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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to email the school after an after-school club staff member reversed without looking and almost hit us?

41 replies

RachelWatts · 10/06/2014 18:18

We were crossing the road outside the school. The after school club staff member was sitting in her car parked at the side of the road with the engine running while looking at her phone. I assumed she was either reading or sending a text so would not be moving her car until she'd finished.

I was aiming to cross behind her car as that was where a big gap and flat bit of pavement was as it was a driveway, and was the most logical place to cross the road, being directly opposite the gate we'd just used to leave the school.

Without warning, she reversed about three quartets of a car length as we were about to step into the gap behind her car, meaning I had to pull my older son out of the way. When she stopped, we were looking at the rear door. She still had her phone in her hand.

If I had been using a pushchair as I usually do, instead of a baby carrier, my younger son would have been hit.

I got my older son safely onto the pavement, then went to ask her if she'd seen us, but she drove off before I was able to get her attention.

Would I be unreasonable to e-mail the school to let them know and to ask them to ask the after school club staff to be a bit more careful?

I realise crossing the road near a car with it's engine running is probably something some of you would never do and think quite idiotic, but I feel as a car driver she should have bloody looked!

OP posts:
Featherbag · 10/06/2014 18:37

She reversed while looking at her phone? I'd ring 101 with her reg no and let the police give her a gentle reminder of the law surrounding mobile phones and driving. They won't do anything 'official' but IME they're quite happy to pay a visit!

thebodylovesspring · 10/06/2014 18:41

I think we have all been guilty of stupid moments as drivers. It was most probably a one off. I wouldn't call the police over this as she might have repercussions at her job.

Just keep an eye out for her in the future and if it happens again if course or you see her driving dangerously then report to police

WooWooOwl · 10/06/2014 18:41

Yes, it would be unreasonable. It's nothing to do with the school.

Even though she had her phone in her hand, which clearly she shouldn't have done, it's possible that you were standing in her blind spot if you were near the back corner of her car. Maybe she did look, but genuinely couldn't see you.

Didn't you see her reverse lights come on?

LastTango · 10/06/2014 18:42

Why on earth would you walk BEHIND a car that had its engine running. Definitely a no no. You are both at fault I'm afraid.

LemonBreeland · 10/06/2014 18:44

I would think that when you are parked outside a school with children coming out you would be very careful when moving your car. I think you should have said something to her at the time.

GoblinLittleOwl · 10/06/2014 18:58

Speak to her as you clearly know who she is. The school cannot take any action as the incident did not take place on school premises, they did not witness it and there was no accident.

londonrach · 10/06/2014 19:03

I'd speak to her rather than the school or report to police as she using mobile. She should have looked full stop. I was almost taken out today on a zebra crossing but a cyclist. I gave him one of my famous looks but wish I'd said something now. I was half way across so he must have seen me! (Has taken row chocolate biscuits to recover)

Coffeethrowtrampbitch · 10/06/2014 19:05

Police. A child wouldn't know it was unsafe to walk behind a car with an engine running and so could have been hit.

Next time they might be. A dad reversing in a van nearly hit my ds2 and I agreed not to report him to the police because he might lose his job. He is still parking and driving dangerously next to the school and if he causes an accident it will be partly my fault because he's obviously learned nothing and shouldn't be on the road.

Please don't leave this unreported, she didn't even notice you trying to get her attention because she was too busy looking at her phone while she should have been driving.

ReadyToBreak · 10/06/2014 19:11

Report it online at:

Operation Crackdown.

Under no circumstances should you be playing about with your phone whilst manoevring a vehicle!

5Foot5 · 10/06/2014 20:19

TBH I think the most effective thing, although it's too late now, would have been to bang on the side of her car with your hand as hard as you could. This would have given her a shock and reminded her to be more careful another time.

