Have been mulling over this for a couple of days...
It was my 40th on Friday. Been with DH for 15 yrs, have 3DC 14, 12, 10.
I knew that DH was creating a present for me with a friend. It was something we had discussed, really more as an off the cuff thing, but still-it is a pretty amazing thing. We had also talked of having a big bash-we are a bit crap as far as entertaining is concerned so it would be a great excuse to have loads of people round. DH was going to organise it (of course I knew it would need some input from me as he is crap at organising stuff).
We never usually go overboard for parties but I always make sure family members have cards, presents, homemade cake and candles etc.
Back to Friday. DH takes a surprise day off (which I already knew about!). I receive a card and Facebook message from DSis, card from DM and DD (with a cheque-thx!). Nothing from my DH or kids. He then says the great present is not finished but he will take me to see it-it'll be done by next week. We go to see it. It will be amazing and totally indulgent but it won't be anywhere near finished next week, plus his idea of finished means I will still have to do a lot more to it!
We go out for lunch-very nice. We then go out for tea with kids-crap but a poor recommendation from a friend.
(I get various lovely and unexpected pressies and cards from friends and neighbours 
)
And that is it. Party is happening but in August and only when myself and lovely friend organise it all. Present is not ready (he's had 15+ yrs to get ready for my 40th). No cards. No cake. No effort from DCs.
In the past few years I have organised two 70th family meals for my DF and DM (no help from DSis), a fab homemade 40th hamper for my DSis, birthday parties, teas, pressies and decorations for DCs and DH. But no one in my family managed to do a thing for me-not even phone calls to say HB!
AIBU to feel a bit taken for granted or am I being a bit precious about it all or feeling old having hit the big 40 Feeling a bit unloved I guess. 