Or are DH and MIL?

[DuckandCat]

DD is 19mo. MIL called DH and asked if he could take DD round for a bit, because she wanted to see her.
Not usually a problem.

However she called at 6:00! DD hadn't had her dinner yet and by the time she had finished that it was 6:30. Bed time is 7.30. I'm not obsessive over these things but she's not slept all day and has nursery tomorrow (long day 8-5:30)

I said to DH that no way can DD go out now. MIL only lives 10 mins away, if she was that fussed she could have came to see DD at any point over the weekend.

AIBU to say that DD can't go? I am according to DH and I'm now feeling like the bad guy.

They are being ridiculous. Your MIL is being a selfish old witch. Tell her NO! Your DD is not a toy.

Yanbu. She should have arranged it earlier. But then I'm a stickler for routines and won't adjust them for anyone. .. nothing worse than an overtired grumpy baby.

YANBU. She lives 10 minutes away, she can see her any other time, right? It's inconvenient and ultimately disrupts DDs routine, it would be mean to take her over and tire her out.

Couldn't MIL have come to you for a cuppa whilst DD had her dinner and then played with her after? Even if she doesn't drive or whatever, DH could have gone to pick her up.

I think I agree with you that it's a bit disruptive to a 19mo's bedtime routine, especially if they're already likely to be tired. MIL could pop round to you and do DD's bedtime story.

She could have come over and done bath time and a story or something, instead of taking her out to hers.

no and I am glad you stuck to your guns, and you must continue to do so....

Why don't you invite her over, and ask if she wants to help with bedtime. She could do the bath and bedtime story, and you get to put your feet up for a bit. She might really appreciate being asked, and you aren't the bad guy if she doesn't want to.

YANBU - My DM and MIL both got a firm No when they tired this sort of thing.

Er, how is MIL being a "selfish old witch"? I'm also not seeing DD being treated like a toy either. Think Whocansay has jumped to that conclusion fairly quickly....

OP, yanbu to say no if you don't want to (although it's your DH's decision as much as yours presumably), but I don't think MIL is being unreasonable to ask.

It was too late and I would have said no, but selfish old witch treating dd as a toy? Ey? Ey?

Yanbu - we have a MIL that has always booked dinners out for family events and expected us to go.

Problem is they always book the table for 7-8pm.

Understandable maybe if it was a weekday but it's always a weekend and they don't do anything all day.

The amount of times we have had to ask them to change it and then had the moans and comments!

Crikey, calm down, yes she's a bit U but probably didn't think about it being nearly bedtime, it's so light now in the evening.
I'd just say to DH to tell her to pop round and help put DD to bed if she's only 10 mins away.

TidyDancer how on earth is she not being selfish? She's demanding that the OP drop everything and deliver her grandchild to her. She's had all weekend to see the DD, but it didn't suit her. Now the child is about to go to bed. Why would you take a small child out of the house on someone else's whim?

I retract calling her a witch though. I am grumpy.

Thanks for replies.

I did ask if MIL wanted to come round but she said BIL and SIL are there, so she can't. MIL isn't a selfish old witch though . In her defence she asked once, I got DH to tell her it was too late and she was fine about it. DH was doing the moaning!

As it stands DD face-timed MIL to say goodnight and DD is happily in her cot. Glad I said no, DD was most definitely ready for bed!

Which say, are you sure your not just a leeeeetle bit grumpy still?

She asked, was told it was too late, she was fine.

She's not demanding or asking the OP to drop everything, Whocansay.

The OP hasn't said anything even suggesting that. You saw what you wanted to see, and that was very mean.