to think this guy next to me is a total slob

[brt100]

He keeps doing this annoying berp without a sound coming out of mouth but you can hear gases if that makes sense.
Blows his nose and then puts tissue in the bin next to me to fester for the rest of the day.
Keeps hitting his teath with metal cutlery.
Sucks his fingers when eating quite loudyly, and he eats a lot.
Rests his hand on the top of my chair sometimes when stood up talking to someone.
Keeps pushing his stuff over my side of the desk.
Is unable to take a sip of anything without making alot of noise.
Opens a can of fanta and I can feel the spray mist on my skin.
Eats smelly food, like fish and chips so can still smell it for hours.

Asked me as a veggie if I miss bacon and don't I get bored of eating the same things. Even though I have a very varied diet and he doesn't!

Or am I just going loopy and not designed for offices?

Putting his used tissues in the BIN! The scoundrel!

I think you need to relax. Some of his behaviour sounds annoying but you sound so uptight I think you are probably focussing on his every move and stewing!

You do seem to get rather upset about strange things, every eyeroll inducing thread I've read recently seems to have been started by you!

It must be really stressful and exhausting being upset by just about everything anyone around you does/eats/says/believes.

There will always be people that do things differently, and if you are not interested in peoples opinions then AIBU is clearly not the correct topic to be posting in.

Op have you heard of the expression 'is it me?' Yes it's you. You have issues with absolutely everything and a lot of people. Life must be miserable for you.

Yes yabu

Omg coffee i was about to write that!you beat me too it

Have you got his address? I want to send him a card.

ALSO! I'm on a roll now you can't 're-infect' yourself with a cold so there's no need for frantic sheet washing. There are hundreds of cold viruses, but once you've had each one you're immune to that one. That's why we get fewer colds as we get older, because we've had lots of them already.
Snotty tissues may look grim but they won't kill you. Just don't lick them or rub them in your eyes.
And re the bin. Could you move it round to the other side of him? Just dangle a carrier bag off your desk for your bin if you need one.

Is there anything in this world you actually do like?

I'm sorry, but I think you've got issues.

I'm with Coffee, it's not them it's you!

LOL at feeling the mist of fanta hitting your skin.

You need to be in isolation. Humanity irks you.

I can see how you could find him annoying.
But then you write 'a lot' as one word, and that annoys me.

Sounds like someone I used to work with. He also used to pick his teeth with a paperclip.

I think it's probably apparent to the whole of MN that the OP either has issues, or is a total wind up merchant.

I'm not certain that loads of people getting quite so personal about it is going to do much good though.

OP are you my mother?

She is constantly exhausted by the effort involved in being annoyed by everything.

Lol I asked to find some opinions not to get character assisination and suggestions of mental health.

Shocker someone gets irritated easily.

YABU I'd tell you to fuck off

Lol indeed.

Have you tried farting loudly and then staring menacingly into his face.

Yabu and petty. Calm down!

Getting irritated easliey is usually over people stopping in the middle of the doorway or pavement.

Gettting wound up over someone putting used tissues in a bin is suggesting you have some serious issues to deal with or you need a very long holiday.

*easily.

(that still doesn't look right)

I feel for OP, her co-worker seems to have a complete disregard for manners and working space. I would hate to have to share a desk with him too.

The poor bloke smells of rotting flesh. He must be very ill.