.

If it's all the time and exaggerated, I would pull him up on it. Or as somebody else said, start very noticeably noticing attractive men. He should get your point before very long!

if op were to openly lust after a fit bloke to teach her BF a lesson, she has said there "would be WW3"

that's a bit worrying...what do you mean by that, love ?

what form would the conflict take ?

Oh I don't mean anything ominous!!! He generally a really lovely guy, I love the bones of him! Bute what I'm meaning is I would make him feel inadaquete and I'd hate to do that! WW3 in a way where we might have a tiff, nothing major. It was me being overdramatic. I just think I'm being a crazy hormone ridden thing tonight.

Ah. All is well then ?

Might buy him some sunglasses and be done with it. I mean I'm not bothered if I don't see it!

You are entitled to your opinion.

'Make him feel inadequate' - is he god or something?

Seriously OP the type of behaviour shown by your BF suggests that women are essentially a piece of meat to be ogled at.

Give it a few weeks/months and your self esteem will be rock bottom but you may just not realise.

He must have a vewwy, vewwy fragile manchild ego

I can't imagine having to pander to that, whilst simultaneously shutting the fuck up about something that upsets me

it doesn't compute, OP. And it shouldn't compute for you either.

There's a fine line between discreetly looking and sid james style ogling. If the OP can notice it all the time it's probably a bit too close to the latter.

I wonder to what extent he is staring if you're noticing this from a moving(?) car. I'm fine with DH looking at other people, I'm not fine with him being a weird creep and staring so they feel uncomfortable.

When I read your op I thought 'well it's pretty rude but if you are not bothered'

Now I read that you can't do it because it would upset him and there would be hurt feelings/an argument/tension but he does it anyway, I think it's pretty shit and you are ignoring what is pretty bad behaviour.

For me the subject matter isn't the point. In your relationship his feeling matter but in exactly the same scenario, he doesn't give a shit how you feel.

I would want to discuss that with him.

both me and my fella stare at women. Big deal. he only stares at me when he knows I've dressed up FOR him.

Crayola? Two "gentlemen" ( I use the term loosely) were stood outside the supermarket yesterday evening and stopped their conversation dead and stared at me . It wasn't a "compliment" or even an admiring glance it was rude, obnoxious and creepy.

Would you stare at a disabled person? Would you stare at a very overweight person? If you do; take a middle finger from me and fucking stop it. You look like saddos.

If he's doing it all of the time or ogling then he's being disrespectful.

My own dh notices as do I but we don't ogle people.

I hate when a guy is with his lady and he stares at me for too long, I feel shit for her and usually give him a bit of a grimace/scowl whilst muttering dickhead under my breath.