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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much is reasonable

56 replies

happygardening · 06/06/2014 17:55

My cat has just been attacked by my neighbours dog in her garden, neither the dog or cat are insured.
It's in a local vet but very ill they're talking about possibly transferring it to a university vet hospital, therefore running up a massive bill. The dogs owner is devastated and being really nice and has offered to pay for it.
If it was my dog I wouldn't want to pay out thousands what do others think is a reasonable amount to ask the dogs owner to pay out.
If the bill signifantly exceeded what we ask them to pay I would have to have it put down as I don't have the odd thousand pounds to spend on vet bills.

OP posts:
mrsmopps · 06/06/2014 19:34

Sorry but I think if the cat was in your neighbours garden you shouldn't ask them to pay anything.

lljkk · 06/06/2014 19:59

"you wouldn't do it to a human why is it ok to do it to a pet."

We don't own humans. We do eat animals. Of course they're different.
I could afford it but not sure I would spend ££££ on unreliable procedures no matter how much I loved a pet.

fluffyraggies · 06/06/2014 20:02

Maybe it was my particular ins. co. that was tight fisted Grin

My great dane had gastric problems needing treatment and food which they wouldn't pay out towareds as i couldn't prove that it wasn't a condition he had from birth. In the small print there were many restrictions concerning the pets age at which they would pay out for various problems for eg.: no cover for back problems after a certain age, no cover for certain health problems before 6 months old, etc. A massive excess if you went for the affordable monthly payment and as a matter of course no cover at all for the usual routine treatments - vaccinations/claw clipping and the like.

I kept Theo's ins. up as being such a large animal i wanted cover for damage done by him to anything/anyone else.

Any vets bills for my cats, however, have always been paid for out of household savings. My old cats lived to 17 and 19. Apart from one occasion where one had a torn claw i never had to take them to the vets. I know i'm lucky and so on - but when i think what i'd have payed out in monthly ins. for 2 cats for nearly 20 years, and when i remember how they fought against payouts for my dog ... i'm glad i didn't bother.

Original poster
happygardening · 06/06/2014 20:21

I never asked the dog owner to pay she offered and would never have asked them. Neither did I blame them for what happened far from it. I am perfectly aware that they don't have to offer to pay anything and that the cat was in their garden. It was an unfortunate accident.
The prognosis is very poor the cat is exceedingly ill, to even attempt to treat her would cost £2-3000 as a conservative estimate so we have been advised to have her put to sleep. I personally believe that this is actually the fairest out come I do not think she should be slowed to suffer any more. We by the way would not qualify for PDSA assistance.
Thanks for all those who wrote kind comments.

OP posts:
yellowdinosauragain · 06/06/2014 20:38

(((((op))))))

As a car owner myself I think this is desperately sad but absolutely the right thing to do for her.

Having watched my cat suffer after being attacked by a dog (in the street when he wasn't on a lead and the bastard owner did nothing to try and stop him) I think it's the best of a bad situation.

We also had our other beloved cat put to sleep after he became very ill with cancer. It wasn't as awful as I imagined.

Thinking of you x

yellowdinosauragain · 06/06/2014 20:51

Car owner???!

Cat even...

ViviPru · 06/06/2014 21:00

That's really sad OP Sad. At least she will no longer suffer.

If anything, hopefully someone reading this will think twice about whether to own a pet without insurance.

It's nonsense to say that policies don't pay out. This very morning I paid in a cheque for £750 from AXA as part of a larger settlement over some recent treatment for PruHound. It was settled quickly and without fuss in a matter of days... Likewise the £3-4K (can't remember now) we claimed when we had weeks of treatment and sadly lost PruDog.

LST · 06/06/2014 21:01

Op I'm so sorry Sad

I wish people would read the op properly. Maybe then the spitful comments would have been kept back Angry

Whathaveiforgottentoday · 06/06/2014 21:01

so sorry, just sending you support and to say it sounds like the best thing to do.

RabbitSaysWoof · 06/06/2014 21:04

Thanks Im so sorry. Pets are family members to me I feel bad for you.

Coconutty · 06/06/2014 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marylou2 · 06/06/2014 21:11

So sorry for you and your cat OP.x.

paxtecum · 06/06/2014 21:12

OP; I would have chosen to have the cat put down even if it was insured.
I think animals are put through too much suffering and pain just to keep them alive a bit longer because the owners don't want them to die.

It is often much kinder to have them put out of their pain and put to sleep.

I'm sorry about your cat and wish you well.

