That downstairs is where to watch a DVD

[IscreamUscream]

My 11 year old ds thinks that he is dating at the moment a girl in his class at school. They both say they are Boyfriend and Girlfriend. I personally think they are to young for this and said to him it's nice that you have a special friend that is a girl! Last week he was invited round to Tea after school ,let's call her Dolly for on here to her house. After I had picked him up I asked if he had a nice time and he said yes that they had Tea and watched a DVD in Dollys bedroom by themselves. I asked did her parents say they could and he said yes they were fine with it and left them alone.
I'm a bit miffed as I think they should have stayed downstairs at this age to watch a DVD or AIBU,Dolly is due to our house for Tea and I want them downstairs if they want to watch anything.

What is it you are concerned about? Sex?/ experimenting? If so then i assume you have had conversations with your son about sex and that it is for adults and illegal for children etc?

I agree op. Downstairs for the DVD. Period.

Err.... well, I wouldnt need them to stay downstairs but I would ask for the bedroom door to remain open. Maybe Dollys door was left open?

Would you let two boys watch a DVD upstairs?

Maybe there are older/younger siblings at Dolly's house so upstairs was a better place to watch the DVD?

At 11 it seems a little bit young to be worrying about sex

Sex at 11 happens (sadly) so i dont think it's naive to be thinking along the lines of prevention. However i would be totally open about why they had to stay downstairs if that wouldnt happen with two male friends. (A logic i dont get BTW- 2 boys can have sex just like a girl and a boy) if my dcs had friends over and i suspected they would jump on the beds and knock stuff over i'd warn them beforehand why the door was staying open and that i'd bring them down if they disobeyed the rules of behaviour. So i'd do the same if sex was my concern.

I honestly am worried about sex/experimenting and I don't want it happening. They had sex ed a couple of weeks ago and I have had the birds and bees chat with ds way before sex ed at school. I trust my ds to be sensible but also this is our home and I feel that when I say stay downstairs please he should respect it. He has said to me that I am being too overprotective of him when I said to him that I would prefer when Dolly comes round that it's fine they stay downstairs!

Now is the time to talk to your son about sex and contraception OP.

You need a VERY frank discussion with him about sex and about exactly how babies arrive....let him know the details about girls' bodies and about how there doesn't even need to be penetrative sex for a conception.

Ok so you say you trust him, have you told him that you do? Have you told him exactly why dolly has to say downstairs but his mates billy and jimmy can go upstairs?

I have told him to keep his private parts private and to himself. That it's important to respect himself and girls bodies. There is nothing wrong with having special feelings for Dolly but at the moment you are both a bit young to act upon them and it's against the law.
I just want them downstairs in eye shot really. When jimmy and billy come round it's different because they go off upstairs and play minecraft on the Xbox and occasionally even talk to each other!

Maybe they just want to have a kiss or something? You can't do that downstairs. Don't they get any time just the 2 of them? Assuming they're going to have sex is a bit much.

I think that 11 is way too old for the "private parts are private" line. He is not a toddler getting his willy out in appropriately.

There was a girl recently who got pregnant in year six and was the youngest mother on record so yes sex does happen at that age I can understand op concerns.

x2boys that has been in my mind as it was not that long ago and it shocked me. 11 year olds don't need to have that on their minds.

Am I the only person to find. This thread incredibly sad?
The fact that you can't trust two 11year olds to watch a movie together on their own is so depressing but true.

No they should not Iscream my oldest son is only seven but I would be concerned at eleven too which is sad as they are still very young .

I do trust my ds to be sensible but kids are growing up so fast nowadays and are to sexualised with it pushed into their faces at every turn, pop videos, pop stars half undressed. Eleven year old girls being pregnant the whole thing fills me with dread.