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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think if you tell someone you will go to their house in an hour you do just that?

10 replies

missknows · 05/06/2014 20:56

Sorry but I need a mother in law rant.

Mil is a bit weird. Very sensitive and easily offended. Anyway. Husband and I have a 4 month old. Since birth she has visited maybe 4 times. We have to go to them as she doesn't want to intrude despite us telling her to just pop by. She retired a couple of weeks ago and we said now she will have more time to pop by and see baby. I have told her just to phone if she wants to come see her. Last week she called but I was just about to head to a baby group and explained that. 2 days later I called her but she was out.

Today she calls and says she has some cakes to bring over. I said ok but I'll open the door, don't ring bell as baby is asleep in pram in hall. Then I thought well she is going to want to see baby and she's only just gone to sleep so I said actually could you come in an hour so baby will be awake. She says yes that will be good, see you in an hour.

2 hours later she has still not arrived. Husband came in from work so I asked him to phone her to check she was ok and ask why she didn't show. She said she thought she would be intruding to she'll come over later (because husband is now home). He told her she couldn't because baby was now going to have her bath etc and go to bed. She knows we have her in bed by 7!

I just think it's so rude to tell someone you will be over at a certain time and not turn up, call or anything. And as it happens I did need to go out but stayed in for her which annoyed me even more. Arghhhhh.

OP posts:
SixFeetUnder · 05/06/2014 21:11

Sounds like she's trying so hard not to overstep boundaries and piss you off, she's managing to do exactly that.

diddl · 05/06/2014 21:14

Maybe she wanted to see her son as well?

Was very rude not to let you know though.

Hassled · 05/06/2014 21:17

She's read too many MIL From Hell tales on MN and is now terrified about whether she's being too pushy or not pushy enough.

Set a very specific time for her to visit another day and do what you can to make her be sure she's welcome.

DurhamDurham · 05/06/2014 21:19

Oh she was trying so hard not be over bearing and turnup unannounced and you have managed to put off twice in the same day. Couldn't she have come over to help bath your baby?

Ronmione · 05/06/2014 21:25

I think she's trying to be sensitive but is just getting it a bit wrong

missknows · 05/06/2014 21:34

It's hard enough getting her to interact with baby when she does see her let alone bath her!

I just don't understand how if she is so keen not to offend etc she could just not turn up after arranging to do so and not call or anything. I would never dream or making arrangements with someone then just not bothering or contacting them or anything.

By putting her off an hour I thought I was doing her a favour as baby would be awake and she seemed pleased and said she would come. She lives a 2 min walk away!

OP posts:
Scholes34 · 05/06/2014 22:52

Four month old babies are difficult to interact with. I've long forgotten what to do with them.

HopeClearwater · 05/06/2014 23:36

She's just weird. And/or rude. If she agreed to come over at a certain time, then she should have done.

Pumpkinpositive · 05/06/2014 23:40

Maybe she's got anxiety issues?

VanitasVanitatum · 05/06/2014 23:41

She might have felt you didn't want her but not know how to deal with it.

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