Noappointmentnecessary · 10/06/2014 20:21

Yes, it has nothing to do with the school. I would have just shouted at her!

mousmous · 10/06/2014 20:25

police and email to school.
that driver needs a big wake up call before she hits someone.

TwoAndTwoEqualsChaos · 10/06/2014 20:36

Coffee you could probably let them know, even if they are unlikely to do anything at this distance, so it is on record if/when something else happens.

soverylucky · 10/06/2014 20:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChickenMe · 11/06/2014 09:55

Either speak to her or let it go but watch out for her in the future. Don't waste the Police's time. What do you hope to achieve out of this?

drivenfromdistraction · 11/06/2014 10:00

Well, against everyone else on the thread, I would speak to the school. Our school is always reminding parents about safe / sensible parking, watching out for kids etc. I am sure they would be perfectly willing to have the same conversation with a member of staff.

SaucyJack · 11/06/2014 10:10

I think we have all been guilty of stupid moments as drivers. It was most probably a one off.

If this is genuinely your attitude, please do everyone else a favour and hand your licence back to the DVLA as you shouldn't be on the road. It only takes a one off "stupid" moment to kill somebody's child.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 11/06/2014 10:49

it was most probably a one off

please do everyone else a favour and hand your licence back to the DVLA.....

Yes, everyone has one off "stupid" moments. I'm sure if you drive, you will have had one too at some time unless you are a "Perfect Driver" ( there's no such thing) or selective WRT your driving ability.
The main thing is to learn from them.

And yes it's tragic if there's an RTA but with everything there's risk.
Shall we never leave the house?
Or should everyone who doesn't come up to exacting standard just walk?

drivenfromdistraction · 11/06/2014 11:02

the main thing is to learn from them

Yes - and having someone else point out to you your mistake enables this. It's unlikely the driver has learned from it yet (if she had realised that she'd endangered pedestrians, she wouldn't have been still looking at her phone and failed to notice OP trying to speak to her).

But having her employer speak to her about safety when parking at work might bring her up short and make her think about it.

I wouldn't hesitate to speak to our nursery if a staff member nearly ran me/my DC over in the car park/street outside. Can't imagine why anyone would.

MrsWinnibago · 11/06/2014 11:06

Speak to school. She's a silly cow and selfish and whoever said "it might have repercussions with her job" needs to get some perspective!!

So what if it DOES!? She may have seriously hurt or worse a child! I HATE people who do things like this!

SaucyJack · 11/06/2014 11:12

Or should everyone who doesn't come up to exacting standard just walk?

If you a) think not driving into people's children constitutes an "exacting standard" and b) are unable to meet this standard anyway, then I'm gonna go out on a limb and say fuck yes, you should not be behind the wheel of a car (unless it's a Noddy one outside tesco).

sunshinecity17 · 11/06/2014 11:14

Well first off to step close behind a car with its engine running (when the only way it can get out is in reverse) is the complete height of stupidity especially when you have got kids with you.You might well have been in her blind spot when she started moving.
secondly puzzled how she put the car into reverse held the phone(which you could somehow see from behind teh car Hmm]} and hold the wheel.Had she got 3 hands????

pianodoodle · 11/06/2014 11:16

This is why I prefer to reverse into a parking space and drive out forwards.

I'd report it to 101 personally. Obviously pedestrians need to be vigilant but that doesn't excuse people who drive backwards while looking forwards, and I see plenty doing this.

They wouldn't drive down the road while looking out the rear windscreen so I don't know why they think it's fine to not look where their car is going just because it's moving backwards!

I would always report. I reported an aggressive tail gater via 101 last month and they took it seriously and followed up by paying them a visit.

fledermaus · 11/06/2014 11:19

I'd report straight to 101 too actually.

pianodoodle · 11/06/2014 11:19

Or should everyone who doesn't come up to exacting standard just walk?

Well it would be safer for everyone else.

Take pride in your driving every time you get into the car. You are in charge of a potentially deadly weapon and should treat it as such.