There are some nasty comments on here (as usual)- ignore them.

grocklebox · 06/06/2014 21:14

Its not really fair to accuse people of not reading the OP, when the op updates with something totally different from what she said originally. The first post said that if it cost too much it would have to put to sleep, the last entirely different.

Writerwannabe83 · 06/06/2014 21:18

I'm so sorry OP - what a very sad outcome from what was a tragic accident. You must be devastated and I'm sure the dog owners feel awful.

Having a pet PTS is such a sad affair, I've been there myself with my cats and the upset is unbearable.

You are doing the right thing although I know being told that doesn't alleviate any of the pain.

RIP gorgeous kitty x

fluffyraggies · 06/06/2014 21:22

Aw, sorry to hear your update OP :(

Poor cat. I think you're right. No need for any more suffering :(

Stinkle · 06/06/2014 21:26

I'm sorry to hear your update OP.

FWIW I think you've done the right thing. Just because we can treat really, really sick animals, it doesn't always mean we should.

We had our old lady cat put to sleep on Wednesday. She was old, she was tired and she'd had enough. We could have tried various treatments, but she found it all so stressful we didn't think it would have been the right thing to do for her.

Pumpkinpositive · 06/06/2014 21:32

RIP poor kitty cat. Thanks

From someone who spent £600 trying to save a bloody favourite budgie earlier this year. Blush Blush

BuggersMuddle · 06/06/2014 21:53

Not sure why everyone is having a go at the OP. Cats roam.

I inherited a cat who is extremely healthy, but by the time we had a formal agreement (long story) he was a teenager. The insurance costs would be ridiculous and not justifiable (bearing in mind we took him in when his owner (no insurance also) couldn't look after him).

I am fortunate to have a streetwise cat, but if I had taken him on and was not well off, I wouldn't necessarily be able to afford care. As it happens I can, but surely people would prefer I cared for the cat in the first place. There are plenty of cats in the same position, I am sure.

ProfPlump · 06/06/2014 21:57
Thanks
Writerwannabe83 · 06/06/2014 22:03

Well said buggers

I have 3 cats, 2 of which are asks tears that I've had since they were kittens (they are now 3) and their insurance costs me £18 a month.

My other cat is one that I stole took on because I felt his owners were neglectful. He started visiting 12 months ago but I officially classed him as mine about 6 months ago. Before taking him fully on I paid out about £200 in vets fees because his owners wouldn't and this, and also taking into account his age (12) I dread to think how much my insurance would increase to if I added him to the policy.

£18 a month is quite a lot to me already - but I think it's far better for me to have rescued this cat and finally offer him a loving home rather than turned him away back to his 'owners' because I couldn't afford to insure him.

HerRoyalNotness · 06/06/2014 22:06

Probably for the best to ease it's suffering.

I have a friend who paid out 30kCad on a cat, kidney problems I think, it was only 2yo and died anyway. I would have had to pull the plug very early on.

shaska · 06/06/2014 22:40

Oh I'm so sorry. But yes I agree with what others have said - I wish I had known what ours would go through in the 3 weeks we spent trying to save her, only to have to have her put to sleep. Once you start with treatment it's very hard to say no to keeping on trying, and from the sound of it it's entirely possible that yours will spend some time in care and still not make it.

I'm sure she had a wonderful life with you, and you've done the best thing you could for her. Your neighbour sounds lovely, really do feel for both of you.

Original poster
happygardening · 06/06/2014 23:16

The cat was rescued from my old neighbours, when she was only 6 weeks old, her father was a feral cat and she'd already been out when we took her. She was the most beautiful loving cat we'd ever owned but once outside completely feral she could jump and climb like nothing I've ever seen before. She was well socialised with dogs we have two. We tried to keep her in as I knew she was the sort of cat that could get into trouble and would also kill the entire bird population but she was desperate to go out constantly prowling around the back door. Two weeks ago I started letting her out for half an hour whilst I was gardening. She went for the dog who cornered her and he then attacked her. My delightful neighbours were happy to pay over a £1000 in vet bills despite my protestations that this was far too much but this was obviously insufficient and the prognosis was very poor. Putting her to sleep was the right thing to do I know but I just loved her to bits. We've owned cats for 30 years and she was just the most beautiful friendly cat we'd ever had.

OP posts:
Glitterfeet · 06/06/2014 23:30

Bless you,it sounds like you've given her a lovely life. It's a heart breaking decision.k

You're neighbours sound lovely.