To think I shouldn't be buying a car that I won't be able to drive...

[BoldBlackCherry]

My dp is a bit of a twat, very controlling and a nightmare to deal with sometimes. Things are good and bad at the moment.

We recently were given some money by his parents to buy a new car because our one is unsafe and falling to peices. The money was a loan to both of us to be paid back each month. This was all fine with me, I thought it was a nice thing for them to do because we would never be able to save for one ourselves.

We have been looking for a while and every car I've suggested hasn't been good enough. I knew this would be the case but I thought if I made him think it was his idea, he would go with it.

He has found one that he wants to go and buy tomorrow. It's a massive car, 2.5 turbo diesel with lots of bhp, very fast and very big. I have been driving for a year and I'm 26 so insurance was always going to be quite high.

I got a couple of insurance quotes for this car and the cheapest is £140 a month with me as an additional driver. I've shopped around as much as I can and this seems to be the lowest I could find. With dp on the car alone, it's going to be £30 per month because he has been driving for 20 years, is older and has no claims.

He is going to buy the car tomorrow. I'm a bit put out because I know I'll never be able to afford the loan repayments and the higher insurance along with diesel etc but he is adamant this is what we are getting and that's it.

Aibu to think this is not fair and that I should point out to his parents that I will not be repaying the loan for a car i will not be able to drive? Hi parents are lovely and will not be happy when they hear about what he has done but I don't really want to pay back for a car I won't be driving, even though I will be a passenger.

I was going to use the money I'd have paid back for the loan to save over a few months and buy something small and cheap for me and dds to use day to day. At the moment we have a golf which is cheap to insure but it's just on its last legs.

Not discounting the bigger problem of the man being a twat, I always use price comparison sites:

www.moneysupermarket.com/insurance/
www.confused.com

etc.

Should get more than a couple of quotes from there.

Did you read the bit of the OP where it said I got a couple of insurance quotes for this car and the cheapest is £140 a month with me as an additional driver Aga?

My dp is a bit of a twat, very controlling and a nightmare to deal with sometimes

What are the positive aspects of the relationship, what makes it worth putting up with this behaviour?

every car I've suggested hasn't been good enough. I knew this would be the case

Your "D"p is essentially saying that your opinion is worthless. Will this be the case in all major decisions?

This isn't about a car its about control and making sure you know your place. This will not get better. Ever.

Yes I did OddFodd, a couple of quotes is nothing though. The price comparison sites will give you dozens. Like I said, in the exact same situation ages, etc., we had a more powerful car than I think the OP is talking about and while there was a range of quotes many ruinously expensive, with a brand new driver we eventually only paid extra £20 over the year as named driver.

OP, the problem is not with the car!

Also, are you married?

If not, I'd say the "paying back" to his parents is up to him, not you.

If you were to split (maybe not such a bad idea?), would you be happy for him to have a car you paid half for?

You are certainly NBU OP, and your husband is not behaving in a very respectful way right now. Tell your DH and your PIL that as the money is being used for a car you cannot drive it is a loan on his part only, and put some serious thought into your future with this man as you don't seem destined for happiness as things stand atm.

Exactly.

does confused.com even work in Australia?

I think AgaPanthers is pointing out something worthwhile. It would be good for the OP to do her homework to get clear in her mind what the lowest monthly cost would be for her to be added as an additional driver. This would be to avoid nitpicking such as "you said the difference would be over £100 by I've found it can be [arbitrary figure] so your argument is just wrong".

I too think your H is a twat, who doesn't listen to you. He is certainly not considering his family in buying the family car, he is thinking of himself.

Clearly he doesn't want you to drive the car so why should you repay it? Contact the IL's asap as others have advised.

Are there any positives to this?

If he doesn't care that you can't drive the car, and he's controlling, what makes you think that he will not just demand that you contribute to the loan anyway? Is it that you as a family unit cannot afford to insure you or that you manage your finances individually? I assume he wouldn't pay for you to be insured on it?

If you can't drive, how independent will you be? Do you live in an area with good public transport or does getting a car you cannot drive basically confine you to the house without him?

If you don't want to have to live this life, you don't have to. There are ways that you can leave and people who can support you to do so if you ever want to make that choice.

also, if money is tight why go for the high speed gas guzzling car?
Does your H have a very small cock

Aside from the (far bigger) issue that your DP sounds like a complete obnoxious twat, I would say that if he insists on getting this car then he alone should be responsible for repaying his parents the money for it, if you can't drive it. Make this clear to both him and them.