to not want to pay more for a joint fathers day gift just because I'm careful with money

[brt100]

I agreed last week to go in with brothers and sister for a join fathers day gift.

Sister said it would be about 60 for some garden stuff, I thought that was a bit expensive especially as dad has way way more money than any of us even during his retirement. Said yes to not rock the boat.

However just got a text from sister, she wants me and her to pay 20 and brothers 10.

The reason being is that one has a mortgage that he took on and that the other brother has debts.

I may have more disposable income but that's because unlike bro 1 I didn't buy a house I couldn't afford and bro 2 who bought a brand new car last year and had holidays in NYC and Florida.

Aibu to think we all should pay the same? Wish I had of just bought a 3 quid plant in lidl.

For the sake of a fiver I would just cough up but don't agree to shared gifts again.

Extra Tenner sorry, my calculation came from you would have paid £15 each had you paid equally

YANBU.

You either all pay the same or I would tell them you will get your own fathers day gift.

Sounds unreasonable to me, you should all pay the same - or as you say get separate gifts!

all should pay the same AND all agree the budget in advance

(only if one sibling was a student would I expect them to put in less)

OK thanks everyone.

Bro 2 is a student, but fees are paid for, he gets a grant + 600 each month from parents so is a pretty rich student who has pricey holidays and bought a brand new car

You should pay the same, or find something that costs forty if that's all they can afford at this minute.

Just pay it and don't fall for it next time.

Pay the same.

Don't we all love an organiser.

No. All pay the same. No more joint gifts, either, unless you agree a budget first.

Always find these threads bizarre. I'd never think so much about it one way or the other!

Don't stump up. She's relying on you to be mug.

It's sad that you're all squabbling over a few pounds when you're siblings.

do people really buy presents for fathers day?even once they are grown up?

If you sister wants your brothers to pay less she should cough up the difference.

Do not pay an unequal amount

Pay the same from me, too.

You should all pay the same. If people can't afford to share they should buy their own present. I might be sympathetic if somebody was unemployed or a young student but this isn't the case with your family.

Its not a few pounds, its double!

And we are not squabbling, I think its unfair so will just pay it and never go again on joint stuff

If the divvying-up was your sister's idea, you could tell her that you are on a savings kick for [necessary item], so you and your brothers will all pay £10, and she can pay £30...

I thought this was going to be about £100 v £200 or similar, not £10 v £20!

It does sound silly. People who can afford new cars can afford £15 for a present for their parents.

I'd give sister 15 and let her sort out the rest.

I'd just bail out of the agreement and buy your own present. It saves the 'it's unfair' [stamps feet] [pouts] argument, and you can buy him something nice

20 pounds might not be much for some, but after everything else is paid for, and x amount is put into savings its a reasonable percentage of our weekly disposable income

£20 is a lot to a lot of people, but you presumably think your brothers can afford £15 and say that you have more disposable income than them.

The difference is them spending £5 less than equal shares and you spending £5 more than the £15 you'd (thought you'd) agreed to.

Say to your sister that you agreed on the basis that you would be contributing £15 out of £60 and if she'd said £20 straight up you would not have agreed. If you can't afford £20 then you can't contribute and you (plural) will have to come up with a different plan/s.