That this is no big deal?? Try again!

[Letthemtalk]

Name change didn't work last time, testing

Apologies to folk who'd responded to my earlier post, which I had deleted as name change didn't work! Lets try again! To cut a long story short, tonight I received a text from dds friends mum. There is history of her being over involved in school ground spats, continually in the school complaining etc. Anyway, the class are learning about sex in school just now, so lots of giggling and sex talk going on. Another friend claims to have seen her parents having sex, and has told dd and other friend all about it in detail...

Other mum thinks this is disgusting and inappropriate, whereas I think it's pretty normal ( though the parents involved should get a lock for their door!). The mum has now asked me not to allow my dd to have these sorts of discussions with her dd. Aibu to think she's mad? I haven't responded to the last text.

( if you responded to my earlier post can you post again? I missed it!)

How old are the dc?

Yes YABU. I will be that woman come Sex Ed time.

They are 10. Mrs gosling, why? Why would you stop your children talking to each other about sex?? Dd has spoken to me and is clear that if she has any questions she can ask me. Surely it's normal for kids to talk?

Surely her problem is with the child whose parents don't lock the bedroom door, not your DD?

Meh just tell your daughter that her friends mum doesn't want her talking about sex ed with her friend. Job done, you have done all you can do then.

Does put me in mind of something I saw on fb about a couple having sex only for one of their children to open out of the wardrobe and shout boo when they finished - grim.

YANBU. I think it is a normal thing for them to talk about, especially if they have been told about it at school. It is something they are going to be curious about. As long as there is no misinformation going on, then I don't see the harm in them talking about it.

YOU may be happy for your 10year old daughter to be talking about sex, but clearly not everyone is. Tell your dd not to discuss this with this girl.

She doesn't like the other friend, up until a couple of weeks ago the 3 girls had weekly visits to the head after she complained to the school that her dd and other friend weren't getting on (dd included as she is the peacekeeper of the 3). There is lots of history, this is the latest in a long line.

Not a lot you can do really as you cannot monitor every conversation they have plus if sex is a topic at school it will be discussed on the playground.

I would refrain from telling my child not to discuss it with her friend as this implies that sex is wrong/dirty. I would maybe talk to DD and explain that discussing somebody else's sex life is not the done thing and is disrespectful to the people they are talking about.

The first thing that will happen when you ask your DD not to talk to the other girl, is DD will tell other pupils about this ban. Which will lead to all sorts od humiliation and embarrassment for the poor girl.

This level of control freakery is beyond ridiculous. If your DD were spouting evil bitchiness - fine. Kids will be kids. Absolute waste of time trying to police these things.

Oh, and according to dd the discussion was between her 2 friends, she wasn't even standing with them.

They're doing sex ed so there is going to be a lot of chat about sex going on. I'm a gimmer but even I can remember that! It's worth saying to dd that some things are private and reinforcing that if she has any questions she can come to you, but you're not going to be able to stop them talking about it. It'd the kind of thing we discussed endlessly at that age...

I bet you a pound the other girl is making it up about her parents though...

I think she's rightly uncomfortable/worried about the issue which the girl brings up...namely one which is a child protection issue!

If my DD told me her friend had seen her parents having sex, I'd be informing the head teacher.

It's wrong that a 10 yr old is exposed to their parents sex life, someone really needs to tell them to get a lock!

You can't police what the dc discuss & neither can she.

I would probably talk to your dd and tell her that said mother has complained & isn't happy.

And if the mother is cross at this then tough, she really needs to invest her time more in herself.

Mrswinnibago, really??? I don't think the parents did it on purpose!! Thinking about it they will be absolutely mortified if she goes into school and brings it up with the head!!! Poor friend 2!!

I was about 9 when I found out what "doing sex" really was (from an older cousin). Naturally I shared this delightfully disgusting new knowledge with my friends and for about a week I was just about the most popular girl in the class, with everyone asking me to tell them about it again.

Then a boy found out what "gay" was, hotly followed by a girl who found out what lesbians were, although she ruined her own effect by mishearing it as "lesbianicles". And so my popularity faded back into mediocrity again.

The whole discovery thing was very exciting but all over in a matter of weeks. 2 of my dses have been through the same process with one more to go. Their knowledgeable hyperactivity was similarly short lived, which this will be too if it's not stoked by over-excited parents shrouding the whole thing in mystery by not talking about it.

So no, YANBU.

Come off it, MrsW. If you were to run off and tell the headteacher about something like this, you would simply to on her mental list of mad parents. It's never been regarded as a child protection issue when parents fail to lock the door securely before Doing the Deed.

Can you imagine your dd walking in on you having sex and it being the topic of the playground???

Jesus Christ!!!

A child protection issue!!!

It is not an everyday occurrence.
I happened to walk in on my parents when I was a child around 10yo actually (thunderstorm in the middle of the night which woke me up). It was something I laughed about in later life and did not scar me .

Funny only on MN do people overreact in the way you just did. Exclamation marks a-go-go!

Anyway..the OP said the child told about it in "detail" so she must have seen a fair bit no?

Or she caught a glimpse and elaborated for effect? No exclamation marks, I'm not the one over reacting.

Lethemtalk ...quite. But we'll never know will we? It's interesting that people want to take the "It's probably nothing" road because that's what most people DO do.

You say I'm over reacting!

You think that a 10 yo who may or may not have walked in on her parents DTD is a head teacher/child protection issue.

My use of !!!!! is neither here nor there Mrs I will use as many of them as I see fit. It was my way of conveying my shock/disbelief at your comment.

Child protection issue my arse.

Only on mumsnet would you get an overreaction like THAT!