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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want baby number 3?

26 replies

mrsdicko90 · 09/06/2014 08:41

I have a dd and a ds. Sister thinks I should be greatful for what we have, of course I am. But part of me and my husband feels that we should have one more to complete our family.

Mil also said she would kill us if we had another. I'm 24, husband is 31.

OP posts:
londonrach · 09/06/2014 08:43

It's no ones business but yours and dh and your financial situation which you know. Only you two can decide.

smearedinfood · 09/06/2014 08:45

At 24 you at still young, you could come back to this at a later point.

SloanePeterson · 09/06/2014 08:45

Yanbu. I'm expecting our fourth and am dreading telling certain people tbh. We have friends who are trying to adopt their third, and my brother and sil are on their third round of Ivf. I know they'll take it particularly hard :(

Squitten · 09/06/2014 08:48

What's it got to do with any of them?! Is there any particular reason that you shouldn't?

mummybare · 09/06/2014 08:51

Do you rely on MIL for financial/childcare help? If not it is none of her business and her opinion seems a little extreme. And it is no one else's business either. Only you and DH can decide what is right for your family.

Original poster
mrsdicko90 · 09/06/2014 09:16

Never asked mil for childcare or anything. They live 90 miles away.

When we had dd she was angry that we had her first granddaughter as she wanted yo spoil her first gd. She has never spoilt her, but now has two more gd who she does spoil. When we had ds she was even more mad. Her daughters have two children each, whom has never worked, neither their partners. My husband has a really good job and we could afford another.

OP posts:
Freckletoes · 09/06/2014 09:19

If you don't have number 3 you will always feel like something is missing.

Original poster
mrsdicko90 · 09/06/2014 09:25

Just rang to ask about having my coil out... Argh!

OP posts:
restandpeace · 09/06/2014 09:37

Nothing to do with mil!

restandpeace · 09/06/2014 09:39

Totally up to you and dh. I have four, no regrets... But it can be hard work and they cost a lot.

Spottybra · 09/06/2014 09:41

If you can support a 3rd then go for it. We would love one but still debating the expense. Not so much as a baby but as they get older with sports, music, clubs, clothes etc..

soverylucky · 09/06/2014 09:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lostlalaloopsy · 09/06/2014 09:54

I am currently expecting baby no 3. People have been treating me like I'm insane for having another one but we are pleased and really looking forward to it.

If it's what you both want then I wouldn't listen to anyone else and go for it!

VacantExpression · 09/06/2014 09:57

Your MIL's reaction is ridiculous. Go for it. I have three and would love a fourth, if we could comfortably afford it I would definitely have another.

Angelto5 · 09/06/2014 10:02

I was like u-we had a ds then a dd & when I told my dm she couldn't understand why we wanted another when we had "a pigeon pair" (1 of each gender). We have just had dc5 & think we'm done.my dh & I have been together 18 yrs (since I was 15 & he was 19) & married for 15.my dh works full time & is a very hands on dad-doing everything except the feeding (bf). If it feels right-go for it. Just expect the usual comments!

thebodylovesspring · 09/06/2014 10:04

Noones business but yours:

We had 4 and I loved having a little tribe.

Your mil sounds unh

thebodylovesspring · 09/06/2014 10:04

Bugger, she sounds unhinged.

Costs a bloody fortune through the teen and uni years though. Dead easy when littlies.

MotherOfInsomniacToddlers · 09/06/2014 10:06

I have the same. I have a ds and a dd. my dad keeps telling me I'm not having another, i did ask how he inteneded to police this and that it was really up to my husband and I!! IMO he gets no say, I live 150 miles away and they never babysit and I never ask for anything from them, and we can afford it. Currently ttc for dc3 and will dread telling him!!!

Lanabelle · 09/06/2014 10:13

If you both want a third and can have a third then do it, its no ones decision beside yours.

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 09/06/2014 10:18

Hi MIL, thanks for your opinion. Luckily, it counts for fuck all. Sorry that you obviously won't be seeing much of us in future, given that you don't seem to even like, let alone respect, our family. Take care, Mrsdicko and family'

fuzzpig · 09/06/2014 10:19

Nowt to do with anyone else!

We also have one of each and thought we were 'done' for ages but recently I started feeling epically broody and amazingly DH is up for it too, we agreed to wait around another year.

Not going to tell anyone about this except a couple of my close friends, nobody else needs to know until we are actually pregnant.

Assuming all goes well our two will be about 9 and 7 - never thought we would have a big gap like that but it really feels right :)

Original poster
mrsdicko90 · 09/06/2014 10:41

I love the age gap, youngest is nearly five, he will be at school in September and I can't wait to do the whole baby classes and groups again! Only thing that's worrying me is baby and either ds or did sharing a room, what do you suggest? Neither will sleep in their own now. They have their own beds but would rather sleep in one. Do I put them together and have baby on own or what? Grr

OP posts:
Pinkelephanty · 09/06/2014 11:04

We have 2 dcs and mil is against the idea of us having a 3rd (which she happily posted on my fb when I did a jokey status about dc1 begging us to have another) and I was a bit offended by it but her opinion would have no baring on my decision if I wanted another. No idea why she's so against it. She only sees us once a year so it's not like it would affect her. We almost did ttc this year but our finances are just too tight (but she didn't know that) so we're sticking with the 2.

If you want another go for it and pay no attention to them.

kellibabylove · 09/06/2014 11:10

Your mil sounds awful. Why does she have more time for the others when they clearly cant support their own families, ugh!
It sounds to me that if you didnt have a third you would always feel that your family is incomplete.
But on the other hand I felt like that at 24 and now 3 years later. I'm happy with two and wont be having more.
As another poster said, youre young enough to revisit this later.

ILoveCoreyHaim · 09/06/2014 11:27

I've been broody lately for DC4 but it's not an option as house too small and would effect dds if had a ds. Exmil already takes 3 of them and can't expect her to take another. When I have said I am broody everyone has a look of horror. 4 couldn't go out in car with gps. Stuff like that.

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