To be disappointed/dreading my hen night?

[wispywoo1]

My bridesmaids have taken all control onf my hen night which I wasnt expecting. I'm grateful that they've taken their time to plan and arrange everything but I'm dreading it! I wanted to go and stay over somewhere but it's now local. My only request was no striper and I firmly believe there will be one. I suppose you could say I'm a bit of a prude but I think it will just be embarrassing and not 'me'. I want everyone to have a good time, lots of drinks and laughs but I'm just dreading it now. AIBU to not want the traditional, may I say tacky, hen night?

Sorry for typos, I don't know why some of that's happened.

YANBU but you should really have voiced your concerns before they booked it. However if they've booked a stripper even when you said you didn't want one then they are dicks.

YANBU. Make it absolutely clear you do not want a stripper, you are not joking, you will not enjoy it. You just want to have drinks and a good time with friends. Is there time for you to have input into the plans? It's nice they want to help but people have very different ideas of the ideal hen night and it's important they know yours. I can understand them not wanting to stay over somewhere, because not everyone can afford that, but they should respect your boundaries about the stripper issue.

Just be very firm you dont want a stripper...its not my cup of tea either

If it is any comfort my wife was dreading her Hen Night (many years ago!) but now looks back with great fondness to it.

You're not alone. I organised my own hen do for this very reason.. I only had one because I felt I should. I wish I hadn't bothered to be honest! Hope it's not as awful as you're imagining. I couldn't imagine anything worse than having a stripper either!

YANBU. My hen night was absolutely crap as one particular friend took over the planning, taking control away from me and my chief bridesmaid. I hated it and I look back with regret that we had such a lame night. In fact, the friends that have remained my friends throughout the 12 years since I married are not the ones who were at my hen do at all, but a group of friends I wasn't that close to at the time.

OP you have my sympathy. I planned a spa day followed by a pub meal and few drinks. My sister (chief BM) got me a stripper. He walked over to me and I burst into tears and ran and hid in the toilet until he had gone.
It was the one thing I had asked her not to do, I think it is seedy and exploitative. I'm not a prude, I'm not shy, I'm happy to be centre of attention. I just think it's gross.
We had an enormous screaming argument over it (her telling me it was just a joke, and me telling her she was contributing to the sex industry and it's widespread acceptance in society) and TBH I've never forgiven her.
I've also never been on a hen night since.
Make sure they know it's a deal breaker. If you want a hen night then make sure they what you won't accept

I'd cope with anything except a stripper, I think you should tell them you draw the line at that.

YANBU on not wanting a stripper.

chop you cried and hid in the toilet?

When they took the reins they said is there anything you do not want and my only request was no striper. I can get over it being local. I'm not sure if they've already paid out anything though. I don't want to waste peoples money if the striper has already been paid in full. Would they have only paid a deposit?

Just saw this on Facebook and thought of you. The 29 People You Absolutely Should Not Invite To Your Hen Do:
www.buzzfeed.com/robynwilder/people-you-absolutely-should-not-invite-to-your-hen-d

Whenshewasbad - yes I did. We had all had quite a bit to drink and I felt so betrayed that my sister would do the one thing I said categorically was unacceptable.

Why the skeptical face horrid? I'd have cried and hid in the toilets too. No way would I succumb to the horror that is the stripper with the dildo at a hen party. (Shudder)

My idea of hell. Could you have a word with one of them?

I'd have walked out and gone home if anyone had organised a stripper for me. Make it very clear that you feel this way and will do the same.

Year and years ago when I moved jobs a friend got me a stripper at my leaving do and I have to say it still makes my skin crawl when I think about it. I didn't want to ruin the party but I just couldn't stand it, I didn't want to make the bloke feel bad but I couldn't just put up with it, so I sort of hid and some of the other women made a fuss of him.

It was tacky, degrading and embarrassing.

wispy I think you need to be really, really clear and spell out to them that if there is a stripper you will walk.

This is why I organised my own.
I had a BBQ at my parents.
Everyone came (I invited all female guests) except my best friend who would have organised a stripper.
I'msure some thought it was boring,but for me it was a chance to see friends and rellies before moving away and also to get out of a local pub crawl!

My bridesmaid sorted out my hen do and my one stipulation was that it wasn't to involve any cocks. No stripper, no cock diddly boppers, no cock straws and definitely no inflatable cocks. I was marrying a man not his penis.

What I ended up wearing was a badge of a Cock(erel). ('Twas an awesome night).