who is BU? Should I make the time for him?

[Evilwater]

Ex is a emotional abuser, and a massive gas lighter. We split in October and he sees my son 4 hours a week and has only wanted see his son on the Easter weekend. That's it. So he wants to see his son at the end of June month, that's fine. Recently he has been changing the days which he sees his son, for the past two weeks. I think it's because I had to swap some days, because of my work but I told him a month in advance and in one go.

But this morning as I'm picking my son up, now he wants to see his son on Father's Day. But I have a full day booked with my dad. I told him so, and he said that "he should spend the day with him, as it's Father's Day. So I want next year (meaning he wants to spend the whole day with his son on Father's Day next year)

So should I try and fit some time in for my son on Father's Day?

On the face if it, it's not that unreasonable for him to want to spend a bit of time with his son on Father's Day. Save your battles for the future arguments about Christmas Day!

Sure, next year is far enough away to allow it

Not this week obviously as it's too short notice and you have plans already

So, there are two children here.
One is yours only and the other is his too?
Why is he seeing your son?

And not sure what is your question. Do you want your son to see your ex on Father's day? In addition to your joint child?

lweji I got the impression that there is only one son, but the 'my son/his son' is a bit confusing. I was presuming she doesn't like to refer to their joint DS as 'our son' .

So he sees your son together 4 hours a week and his other son only on Easter this weekend so far? He has now changed this to seeing his other son this Fathers day and wants them both next year for Fathers day? If that is the case then 12 months should be long enough to sort this out.

Sorry x post. Is there any way, distance permitting you could let him see your son this year and spend time with your dad and collect your son afterwards.

I don't like to refer to my son as ours. He's always been mine, I've cared for him all the time. The ex has dipped in and out.

Oh and there is only one son.
Sorry.

I got the same impression as lweji, that there are two sons.

I think it would be nice for him to be able to see the son(s) on Father's Day.

So, he has another son who is only his?
Or is this the same child?

Still not sure what your question is. Should your son be with his dad on Father's day?
I'd say of course. Particularly if he is already spending 4 hours a week with him. A whole day is not that different. Overnight would be a different thing, but it's one year away, so I'd leave it open until a couple of months before.

It's not only the mine/his.
I still don't fully understand the 4 hours per week, and only on Easter weekend and the end of June. It does sound like two different schedules.
But regarding Father's day, my opinion still stands.

Only one son, so far as I can tell. And yes, assuming that contact goes OK in the meantime, it isn't unreasonable for him to have the whole of Father's Day next year.