To send Ds' pictures to exH?

[extremepie]

ExH has not seen Ds' since Christmas so understandably Ds is missing him a lot, especially since exH was a SAHD before he left so used to be there with the kids all the time.

Recently Ds has been drawing a lot of pictures of our family, his dad is always in them, I asked him to write a story for me and he wrote 'there once was a little boy called X who was sad because he misses his dad' etc :(

Wibu to send these pictures to exH so he can see how his absence is affecting Ds? Part of me thinks it would be kinda bitchy and mean but part of me thinks it might help him realise just how much his sons miss him!

That's so sad for your little boy, and for you to see him sad. He really must be missing him. Is your ex planning to see them anytime soon.

Why hasn't he seen him since Xmas? what's his excuse?

what age is your ds?

Ex is planning to have them for 2 weeks in the summer, he has only seen them at Christmas since we split and we broke up last summer!

He doesn't drive or work at the moment so sites money troubles as his reason for not seeing them, he also lives about 300 miles away with his new gf and her 2 daughters so getting to us to see them is difficult :(

I don't drive either and ds2 has ASD so long trips on the train to see him are stressful, difficult and very expensive!

I just feel quite angry that I'm the one who has to see ds cry and get upset because he misses his dad and ex doesn't have to deal with any of that! I'm really worried that he will cancel seeing them in the summer and Ds will be heartbroken :(

I wouldn't send pictures but I would let him know how sad his child is about being abandoned by him.

They are 7 & 6 :)

The best bet is be honest with DS. Send the pictures but be prepared to be told that your being a cow! My ex said he doesn't want to know if DS was upset and he should just get on with it.

So sorry your in this situation but DS will see, I wouldn't move that far away from my DC, how would he plan to be back on case of an emergency?

I wouldn't send the pictures but I would tell XP how much they miss him.
does he speak to them on the phone?
300 miles is a long way but surely he could make the effort a bit more often than every 6 months.

I would send them but with a covering note explaining why.

Do you have both have access to something like Skype or facetime that they could use to talk to their dad?

I have Skype and FaceTime on my tablet but he doesn't have either unfortunately, he does phone but not very often, usually I have to phone/text him first to remind him!

If he has Internet access he can get Skype!

Sounds like the selfish arse wouldn't care either way but I would send them in hope that he has a heart.

Or maybe get ds to write to him and tell him how he feela

I am so moved by your OP and think it is so sad for your children they have lost their dad in this way. Do they know who he lives with now? Did he move 300 miles away then meet the GF?

He just has to find a way to see his children more. It was his choice to move and that is not good enough if it means the children don't get to see their father!

Going 6 months without seeing their father and then having to spend 2 weeks with him, his girlfriend and her children is not right.

Our relationship is ok, I don't think he would use it against me as then he would be faced with the idea of taking the boys himself which I don't think he wants to do.

He moved up there to stay with a friend and 'sort himself out' as he was really upset by the break up but the friendship turned into a relationship.
I think ds knows he has a new girlfriend.

He moved away knowing that I have no friends and hardly any family here and that I would have to give up my job to care for the kids, which puts us under a lot of strain financially but he 'needed to get away from me as it was too hard being near me' after the break up :/

It's been very difficult, ds sometimes will get upset, cry and blame me for breaking up with his dad - ironically it was partly his, IMO, poor treatment of the kids that caused me to break up with him in the first place but I can't tell ds that :(

Itsfab I wasn't wholly comfortable with the idea but it's been so long since he's seen them and I can't really see any other way they will get to see him otherwise, ds misses him so much and is really looking forward to seeing him so I feel like I can't say no.