About DH going away

[Lancashiregal10]

First of all I def get the feeling I am being unreasonable and will be told so
DH works at a college, he always goes away for three (separate) week in the year with students and other lecturers (sometimes abroad sometimes in uk)
He can home today and said next year they are planning a big trip to America and he will be gone for a month. (All paid for)
My issue is that I have epilepsy and a couple of times since DS (ten months) was born I have had to heavily depend on my parents to help when DH has been away.
DS with be 18 months when he goes. I have stages when my epilepsy is bad and I am worried that if I am going through a bad patch I will have to really lean on my mum and dad for help.
Don't think I will stop him going as it is an amazing opportunity. But just feel a bit down in the dumps and poss a bit jealous
Maybe I need a new job that's sends me abroad a few times a year. Lol

I mean if there was some incident involving the students, you don't want the member of staff wondering who to save first...

I actually think a month in sole charge of a toddler is a big ask for anyone, so the epilepsy although also very important isn't the main reason I think he's bu. sounds like you can both put your heads together and come up with a plan but I hope he appreciated you for it if you do work something out! Could he go for a bit less time, if they're touring, surely he and another teacher can split the time?

It might be helpful to run it by your parents to get an idea of their thoughts.

Eight months - so he'd be away end of Feb?

Could you afford some paid help, so your parents (and you) can have break/home help.

I don't think it would be a big issue normally- many people are single parents, have partners in the forces, my own db makes films and csn be awsy for a long time.
However, firstly telling you rather thsn asking you when it is optional is wrong. Secondly, he knew you hsd your epilepsy when he married and hsd a child with you-whyis he ignoring it?
I tink you probably could manage with lots of help from parents but what if they have plans?

My coworker spent three weeks in our company's European HQ last year (we are in the USA so no quick weekend trips back home). Her husband supported this and took care of their two year old daughter. He doesn't have epilepsy but he is in a wheelchair and works FT (he took paid holiday time off). I completely understand that epilepsy involves the constant need for emergency backup so I'm definitely not trying to compare these situations, but I know it was something they both discussed seriously and her parents flew in to help out for a week. Ultimately her DH didn't want her to miss out or suffer any career consequences. One thing they did decide on was to save up and make time for their own trip to Europe this year so her DH can have enjoy Europe for himself (he's never been before.)

If you think you could make this work (and only if you think you can) I think it's fair for you and DH to make a plan for you, him and DS to have a trip somewhere yourselves next year or whenever you plan for.