to not get exH a Father's Day card from DS?

[wavesandsmiles]

Some people might remember the utter hell that my Twunt put me through since January 2013, and he continues to do so. Sigh.

Frankly, with Father's Day coming up I am minded not to get a card from our 10 month old DS. exDH was the polar opposite of supportive during my complicated pregnancy, he, with hindsight, ruined my birth experience and certainly made the early weeks with DS horribly difficult, and continues to be a total Twunt to this day.

He got me a pair of bargain basket slippers that were 3 sizes too big for Mother's Day, and didn't bother with a card.

So, AIBU to not even acknowledge Father's Day? I am still struggling on with PND, and maybe this is contributing to how I feel, so would like some feedback as to whether it is totally bitchy to not get him a card, or a reasonable thing given the circumstances.

No, of course don't get him a card. When your child is old enough he can write one himself. Until then it's not your role to do it.

You only need to support your DS by helping him get a card for father's day when he is old enough to know what it is and he wants to send one. At that point you will be doing it for your DS, not for your Ex.

He isn't your father and your baby is too young to know about it so there is no need to do anything.

No card no.

Unless you wish to reciprocate & buy him slippers that are too big as well :)

nope, xp isn't getting one. If dd asked to get him one I would but she hasn't

No don't get him one and don't stress yourself over this. When your dc is old enough, and he needs your help then you can step in. Now there isn't a need.

I had the exact same convosation this morning as I was in two minds and my opinion is that if he deserves it get him one if not don't my ex won't be I do feel bad but he doesn't feel bad when he doesn't see or provide for his children.

No, when your child is old enough to understand and talk, then yes by all means encourage and help him do a card, but 10 months and in the circumstances? no way.

You don't have to be the bigger person over this one.

Thinking...

You could give him something made by your baby. Now what can a 10 month old make quite easily ...?

No. I have posted a bit on your previous threads and you owe him nothing. Don't give him any more thought, if it was an amicable split - maybe I would think differently probably not but definitely not in this case.

give him his slippers back

Oh I think you should get him a present, a chipped mug should do it. The chip should be right where he would need to take a sip from. Perfect present......

He sounds like an idiot, but is he a good dad to your dc?

If he's involved and nice with the baby I'd get him a crap present like he got you, a hideous tie from poundland maybe.

Now I do like Fenton's suggestion of something the baby made....

He's really not a great dad - not to our DS anyway! He has 2 DSs from a previous relationship who he dotes on entirely, and yes, this rankles a little given the (lack of) relationship with our DS.

Turns out I have a get out of jail free card - DS "made" a card at nursery so he will be getting that. (For a 10 month old his handwriting is exceptional....)

Grrr to fathers day in general. I also have DS1 and DD whose dad disappeared entirely years ago, and my DDad died three years ago, so doesn't feel much like anything to us as days go