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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think I am being taken the piss out of by own sibling?!!

13 replies

Peanutbutternutter419 · 09/06/2014 11:30

So me and DBro took over family business in December as Dad retired.
During this take over, it was agreed that we would have to let our surveyor go as money was tight so we absorbed the extra work ourselves. Since then, the company is booming and we are finally making a nice tidy profit.

I have gone from working 2 mornings doing basic admin to 3 days full blown running the company (we also started a sister company to start fresh and are phasing out old one, so effectively I do 2 sets of accounts, tax returns, payroll etc.)

My salary increased as per daily rate when I increased days, however DBs stayed the same as his workload didnt adjust very much.

Now that we are making money, DB approached me and said that we should increase our wages...GREAT I THOUGHT!!!

As it turns out he has been discussing this with our Dad and they agreed that they think it is fair for him to get an extra £200 per WEEK and I can put mine up by £100 per MONTH???? I know I am only PT but I take work home with me, come in on days off (with DS in tow) and anyone who owns their own company will know...you never ever switch off when you leave the office!

AIBU to think that he is taking the royal piss out of me???

I want to confront him but need to know if i am BU before I go in guns blazing. I cannot speak to DH about this as he already thinks I am being taken advantage of and don't speak up enough and so gets very angry if i mention money.

OP posts:

TeenAndTween · 09/06/2014 11:38

I think you should see how much extra there is in the pot (apparently £900 per month) and then divide it up pro rata for your existing salaries.

PinkSquash · 09/06/2014 11:39

How much would you earn from the same job in a different company?

Janethegirl · 09/06/2014 11:40

Maybe work it out on an hourly rate basis?

Burtreynolds · 09/06/2014 11:41

As it turns out he has been discussing this with our Dad and they agreed that they think it is fair for him to get an extra 200 per WEEK and I can put mine up by 100 per MONTH???

On what basis do they thikn it is fair? I think you need to share this before people can say whether they are being unreasonable.

DoJo · 09/06/2014 11:42

Is this increase proportionate to the amount of work you each do for the company? i.e does he do eight times as much work as you or are his qualifications worth substantially more to the company than what you do? Because if not, then it's not really fair and you need to point it out. Could it be that because you take work home etc, they just don't realise how much you are doing? Either way, if you're working three days a week, I don't see how much work he can be doing in order to justify the additional increase!

I would also be wary of this kind of discussion happening between your brother and dad without you being a part of it. If your dad still wants a hand in how the business is run, then you all need to be involved in decision making and not having discussions which will affect you all whilst one of you isn't even there. And why are you only annoyed at your brother? Surely your dad shares his views, so he is just as much to blame.

LookingThroughTheFog · 09/06/2014 11:43

Is there a reason that your brother's job is suddenly worth £800 per month more than it was before?

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, but it might be worth thinking of your strategy before you go in to discuss it. Try to keep it as business like as possible; don't let the talk be turned to your backgrounds and whether you 'need' the money and so forth. Type up your job description and go in with it asking what value they put on the job you do. If there are reasons why your specific expertise should be considered valuable, add them at the bottom.

Certainly don't let the resentment grow.

WilsonFrickett · 09/06/2014 11:43

Have you spoken to a decent accountant? I think they will be able to advise you on the most tax-efficient ways of taking money from the business depending on how you're structured, which might take the heat from the situation.

For eg my friend pays herself a very low salary but takes a dividend each year... Another way to look at it is to look at what the worth of your respective roles would be worth in the open market and use that to set salaries, but then split profits equally at the end of every year.

Either way, I'd get an accountant (or similar) involved in this discussion because at the moment it's 2 against one and it sounds like they're basing decisions on what they'd like to earn as opposed to what's the right thing for the business.

Aussiemum78 · 09/06/2014 11:46

I think it's not for your dad and brother to decide. You and your brother now own the company? It should be between you.

You should at least get a market rate salary, so should he, and the profit above that should be decided according to ownership %.

HayDayQueen · 09/06/2014 11:56

The fact that your DBro mentioned your dad agrees with him actually shows that he KNOWS he's taking the piss, and hoping that your dad's approval will mean you will suck it up. If he thought it was fair, he wouldn't need anyone else's 'support'.

Does he see himself as the 'professional' and you as the 'admin' person?

FraidyCat · 09/06/2014 11:59

You should at least get a market rate salary, so should he, and the profit above that should be decided according to ownership %.

This sums it up perfectly. There isn't enough information in your post to make any judgement. How much would the business have to pay respectively to get outsiders to do what you and your brother each do?

Nanny0gg · 09/06/2014 12:06

You need to sit down with your accountant and discuss exactly your roles within the company and how they are paid.

It might be that your actual jobs are salaried and then you take a dividend.

Is there a board of directors or is it a partnership? Is he MD and you company accountant or what?

Does your dad still have shares?

It needs to be on a proper business footing.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 09/06/2014 12:21

First things first.

You make it VERY clear to both brother and dad that this is NOTHING to do with anyone except the two company owners - you and your bro.

Your dad has retired. He does not get to 'discuss and agree' one single thing about the company. He should not even be discussing the company at all with your bro without YOU present -it's unprofessional, divisive and well, redundant!

So what they have 'agreed' is not even worthy of discussion. If there is a conversation to be had about salaries and fair recompense, it will be between the two directors, and that discussion hasn't even started yet.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 09/06/2014 12:25

Oh and don't take any nonsense like this. Be very brisk and clear that you expect this to be the first and last time your bro goes to your dad like this. If it happens again, you'll want to dissolve the company, because you won't be caught in an uncomfortable 'family mixing with business' scenario, and you won't tolerate your co- director behaving like this.

Professional and uncompromising. Be the same with the pay issue. Be utterly clear that you will dissolve the arrangement rather than allow family dynamics to enter it.

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